Family, Awkward and Intimacy: Stay classy

Stay classy

By Anonymous - 30/12/2010 19:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I met my father for the first time since I was a baby. The first comment out of his mouth was, "I bet all the boys love those motherfucking bazongas, don't they?" Hi, Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 786

You deserved it 3 798

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By nacho - 24/01/2012 06:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing he said to him was, "You're an idiot for dating my daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 084

You deserved it 4 338

By meunluckycharms - 14/09/2015 19:54 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I brought a boy home for the first time, only to have my dad ask him what his mother's maiden name was. When he answered, my dad exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I think I dated her in high school. I could be your father!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 677

You deserved it 1 849

By leahrb - 24/02/2016 18:55 - United States - Wilmington

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 345

You deserved it 1 890

Thanks, I hate it

By Anonymous - 13/03/2014 09:34 - Australia

Today, my mother took me to go and see my grandfather, who I hadn't seen since I was 4. The first thing he said to me was, "Pfwoarr, look at those tits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 470

You deserved it 6 201

By coffee_princess - 22/07/2010 23:14 - Canada

Today, my father made his bellybutton talk. In front of my new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 944

You deserved it 4 465

By amore89 - 28/07/2019 12:00

Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 879

You deserved it 243

Yikes!

By Anonymous - 31/08/2010 05:21 - United States

Today, I talked to my boyfriend's dad for the first time. One of the first things that he said to me was, "So, I hear you're a screamer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 253

You deserved it 7 249

Dad jokes, part #23556

By ashamed - 28/10/2019 02:00

Today, I finally let my parents meet a boyfriend of mine for the first time ever. My dad mentioned how he was happy to finally meet him, because for the past 4 years he'd thought I was gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 583

You deserved it 196

By pdub523 - 27/01/2013 05:57 - United States - Longview

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 193

You deserved it 3 814

By cgold - 30/04/2009 02:11 - United States

Today, I met my paternal grandfather for the first time. I’ve spent the last three months tracking him down. I poured my heart out and told about how much this meant to me. He told me I had a nice rack and asked for a cigarette. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 210

You deserved it 8 841

wrgfml 0

Thursday 30 December 2010 23:23

Sorry he was such a jerk. He was probably real nervous and blurted. At least that'sy hope. Congrats on the bazongas.

bummervacation 10

Thursday 30 December 2010 23:23

I think you were better off without that asshole.

Comments

ThatLooksSticky 16

Friday 31 December 2010 5:30

I wish this was one of those FMLs that ended with the OPs age. I'd love to see "I'm 12." at the end of this post. Ha!

x_missystaceey 0

Friday 31 December 2010 5:36

pedophile .

EvilDave 13

Friday 31 December 2010 16:20

If the OP is under 12, then yes, but it is doubtful that a child under 12 will have big ****. If the OP is between 12 and 14, her father might be a hebephile, but again it is doubtful that a child under 12 will have big ****. If the op is between 15 and 18, her father might be a ephebophile. Seeing as he made an inappropriate comment on her anatomy and did not mention having sex with her, he is rude, but not necessarily any of the above.

purityshannon 0

Friday 31 December 2010 6:22

cool dad dude. NOT

Waffle817 0

Friday 31 December 2010 6:38

sounds like you have a great pair of bozongas and would not mind seeing these

forgotten_addict 1

Friday 31 December 2010 6:45

wow what a bitch take a compliment, haha just kidding that sucks I advise you to stay far away from your creepy dad, just saying

allapologiesmygi_fml_fml 4

Friday 31 December 2010 7:43

a new song. sing it to the tune of "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer". Daddy is a perv from the country. he left us when I wad young. You he is only a bit weird. But Mommy and me know he's a creep.

Diablo232 0

Friday 31 December 2010 8:16

at least he's talking to u it could be worse than him noticing ur tats.

taniaaaaa 0

Friday 31 December 2010 8:17

If it was anyone other than your father that said that to you, I would have said to just take it as a compliment and be glad that you have big boobs, but BECAUSE it's your dad that said it. AWKWAAAAAAARRD. o.0 Your dads a creeper hunn.