Family, Awkward and Intimacy: Stay classy - FML

Stay classy

By Anonymous - 30/12/2010 19:23 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I met my father for the first time since I was a baby. The first comment out of his mouth was, "I bet all the boys love those motherfucking bazongas, don't they?" Hi, Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 786

You deserved it 3 798

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Same thing different taste

By nacho - 24/01/2012 06:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing he said to him was, "You're an idiot for dating my daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 084

You deserved it 4 338

By meunluckycharms - 14/09/2015 19:54 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I brought a boy home for the first time, only to have my dad ask him what his mother's maiden name was. When he answered, my dad exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I think I dated her in high school. I could be your father!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 677

You deserved it 1 849

By leahrb - 24/02/2016 18:55 - United States - Wilmington

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 345

You deserved it 1 890

Thanks, I hate it

By Anonymous - 13/03/2014 09:34 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my mother took me to go and see my grandfather, who I hadn't seen since I was 4. The first thing he said to me was, "Pfwoarr, look at those tits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 470

You deserved it 6 201

By coffee_princess - 22/07/2010 23:14 - Canada

Today, my father made his bellybutton talk. In front of my new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 944

You deserved it 4 465

By amore89 - 28/07/2019 12:00

Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 879

You deserved it 243

Yikes!

By Anonymous - 31/08/2010 05:21 - United States

Spicy

Today, I talked to my boyfriend's dad for the first time. One of the first things that he said to me was, "So, I hear you're a screamer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 253

You deserved it 7 249

Dad jokes, part #23556

By ashamed - 28/10/2019 02:00

Today, I finally let my parents meet a boyfriend of mine for the first time ever. My dad mentioned how he was happy to finally meet him, because for the past 4 years he'd thought I was gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 583

You deserved it 196

By pdub523 - 27/01/2013 05:57 - United States - Longview

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 193

You deserved it 3 814

By cgold - 30/04/2009 02:11 - United States

Today, I met my paternal grandfather for the first time. I’ve spent the last three months tracking him down. I poured my heart out and told about how much this meant to me. He told me I had a nice rack and asked for a cigarette. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 210

You deserved it 8 841

Next

Top comments

wrgfml 0

Thursday 30 December 2010 23:23

Sorry he was such a jerk. He was probably real nervous and blurted. At least that'sy hope. Congrats on the bazongas.

bummervacation 10

Thursday 30 December 2010 23:23

I think you were better off without that asshole.

Comments

musiclove1213 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 2:16

can i meet your father?

QueenOfBoredom 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 8:51

haha everyone says he's creepy but that's my kind of humor so I just think that's hilarious

gtrgdss 0

Tuesday 4 January 2011 13:14

omg don't you realize your dad is the most prolific literary genius since Shakespeare??? :/

akaashR 0

Thursday 6 January 2011 14:21

he's got a sense of humor. 10x better than 90% of parents already

claiiire_fml 17

Friday 7 January 2011 23:04

Freudian slip up?

whacko150 0

Friday 14 January 2011 23:47

what pisses me off is that was totally not deserved an yet over 2000 people clicked deserved. **** them

ThePiegonMonkey 4

Tuesday 25 January 2011 5:24

Your dad is a Boss.

X_o_X_ocutie 0

Friday 25 March 2011 11:28

try to avoid him

Blondiebee88 0

Friday 25 March 2011 19:44

well now you know that you really didn't miss out on much of a dad!

OHnathanIO 4

Friday 6 May 2011 4:46

What a pig. Props for the nice rack though ;) lol

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Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Annoying Am I overreacting? Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Teenagers Dogs Animals Gamers Ironic Video games Zoom

The Top

Today, after winning a major photography competition with the prize of an expensive workshop with a top photographer, I learned that my crazy stalker has paid the £250 workshop costs, and will travel 5 hours just to be there with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 315

You deserved it 2 040

Today, I found out that when my best friend and I were kids, our parents would cancel playdates when either of us opted to not go to church. They said it would, "strengthen our faith." We are now both adults and staunch atheists for that reason, and we're spending way more time together to make up for this crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 144

The Top

Today, it was graduation day, and the very first time I was hosting an event. When I got on stage, I stared at the audience for a good 5 seconds, then fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 643

You deserved it 6 169

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I forgot it was her birthday. We had only been dating for 2 weeks. I didn't even know when it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 187

You deserved it 8 234

Today, my husband and I have officially become that couple that has to schedule sex. Between his working, my going back to school, raising kids, doing housework and homework, we just haven’t had time. Last night we tried to be spontaneous and get it on. We both fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 601

You deserved it 252

Today, I watched Free Willy with my daughter. Later on she decided to free her 6 pet mice into the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 766

You deserved it 8 454

Today, 60 guests for my wedding were supposed to arrive to the Bahamas. The first and only hurricane of the season decided to crash my wedding, stranding my mom, maid of honor and best man. No one will be able to attend my wedding, except the other drunken hotel guests. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 262

You deserved it 3 640

Today, my boyfriend stormed out after I suggested to him that his relationship with his mother is maybe a little weird. Apparently having regular, hour-long phone discussions about your penis is a perfectly normal thing for a 23-year-old to have with his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 990

You deserved it 7 509