Love, Sex and Intimacy: So romantic

So romantic

By Upbrakie - 12/01/2010 13:09 - United States

Today, I was in the middle of having sex with my girlfriend, and I told her that I loved her. She asked me how much windshield wiper blades cost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 683

You deserved it 3 382

Valentine's Day: Love and Maladresse
Discover romantic anecdotes with a touch of awkwardness - because nothing expresses love better than a little discomfort! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/03/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 970

You deserved it 14 590

By Anonymous - 21/12/2010 17:25 - United Kingdom

Today, I looked deep into my wife's eyes and told her how much I loved her and how much she meant to me. Her reply was, "Clean your glasses." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 644

You deserved it 4 244

The L word

By Anonymous - 26/05/2014 15:53 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 132

You deserved it 7 130

Bad timing

By KrissyBearr - 31/12/2011 01:36 - United States

Today, while having sex, I told my boyfriend that I loved him. I could feel him go soft inside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 422

You deserved it 10 017

By bugger - 22/02/2015 17:31

Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 079

You deserved it 5 181

By suckstobeme - 16/04/2009 18:38 - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend what her favorite quality about me was. Her answer, "Your car." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 145

You deserved it 8 804

By Anonymous - 21/10/2018 16:00 - United States - Trenton

Today, I told my girlfriend I wanted to tell her something important. Coincidentally, she did too. She wanted to tell me that she thinks she's actually gay. I wanted to tell her I love her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 292

You deserved it 246

Fast and Furious

By Anonymous - 02/03/2020 01:00

Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 1 790

By anonymous - 24/06/2009 06:13 - United States

Today, I went to write "Happy Bday, I Love You" on my girlfriend's car windows to surprise her when she woke up. I was the one who got the surprise when I saw her, in her backseat, having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 912

You deserved it 3 733

Get on with it

By KaRaSu - 22/11/2008 12:24 - France

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 927

You deserved it 7 114

skyeyez9 24

Tuesday 12 January 2010 20:52

Wiper blades range anywhere from $15-38 dollars.

Twunt 14

Tuesday 12 January 2010 20:43

Or she loves you so much that you're at that part in your relationship where you talk about errands during sex.

Comments

Mortgaged 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 0:45

as long she ain't cost'n you noth'n, and she is half way decent looking just keep drop'n your load in/on her and dont get hung up on that crap.

cmac86 23

Thursday 14 January 2010 9:39

if she doesn't love you why are you two having sex?

drezman 0

Wednesday 25 May 2011 3:43

lol

ChelseaGrin112 14

Tuesday 1 May 2012 5:18

38, a better year than nowadays.

13thstory 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 22:45

that's great! what is it with women and talking about random stuff during foreplay/sex? someone please explain. I don't think I'm that bad in bed!

iRunWitScissors 0

Friday 21 May 2010 2:54

omg, something like that happened to me but it was a phone convo. although ur situation is like 2 billion times worse, i feel ur pain man. fyl. :P

rachelOMG 0

Friday 24 December 2010 22:04

lol that's horrible sry about that

losmiserables 0

Friday 29 April 2011 1:15

I BELIEVE YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS HINTING AT SOMETHING. LIKE COOKIES.

Superllama12 11

Thursday 29 September 2011 1:14

After all, windshield wipers are EXTREMELY important

TheComedyAudio 29

Sunday 6 October 2013 5:18

That sucks man :

sherry_berryxoxo 17

Monday 29 December 2014 21:26

Lmfaoooo. Damn. That one's a keeper :p

farttard 8

Sunday 6 March 2016 2:19

YDI for saying "I love you" during sex, so tacky.

Keywords

Food Toxic Family Miscellaneous Gross Love Health Valentine's Day Homeowners Home improvement Kids Awkward Drugs Babysitter Music Lonely Crush Wanker Intimacy Relatable Animals Cats Work Coworkers Transportation Airplanes Embarrassing Sleep Mental health Cute

The Top

Today, I found out from a cousin why my older aunts treated me so differently when we were growing up. Apparently, my mom told them that when I was 14, I wanted to use tampons instead of pads. According to their backward, archaic logic, that meant I was sexually active. No wonder they hated me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 440

You deserved it 107

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We were starting to get intimate, and I thought it would be kinky to tie his hands to his bed so he'd be more turned on. Suddenly his mom called us for dinner, but I couldn't untie him fast enough. I had to sit there, embarrassed, while his mom undid the rope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 121

You deserved it 29 836

The Top

Today, my dogs freaked out and started getting violent because they thought the sound of my vibrator was the other's growling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 903

You deserved it 11 622

Today, according to my boyfriend, getting me to orgasm takes so long that about 90% of his mental energy is directed at him trying not to orgasm first, so he never really enjoys himself. When he fails to get me to orgasm, I apparently use the forbidden sex phrase “It's fine” which makes him feel worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 013

You deserved it 667

Today, I attempted to break the record for the heaviest squat in my local gym. A small crowd witnessed me breaking the record as well as releasing a huge fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 845

You deserved it 5 831

Today, I learned to check inside the oven before you preheat it. Sometimes children hide their pet rabbit in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 639

You deserved it 10 031

Today, I was reading my girlfriend's girly magazine. There was an article stating that if a girl tells a guy his dick is the perfect size, she really means that it is too small. My girlfriend claims everything in the magazine is right. She told me my dick was the perfect size last weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 757

You deserved it 8 668

Today, I had a date at a formal restaurant I'm well known at. My date showed up two and a half hours late with a jogging suit on, and then got mad at me for ordering, eating, and paying without him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 828

You deserved it 154