Money, Health and Smells: Stinky pits

Stinky pits

By shakinmahbuttbutt - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it's been two weeks since my parents went crazy with their attempts to save on the water bill. Every time I want to take a shower, I have to ask them first. Let's just say I've had to resort to taking sponge baths in public bathrooms to keep my B.O. under control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 867

You deserved it 4 567

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Same thing different taste

Close encounters

By Pinkie - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 294

You deserved it 2 718

Surprising

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 20:00

Today, my younger sister had some friends over at ours. I was in the shower but was horrified to realize my clothes and towel were gone. Figuring that she took them, I tried to make it to my room without being seen, but one of her friends came up to use the bathroom. She saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 108

You deserved it 311

Hard times

By psychopumpkin - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Boston

Today, I'm so strapped for cash that I smuggled toilet paper out of my mother's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 677

You deserved it 7 462

Piss poor prank

By peedonme - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - New Zealand

Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet, sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 276

You deserved it 2 954

The smell test

By sosadstudent - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Netherlands

Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 107

You deserved it 4 462

Caturday surprise!

By keeperstride - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with an infection, swollen nuts, and a hole in my butt for which I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 819

You deserved it 72 189

Thanks for the info

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 851

You deserved it 636

By Bareassed - 29/07/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, I was at a water park with my family. They wanted me to stand underneath this big bucket filled with water. I didn't know it tips over, and my swimsuit isn't the tightest, so when all the water fell down, my swimsuit bottoms fell to my knees in front of tons of kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 625

You deserved it 12 947

Weird flex, but OK

By Anon - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I actually took pleasure in sniffing my armpits after two days of not showering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 352

You deserved it 42 192

Well done!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job Mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 613

You deserved it 5 047

Gixie 25

Monday 13 January 2014 1:21

Shakin your butt butt probably isn't going to help with your BO.

Omfgitsmia 15

Monday 13 January 2014 1:20

Almost sounds like my mom these days. Maybe shower at a friends?

Comments

weveallbeenthere 30

Tuesday 14 January 2014 4:42

I can almost understand the parents. I have 3 teens who constantly use up 60 gallons of hot water a night. I thought about putting a water timer on so they only get 8-10 minutes each.

fergnasty 14

Tuesday 14 January 2014 6:18

#17 and #110 thank you for proving insanity by wasting 50k+ on an udderly useless major. Unless you get a phd get used to the phrase "welcome to (McDonald's/ Walmart/ Target/ Burger King) how can I help you?"

eksyneet 23

Tuesday 14 January 2014 9:39

#136, i'm getting a phd. but, thankfully, free university education exists in my country.

MarineWife3112 5

Tuesday 14 January 2014 14:48

I lived with a family that had to do this because they didn't use city water. So I started using the showers at the Gym I had membership to. It got me working out and I was squeaky clean everyday.

sanecatlady 13

Tuesday 14 January 2014 18:42

People are gonna freak, but I only shower or bathe every second day. I don't get dirty and smelly easily and my skin and hair don't dry out as much during the winter. Unlike normal women I really cannot stand to slather on all those gunky, smelly moisturizing lotions that make my skin feel really nasty.

blackonblight 32

Thursday 16 January 2014 17:14

I do the same. A washcloth dipped in warm water to clean off the areas that get sweaty is all I really need most days, I shower based on when my hair starts to seem a bit oily. A couple times a week. So long as you can get underarms, back of knees, and groin, you tend to be fine if you aren't someone who does dirty work. That's like two cups of water.

megcarpy 19

Wednesday 15 January 2014 0:47

Painterlily 8

Wednesday 15 January 2014 8:55

Just stop showering for a few days. Then spend a day in close proximity to them so they get the full effect of your "atmosphere." I'm sure they will get the message and change their tune real quick.