Intimacy: Sex is out the window

Sex is out the window

By dfhgblsf - 05/04/2009 19:15 - United States

Today, I was having sex with a girl I had just met. After about five minutes in, she said she had to go to the bathroom, so we stopped and she left the room. After waiting around ten minutes, I decided to check if she was OK. The window was open. She was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108 678

You deserved it 36 604

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Mood breaker

By Anonymous - 01/10/2021 06:30 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, I was having sexy time with my girlfriend when she said she needed to pee. She came back 5 minutes later and started talking about how she hasn't seen her best friend in ages and misses her. Needless to say, I couldn't get the man downstairs back up when we continued. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 090

You deserved it 188

By Lo - 25/10/2008 16:56

Today, I went to see a movie with the girl I've liked for months. After the commercials, she told me she had to go to the ladies room. She never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 798

You deserved it 4 709

Can't win

By Anonymous - 24/09/2019 22:00

Today, I was in the mood for morning sex, but my wife told me to go wank it off in the bathroom. Three minutes later I was mid-wank when she started banging on the door because I was taking too long, and she needed to pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 160

You deserved it 363

By coolhand - 29/08/2009 15:13 - United States

Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 514

You deserved it 67 441

Escape route

By crap - 26/03/2009 08:37 - Thailand

Today, I went out with this girl I really liked and she came back to my place. Things were heating up and we ended up having sex. I was on top and really into it but in the middle of it she held up her wrist and said, "Huh, look at the time, I gotta get home." She wasn't wearing a watch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 747

You deserved it 17 915

By Anonymous - 14/03/2013 16:59 - Germany - Dortmund

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 730

You deserved it 10 556

Get on with it

By KaRaSu - 22/11/2008 12:24 - France

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 914

You deserved it 7 113

Quickie

By Anonymous - 11/02/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, when my boyfriend came over he was on his phone. We spent about 15 minutes together before having sex, then he made a phone call and said he had to leave. I could hear him from my window apologising to his coworker because he “just had to do something real quick but was now free to talk again.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 158

Fast and Furious

By Anonymous - 02/03/2020 01:00

Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 1 782

Dirty sex

By Anonymous - 20/11/2022 06:00 - Canada - Burlington

Today, I was in my girlfriend's room when she walked in after getting out of the shower, wearing just a towel. She removed it and I was inches away from going down on her when I noticed she hadn’t wiped properly, either before or after her shower. She'd complained about stomach problems earlier, but regardless… FML

I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 127

wholeon 0

Sunday 5 April 2009 23:30

I have my doubts about this one. 1. Many bathroom windows don't open, and even i they do, they are way too small to crawl out of. 2. Are we supposed to believe that a girl crawled out the window of your home and left buck-ass naked? Wouldn't you know something was up if she collected all her clothes off your floor first? What about her keys/purse/etc? 3. Why wouldn't she just go out the door? This just makes no sense...

SoBlonde_fml 0

Sunday 5 April 2009 23:26

Wow, she actually used the window. She didn't take the front door route. That's intense.

Comments

swkisses5 0

Saturday 6 February 2010 15:40

this sounds like some shit they would use in a family guy episode on meg lmfao

bulll_crap 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 7:03

that what happen when u have a small dick

Corneliu99 0

Saturday 18 September 2010 5:26

Lie

NightSkyx 0

Thursday 7 October 2010 21:15

it make sense... If your a ninja!

valri3 0

Wednesday 20 October 2010 3:16

LMAO she gave you AIDS

cindayy77 0

Monday 7 February 2011 19:23

#6, her clothes might've been in the bathroom

Kittcatz38 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 6:33

she probably was wearing clothes..if he has anyone that lives with him she wouldnt want to walk to the bathroom naked

bobsters 0

Thursday 2 February 2012 18:51

That's crazy....

newmandotcom 6

Monday 30 April 2012 11:48

Lies!!!! You can't even last 15 seconds let alone 5 minutes.

jmrico 0

Tuesday 29 May 2012 21:15

I'm kinda stingy with my favors , but I hate hurting feelings so this one time me and this guy were making out and he thought he was going to get some but I told him to get A condom which were in the other room (and I knew this) He left and I never ran so fast out the front door before, clothes in hand and dressed behind some cars in the parking lot. It was night time thank God, called a friend to come get me and while hiding heard the guy scream up and down the parking lot for me. Turned out he thought i thought he was raping me and I was going to call the cops, lmao! Good times, good times :)