Intimacy: Smooth talkin' dude

Smooth talkin' dude

By Anonymous - 12/11/2010 01:48 - Canada

Today, I realized the nicest thing my fiancé has said to me all month was that I have "very suckable titties." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 910

You deserved it 5 886

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Same thing different taste

By PlayboyBunny - 19/02/2011 07:20 - United States

Today, the sweetest thing my boyfriend ever told me was that I'd make a good porn star. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 634

You deserved it 8 640

Classy

By Username - 07/06/2011 06:51 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear, "It's not gonna suck itself." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 979

You deserved it 13 039

By redlips - 09/11/2010 18:06 - Japan

Today, I asked my fiancé what he liked most about being in a relationship with me. His answer? "I can watch your boobs without being called a perv." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 383

You deserved it 7 415

By Anonymous - 27/10/2010 06:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were snuggling and telling eachother nice things. The nicest thing he could think of to say to me was "Well, I see you shaved your mustache." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 693

You deserved it 6 405

By Anonymous - 24/08/2010 07:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend compared my boobs to a flat tire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 418

You deserved it 7 163

By Sharibabi65 - 07/03/2012 06:16 - United States

Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I guess that's as good as it's going to get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 454

You deserved it 6 852

By Snufflopagus - 01/01/2014 13:26 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, my boyfriend told me that sometimes my nipples taste like onions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 505

You deserved it 10 596

By Anonymous - 08/09/2015 22:33 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I told my boyfriend about how I'm self-conscious about my B-cup breasts. About 20 minutes later, he pointed to another girl with a small chest and said, "See, you're not the only one with small tits!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 884

You deserved it 2 895

By Joe - 08/07/2011 18:48 - United States

Today, I realized that I look sexier in my fiancée's panties than she does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 719

You deserved it 22 421

By Chipper - 09/08/2018 03:50

Today, my girlfriend and I were laying in bed. She rolled over and began rubbing my chest. She then said, "Wow babe those are a solid B-cup." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 690

You deserved it 905

aznbitch 0

Friday 12 November 2010 9:05

HAHAHHAHA win

marinus_fml 19

Friday 12 November 2010 9:10

The nicest thing? I don't know what could have been any nicer?

Comments

mouxouxou 11

Friday 12 November 2010 17:36

I really want an invitation to this wedding.Can u imagine?When he says ''I,do'' he will actually answering to your boobs?Lovely...

jleisurely69 0

Friday 12 November 2010 19:23

gonna need 2 suc it 4 myself

someone234 5

Friday 12 November 2010 19:55

when's my turn?

DeathHead 0

Friday 12 November 2010 20:44

what's wrong with that. be better if he said u didn't? And he wad going elsewhere to fond some?

Buchitoo 4

Friday 12 November 2010 20:50

mikul 0

Friday 12 November 2010 22:25

well atleast it's nice ytd :)

Nefertiti78 0

Saturday 13 November 2010 2:07

He's only the singing voice...the very gay BD Wong is his speaking voice. Sooooo, yea, not lookin good on either spectrum...lol

LaFHlax 0

Saturday 13 November 2010 3:35

take it as a good thing!! :)

persimmon 0

Saturday 13 November 2010 3:39

why would you marry such a worthless piece of trash that talks to you like that..at best? you obv have terrible taste in men. ydi.

proski 0

Saturday 13 November 2010 5:25

let him suck your *******

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The Top

Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 203

You deserved it 17 042

Today, it's the first day of my two-week stay at my in-laws' house. They forbid drinking, smoking, cursing, and anything even remotely sexual. I smuggled in my quietest toy to keep me sane in this holy house. If only I hadn't forgotten to bring the battery pack too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 967

You deserved it 29 847

The Top

Today, in algebra, I took out my notebook. My Chinese teacher was so impressed with my "Chinese" writings on the cover that I'm now her "favorite student". Those "Chinese" symbols are actually Japanese, but I wanted someone to like me so badly that I didn't correct her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 312

You deserved it 5 638

Today, while mowing my backyard, I messily discovered that a family of rabbits has been living out there in the tall grass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 085

You deserved it 5 692

Today, my manager gave me hell for leaving the restaurant early yesterday. Guilty as charged, but only because I was rushed to the hospital after going into diabetic shock. This assmunch is convinced that I either faked it all to get off work early, or that I'd been eating our own stock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 845

You deserved it 2 365

Today, a guy was telling me how his girlfriend considers me a "perfect beauty." Not used to getting this sort of compliment every day, I felt extremely flattered… until he started explaining in great detail why he couldn't disagree with her more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 953

You deserved it 203

Today, I felt a very sharp pain, like my appendix was going to burst. After going to the doctor, I was rushed to the hospital to get tests done. The doctors later told me there's nothing wrong, I was just constipated. I went to the hospital for them to basically tell me I'm full of shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 514

You deserved it 563

Today, while waiting for the start of a concert, the man behind me decided to pee into a cup. Then the cup tipped over and drained all down my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 608

You deserved it 3 724

Smooth talkin' dude

Same thing different taste

Classy

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