Intimacy: Sex is out the window

Sex is out the window

By dfhgblsf - 05/04/2009 19:15 - United States

Today, I was having sex with a girl I had just met. After about five minutes in, she said she had to go to the bathroom, so we stopped and she left the room. After waiting around ten minutes, I decided to check if she was OK. The window was open. She was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108 678

You deserved it 36 604

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Same thing different taste

Mood breaker

By Anonymous - 01/10/2021 06:30 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, I was having sexy time with my girlfriend when she said she needed to pee. She came back 5 minutes later and started talking about how she hasn't seen her best friend in ages and misses her. Needless to say, I couldn't get the man downstairs back up when we continued. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 090

You deserved it 188

By Lo - 25/10/2008 16:56

Today, I went to see a movie with the girl I've liked for months. After the commercials, she told me she had to go to the ladies room. She never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 798

You deserved it 4 709

Can't win

By Anonymous - 24/09/2019 22:00

Today, I was in the mood for morning sex, but my wife told me to go wank it off in the bathroom. Three minutes later I was mid-wank when she started banging on the door because I was taking too long, and she needed to pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 160

You deserved it 363

By coolhand - 29/08/2009 15:13 - United States

Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 514

You deserved it 67 441

Escape route

By crap - 26/03/2009 08:37 - Thailand

Today, I went out with this girl I really liked and she came back to my place. Things were heating up and we ended up having sex. I was on top and really into it but in the middle of it she held up her wrist and said, "Huh, look at the time, I gotta get home." She wasn't wearing a watch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 747

You deserved it 17 915

By Anonymous - 14/03/2013 16:59 - Germany - Dortmund

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 730

You deserved it 10 556

Get on with it

By KaRaSu - 22/11/2008 12:24 - France

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 914

You deserved it 7 113

Quickie

By Anonymous - 11/02/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, when my boyfriend came over he was on his phone. We spent about 15 minutes together before having sex, then he made a phone call and said he had to leave. I could hear him from my window apologising to his coworker because he “just had to do something real quick but was now free to talk again.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 158

Fast and Furious

By Anonymous - 02/03/2020 01:00

Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 1 782

Dirty sex

By Anonymous - 20/11/2022 06:00 - Canada - Burlington

Today, I was in my girlfriend's room when she walked in after getting out of the shower, wearing just a towel. She removed it and I was inches away from going down on her when I noticed she hadn’t wiped properly, either before or after her shower. She'd complained about stomach problems earlier, but regardless… FML

I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 127

wholeon 0

Sunday 5 April 2009 23:30

I have my doubts about this one. 1. Many bathroom windows don't open, and even i they do, they are way too small to crawl out of. 2. Are we supposed to believe that a girl crawled out the window of your home and left buck-ass naked? Wouldn't you know something was up if she collected all her clothes off your floor first? What about her keys/purse/etc? 3. Why wouldn't she just go out the door? This just makes no sense...

SoBlonde_fml 0

Sunday 5 April 2009 23:26

Wow, she actually used the window. She didn't take the front door route. That's intense.

Comments

playful2088 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 1:34

you must've been either really small. i'm sorry dude. wow i'm gonna have to use the bathroom excuse sometime.

mastermadman 0

Friday 17 April 2009 9:24

Think of it this way: Maybe you just had sex with a secret government spy and she had to leave quick to save the world.

sash_fml 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 4:55

damn you're that bad? LMAO @ #9

devil777 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 5:20

u douche u went into a girls restroom to look for her, freak.

ProvocaTeurzz 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 11:05

Regarding the issue of whether it's likely the bathroom window was of the opening/closing variety ; if there is just one room in anyone's home to have this option, this would be it. I find it more intriguing that your choice of partner for spectacularly poor sex was able to fit through the opening ( I'll refrain from making the lame ass joke that occurs to me at this point).... I now have formed the mental image of your neighbours being confronted with the sight of a random,pissed off,naked & dishevelled midget running at some speed from your address. Is there a FML arrest story to follow?

bigkev 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 18:39

DAMN YOU MUST BE THAT BAD FOR HER TO USE THE WINDOW....SHE COULD HAVE JUST LAUGHED IN YOUR FACE AND THEN LEFT. BUT MAYBE SHE DID THAT BEFORE AND GOT BEAT UP OR SOMETHING....

EariSeid 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 23:14

Is it possible that she just decided it was a bad idea to have sex with a guy she just met and left because of it? No need to insult someone. You never know the other side of the story.