Health, Movies and Intimacy: Stealthy

Stealthy

By ohdear - 31/10/2011 15:38 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 053

You deserved it 5 371

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Same thing different taste

Scary

By xHoho - 26/11/2013 05:50 - United States - West Fargo

Today, I took my girlfriend to a scary movie, hoping I could comfort her at a scary part. Instead when a scary part came on, she reacted by throwing up all over my lap and the person in front of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 324

You deserved it 8 729

By Nat - 13/09/2014 06:29 - United States - Frisco

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. We were getting into the mood so I tried to eat the popcorn kind of sexually, causing me to choke on the popcorn and throw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 511

You deserved it 18 703

Movie night

By Spanky - 23/01/2009 11:36 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with a friend and her grandma. Her grandma was using toothpicks and dropping them on the ground next to our popcorn bucket. I took a big handful of popcorn, and was fortunate enough to get a piece of her toothpick lodged in my throat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 753

You deserved it 2 523

By Anonymous - 11/07/2010 18:18 - United States

Today, I was at the movies with my boyfriend when I really had to pee. I tried to get out of the aisle in a hurry so I wouldn't disturb anyone when I tripped, landing on the people in the row in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 735

You deserved it 5 470

Popped

By regected - 30/08/2009 12:19 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with the girl I liked. She kept on eating my popcorn so I whispered in her ear, "Pretty soon your going to have to repay me with kisses." Then she looked at me and walked out the theatre. She came back with a bucket of popcorn and said, "Here, you're repaid." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 831

You deserved it 45 465

By Nick - 22/05/2018 01:30

Today, my girlfriend and I went to see a horror movie. It ended up scaring her so badly that she refused to leave our bed all night long, even to pee. I have to clean the mattress now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 876

You deserved it 758

Why would you stick that there?

By Co-B - 03/09/2009 20:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 880

You deserved it 61 059

By a man - 13/07/2013 13:20 - United States - Houston

Today, my girlfriend and I were at the movies. When the "love scene" came on, she leaned over and made out with the wrong man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 281

You deserved it 5 388

Jump scare

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was watching a horror movie with my girlfriend. Suddenly, the killer jumped on screen. My girlfriend screamed. I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 052

You deserved it 14 019

Romantic move

By soomeone - 16/02/2010 19:28 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 681

You deserved it 25 654

ndnpride88 25

Monday 31 October 2011 18:01

Man that's disgusting

instnt1nfction 17

Monday 31 October 2011 18:01

Like a ninja

Comments

skittless1369 4

Wednesday 2 November 2011 1:44

That's Disgusting...

BieberFever584_fml 0

Wednesday 2 November 2011 2:33

First of all, she is disgusting!! Ur suppose to do that in the Bathroom! Second, Why would u even watch???!!!!

mheard546 5

Wednesday 2 November 2011 3:31

That's skill right there!

kittenelaine 0

Wednesday 2 November 2011 3:39

Doesn't get any lazier than that. Safe to assume she's never washed her hands, ever.

imratedG 5

Wednesday 2 November 2011 3:42

what the... o___o" I can't believe someone would actually do that...

Lolathacontrola 0

Wednesday 2 November 2011 3:43

what a complete load of crap. made up for sure!!

escadoo 3

Wednesday 2 November 2011 3:55

That takes serious skill

Amazinggx23 0

Wednesday 2 November 2011 4:21

& youre still with her?

itschrisssybro 8

Wednesday 2 November 2011 4:28

Damn, what was she thinking? Gross!

itschrisssybro 8

Wednesday 2 November 2011 4:30

Aw, posted a triple threat.... Oh the joy!

itschrisssybro 8

Wednesday 2 November 2011 4:28

Damn, what was she thinking? Gross!

Keywords

Holidays Miscellaneous Family Thanksgiving Politics Transportation AITA Am I overreacting? Cars Contraception Love Suspicious Cheating Pregnancy Christmas Scary Sex Awkward Weddings Embarrassing Singing My ex Jealousy Friends Health Poopoo peepee Relatable Therapy Mental health Covid

The Top

Today, my daughter came home in tears, completely distraught. It took half an hour to convince her to tell me what was wrong. What horrific thing happened to her? One of her friends wore the same outfit as her to the movies, and apparently that's a betrayal of their friendship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 924

You deserved it 4 073

Here's the latest video from our friends at 10secondtraumas.com, enjoy! Kay Akana, co-founder of 10secondtraumas.com, is also a stand-up comedian in LA. Do go and check out her performances, she did manage to make us lot laugh! ...

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 33

The Top

Today, my wife is so determined to keep me on my diet that, as I'm off work for the next week, she has gotten rid of all the food in the house. She has also taken the phones and iPads so I can't order a takeaway, and taken all my trousers so I can't walk to the shops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 636

You deserved it 2 543

Today, I was called handsome. Too bad it was coming from a trashed homeless lady, who then went on to tell me that she likes my lips and wants to rape me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 461

You deserved it 4 202

Today, I went to visit my mom and my 3-month-old sister. I picked the baby up, totally unaware that she had just eaten. As I went to give her a kiss, she vomited straight into my mouth. Let's just say she wasn't the only one who puked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 935

You deserved it 3 081

Today, my mom noticed the hickey that I have on my neck. Embarrassed, I tried convincing her that I burnt myself using a hair straightener. She then told me that that's the same excuse she told my grandma when she got a hickey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 916

You deserved it 47 007

Today, I was so lonely I called my stalker ex-boyfriend. He was too busy to talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 407

You deserved it 4 346

Today, I told my parents that I wanted to donate blood. My dad helpfully interjected, "Sorry, they don't accept blood from gingers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 014

You deserved it 8 360

Stealthy

Same thing different taste

Scary

Movie night

Popped

Why would you stick that there?

Jump scare

Romantic move

Top comments

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