Scary and Miscellaneous: Spooked

Spooked

By Anonymous - 15/11/2010 05:08

Today, I thought my house was being broken into in the dead of night. Frightened, I dismounted a floor lamp as a makeshift weapon and crept through the house, channelling my inner Ellen Ripley. It turned out to be the wireless printer with a paper jam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 799

You deserved it 6 774

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Same thing different taste

By OhaiiKid - 07/03/2010 05:02 - United States

Today, I was home alone. It was very dark and so I went to turn on the lights, when I heard the sound of a gun loading. I dropped to the floor but never heard a gun fire. I got up and heard the sound again. When I got lights on, I discovered it was only my printer telling me it was out of paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 482

You deserved it 26 060

Scaredy cat

By amazinghermit - 25/11/2014 04:21 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I spent an hour in my car terrified to go inside because I thought my house was being burgled. I saw rapid shadows in the light of my lounge. Eventually I plucked up the courage to creep inside with a rock to find it wasn't a robber. It was my cats, fighting in front of a toppled lamp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 194

You deserved it 6 579

Brain fart

By jonjon - 13/06/2010 13:16 - United States

Today, after spending the evening with friends, I went home and realized that the living room light was on. Thinking someone was robbing me, I hid behind a bush. I got impatient and crept up to the door. Then I remembered that I'd left the light on before I left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 961

You deserved it 47 320

Caught

By Anonymous - 25/10/2015 02:47 - United States - Apollo

Today, I woke up to noises in my living room. I was scared, but I loaded my gun and snuck downstairs. I burst into the living room, yelled for the motherfucker robbing me to put his hands up, and flicked on the light. My cat stared back at me like I was a moron then calmly walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 616

You deserved it 7 924

By Anonymous - 03/01/2010 16:35 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling with the lights off. It was 1AM and I'd just finished watching a scary movie so I was a little paranoid. I was about to fall asleep when an eerie light lit the room. I jumped, got tangled in the sheets, and hit my head against the bed frame. Where'd the light come from? Not a space ship. Not someone breaking in. It was my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 562

You deserved it 29 184

Stealth mode

By Slipperywhenwet - 28/02/2009 13:08 - United States

Today, I was stepping out of the shower while home alone. I heard voices coming from the living room. I grabbed a bat to defend myself and ran into the living room. I slipped on my tile floor and smashed my TV with the bat. No one was in my house, but I'd left the radio on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 631

You deserved it 48 170

Locked and loaded

By Anonymous - 30/12/2011 03:07 - China

Today, I left work early, and discovered I was locked out of my house. I subsequently had to use a spoon I found on the ground to smash the bathroom window. I cut my leg on the glass when I climbed through. While inspecting the wound, I felt a lump in my pocket. It was my house key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 196

You deserved it 43 448

Ratatouille

By Anonymous - 16/10/2020 08:02

Today, after my house almost got broken into last week, when I heard some noises in the kitchen I went to investigate. I saw a huge rat run across my floor, and nearly peed myself thinking it was an intruder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003

You deserved it 172

By wheatsnake - 08/10/2009 13:31 - Australia

Today, I took my new laptop into my house from my car, thinking it would be a too much of a target for kids grabbing it. I came home tonight to find my door kicked in, my laptop gone and my TV ripped from the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 177

You deserved it 2 819

Crime scene

By xTRYSOFTx - 07/03/2020 03:00 - United States

Today, I called the police because I thought a burglar had broken into our house. I found out the strange noise was just my dog fucking about, so I smashed a small window and kicked down a door so I wouldn't be embarrassed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 2 191

rhcpalex93 0

Monday 15 November 2010 12:03

hit it anyway!

TK1279 2

Monday 15 November 2010 12:07

Ellen Ripley? ha win

Comments

allmidnighteyes 10

Monday 15 November 2010 12:40

Ellen Ripley? Hahahaha, this made my day.

GoatInABag 14

Friday 18 April 2014 16:06

Haha same

maphineRAWRS 10

Monday 15 November 2010 12:45

I think I would laugh at this a whole lot harder if I knew what Ellen ripley and a make-shift weapon was...

allmidnighteyes 10

Monday 15 November 2010 12:47

So uncultured...

maphineRAWRS 10

Monday 15 November 2010 12:58

haha I know I know.. :(

riseagainst8767x 0

Monday 15 November 2010 16:17

don't worry I don't know who Ellen Ripley is either.

SarahMarie83 0

Tuesday 16 November 2010 1:47

Ellen Ripley was the main character of the Alien movies, played by Sigourney Weaver. Alien vs Predator was a crossover of the franchise and the Predator films. Ripley originally fought the face sucking, chest bursting bastards, in space no less.

maphineRAWRS 10

Tuesday 16 November 2010 1:48

ohhh right :) thankyou for finally explaining it haha :p

habeeboburky94 0

Monday 15 November 2010 12:46

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha this FML made my day.

stevenmx86 7

Monday 15 November 2010 13:01

Wtf why is this on fml? It's good it was a printer not someone breaking in and you didn't make a fool of yourself.. Op sounds like you need a sense of humor..