Love: Self report

Self report

By SmoothTalker - 16/03/2009 17:40 - United States

Today, I had a meeting with my super-hot TA. When I got to her office, she complimented me for being early, to which I thoughtfully replied, "Oh, I usually come early." She laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 328

You deserved it 33 941

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Same thing different taste

By babbling idiot - 14/08/2015 09:35 - Canada

Today, I approached a hot female security guard and attempted to compliment her new tattoos. Instead of saying, "Nice tats", I ended up saying, "Nice tits". My HR meeting is tomorrow morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 473

You deserved it 9 668

Mean Girls

By 1nfected - 26/08/2009 17:07 - Canada

Today, when I arrived at work, I was greeted by my gorgeous coworker telling me my red shirt looked awesome on me. Before I could compliment her, she added that the color was fitting perfectly with my acne. I heard a couple of giggles around me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 415

You deserved it 3 637

By EmployeeOfTheMonth - 27/06/2009 07:03 - United States

Today, my attractive boss sat me down in the break room to say how much she appreciated how much work I've been doing despite being a temp. She was wearing a skirt, and I couldn't take my eyes off her legs. She then patted me on the leg and said "Good Talk". It wasn't my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 817

You deserved it 19 224

By fatty - 14/08/2014 03:46 - United States - Madison

Today, I was chatting with the cute new receptionist at the gym. I told her that I would be going there more if she was there. She looked me up and down and said that I should go regardless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 365

You deserved it 15 868

Hopeless

By Dumbdumb - 15/02/2010 14:29 - United States

Today, at work, a really hot guy came up to me and asked, "What are your hours?" Excited, I told him I get off at 4, but might be able to get out sooner. He started laughing and then said, "I meant your store hours." He turned around and walked away, shaking his head and laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 720

You deserved it 33 240

By Anonymous - 01/10/2010 11:48 - United States

Today, as I was leaving the office, I heard my very cute coworker behind me say "Hey gorgeous, where are you off to?" I turned around with a smile and said "About to hit up happy hour." He was on the phone with his wife. I'm calling in sick tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 478

You deserved it 12 212

Wrong target

By footinmouth - 21/01/2009 23:15 - United States

Today, I was hitting on a girl who was getting ready to walk into the same class as me. We were waiting outside the room, so I told her that I'd heard the professor for the course was a total bitch. We walked into the room. I sat down at a desk. She stood behind the podium. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 917

You deserved it 38 834

Thanks Susan

By Noname - 24/02/2009 23:00 - United States

Today, I got up early and really put some extra effort into my appearance to catch the eye of a cute guy at work. I walked in and the woman who sits at the desk beside me looks over and says, "Wow, are you sick? You're not looking too good." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 293

You deserved it 4 928

Suck up

By Anonymous - 22/08/2015 06:58 - United States - Cadillac

Today, I showed up to my new job early, hoping to impress my new boss. When he arrived, he walked by me and muttered, "Fucking tryhard." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 793

You deserved it 3 418

By Anonymous - 17/10/2013 13:43 - United States - Romulus

Today, in calculus, our substitute teacher told me I was smart. Everybody in the class, including my friends, burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 840

You deserved it 4 733

vonstrangle 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 0:15

"Today someone had a sense of humor and I didn't. FML"

vietiscool 2

Tuesday 17 March 2009 0:05

it's ok. funny joke.

Comments

armorforchrissy 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 0:41

THATS WHAT SHE SAID!

IMTHEGREATEST 0

Monday 29 March 2010 2:22

oh my god you're so clever and the only one who thought that... dumbass, it was implied

uguysareidiots 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 0:41

Wait this is an fml? wtf is wrong with you? it was a joke. say "haha oh yes i do" then get lucky and have sex. retard.

Trel 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 0:43

She complimented me for being early and I **** IN MY PANT

TylersBoo 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 21:29

haha(:

hockeyplaya 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 0:48

FYL? a hot TA made is either flirting with you or she is a pervert. your lucky. PYL (praise your life)

crazydoug 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 0:51

if you didnt have sex with her right there and then your a ******

mfmylife95 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 0:51

not a FML

idoloveitbaby 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 0:53

lol @ 23. he probably did **** in his pants.

Tuxedo_Mask 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 0:55

lol. fuuuuuuuuuuunny.

kandy_fml 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 0:57

This isn't a FML. You made her laugh. You probably got brownie points with her. Good job out there.

llSgtScopell 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 0:57

Not a FML dude, she thinks your funny now!

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Racism Love Money My ex Harassment Work Accident Embarrassing AITA Religion Am I overreacting? Relatable Health Gifts LGBTQIA+ Annoying Inappropriate Teachers Education Dogs Animals Relationship advice Cute Cats Transportation Cars Friends Scams

The Top

Today, a client called my supervisor to complain that I wasn’t answering my phone. Then they called patients' advocate and submitted a second complaint. I was on my lunch break, but still got written up the moment I returned. No, I wasn’t late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 60

Hi gang! Welcome to this week’s illustrated FML! As you will find out, this week we’re all about the lovin’. Summer is just around the corner and layers of clothes are being shed. Admit it, when you’ll come across a cute girl/hot guy in th...

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

The Top

Today, I tried to save money by buying a generic brand of coffee instead of my usual brand. It tasted terrible and I ended up throwing it away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 536

You deserved it 334

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to yell out, "Pass the bong, Emma!" while I was on the phone to my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 296

You deserved it 6 368

Today, a woman somehow managed to drop her wedding ring into the garbage at the fast food place where I work. I had to search through a full bag of half eaten food and soda to find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 332

You deserved it 2 737

Today, I woke up to find my freshly dry-cleaned $200 suit not on my bed. Instead I found my drunk ex-girlfriend. Not only did she break into my house, she decided that she wanted to sleep in my bed and threw my suit into the trash. I have a job interview today and the garbage men already came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 422

You deserved it 3 006

Today, I received a 4 page letter in the post from a woman telling me she was Alan's wife. She spoke about their wedding in 2004, their two beautiful kids who love their daddy very much (she included pictures), and how much she loves him. Alan is my husband of 7 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 872

You deserved it 2 961

Today, I came home to find my boyfriend playing with himself. He got mad and said I "killed the mood". How? By coming home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 267

You deserved it 347