Sex and Miscellaneous: Sexy time

Sexy time

By Anonymous - 05/08/2009 05:25 - United States

Today, a friend and I drove all the way from Texas to a small town in Colorado to spend an entire uninterrupted night together. Not only did he forget to bring condoms but everything was closed by the time we got into town. We ended up playing cards on the bed instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 449

You deserved it 46 011

Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/11/2009 22:18 - United States

Today, driving home, my girlfriend and I decided we were finally going to have sex. We got in the backseat, then I opened my condom to find it was already broken. We ended up playing connect four instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 735

You deserved it 5 684

Cockblocked

By AudreyUs - 10/12/2008 19:31 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had the house to ourselves. We started getting a little frisky when we discovered we out of condoms. After a quick run to the store, we found ourselves locked out of the house. Now we have condoms, but no way to use them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 719

You deserved it 18 487

By Grace - 17/10/2018 03:00

Today, I drove over 3 hours to hook up with a guy I've been talking to for a couple of months. When we start having sex, he lasted less than a minute, and then couldn't get it up again afterwards. I slept uncomfortably the entire night on his twin bed while he snored. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 532

You deserved it 1 375

This is awkward, guys

By Username - 19/06/2011 18:08 - United States

Today, I went camping with my girlfriend and best friend. They are now having blood-curdling sex in our tent. My friend is also my ride home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 277

You deserved it 7 452

The best laid plans…

By A drunk walks into a bar and says NO SEX TONIGHT - 22/07/2022 16:00

Today, while trying to spice up our marriage, we decided to get a hotel room and roleplay as strangers who meet in a bar and have a one night stand. By the time I got there, he was engrossed in the football and on the beer. He didn't notice me arrive and when he did, he was too drunk to get the roleplay right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 507

You deserved it 295

MAKE IT STOOOOOP!

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 05:14 - United States

Today, for my mom's birthday, we went camping. At night, my mom and her boyfriend decided to have "Birthday Sex" because they thought everyone was asleep. Trying to not make it awkward for me and my friend that I brought along, I kept still. Soon, I heard my friend going to town on herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 662

You deserved it 5 066

Where are you?

By LongDriveNoSleep - 24/05/2016 10:38 - United States - Washington

Today, my friend, who I'm moving in with, flew up to drive from Pennsylvania to Texas, where she lives, with me. I went to the airport to pick her up and we discovered she accidentally flew to the wrong airport. On the other side of the state. I'm driving through the night to rescue her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 149

You deserved it 1 357

By onething - 08/07/2009 17:06 - United States

Today, my boyfriend picked me up to come spend the night at his house, and on the way he started pulling over to get some condoms. I told him no need, I was on my period. He turned the car around and took me home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 888

You deserved it 17 945

By angry - 22/06/2010 07:47 - Australia

Today, I went camping with my husband. We drove 11 hours to his favourite site before he remembered he didn't put the tent in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 507

You deserved it 5 949

Long haul

By sandwhiched - 01/01/2015 08:52 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I went on a roadtrip with my boyfriend and his best friend. What I thought was going to be a great, fun time ended up with me alone in a car with two large men who wouldn't stop farting for 14 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 747

You deserved it 4 848

HuskyButt 0

Wednesday 5 August 2009 15:58

I just wonder why someone wants sex with "a friend". And yeah, like #2 said, there ways to have fun without condoms.

diemoelol 0

Wednesday 5 August 2009 15:51

Awww, haha. That's actually kind of sweet to me.

Comments

davidtheday 0

Wednesday 5 August 2009 19:02

Funny how everyone says the OP should have done anal. You can still get pregnant from anal sex. Semen leaks out of orifices, and given its close proximity to the ****** during anal sex, the possibility is very real. As real as pre-cum getting someone pregnant. And pre-cum, by the way, usually only contains sperm if a man has ejaculated recently. Look it up.

cmac86 23

Wednesday 5 August 2009 19:05

that was a sign not to have sex.

justchillin_fml 0

Wednesday 5 August 2009 19:06

you brought cards but not condoms? way to think of the important stuff

CFR 0

Wednesday 5 August 2009 19:06

Like everyone else seems to be saying, why depend on the guy for condoms? Most guys hate (HATE) them. Maybe buy your own box for next time. Just in case.

4ube_fml 6

Wednesday 5 August 2009 19:07

"You can still get pregnant from anal sex" That's bullshit. It's like saying you can get pregnant by oral sex or getting HIV by holding hands. But (and that's important' you can have std by having anal or oral sex. However it's good not to do anything if you don't have a condom. However i do not understand why drive that much to have sex

ruby437 0

Thursday 6 August 2009 5:46

Dude, you can get pregnant from anal. It's not as likely as if a man ejaculated in your ******, but still a very real possibility. Like the above poster said, it drips out and the asshole and ****** are very close to each other.

tgabe2 0

Wednesday 5 August 2009 19:11

This FML SUCKS pretty gay. It is call the Plan B Pill

Nightfallz 0

Wednesday 5 August 2009 19:16

this is either fake or the op is a retard. who drives from Texas to colorado to spend a single night together? ydi for not bringing your own condoms. get a hotel room next time in your own city.

spaceranger33 0

Wednesday 5 August 2009 19:20

Wow, you must have a great friendship if you're bored out of your mind with each other when not having sex...

blueworld_fml 0

Wednesday 5 August 2009 19:26

Men always bring the condoms. Period. Friend/Man/Manfriend fail. Also, I don't know where in the hell you came from or went to, but it's pretty hard to getting from Texas to Colorado without passing through A MAJOR CITY WITH, UHH, A ******* GAS STATION, complete with ATM and RACKS UPON RACKS of condoms. Stop, pull over, purchase and continue on to the FuckFest. You don't even have to turn off the engine. Finally, if you live far enough west in Texas, I'd have just gone to Vegas baby.