Sex, Texting and Intimacy: Stop - FML

Stop

By dad - 03/03/2009 22:28 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year-old daughter texted me from her room, "Stop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 368

You deserved it 83 165

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Revelations

By ed5509 - 25/12/2021 22:59 - United States - Chesapeake

Today, I received a text from a man my wife had an affair with, in which he stated that my 18 year-old daughter is biologically his. He then sent me pictures of her that my wife had sent to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 607

You deserved it 110

By MGZ - 19/10/2009 02:33 - United States

Today, I told my 13 year-old daughter that she was grounded from using her phone. Later on, I get an important call regarding a job that I have been after. After I'd picked up the phone, my daughter starts screaming, "HELP! RAPE! HELP!" on the other phone. I don't think I'll be getting the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 389

You deserved it 8 584

By Noname - 06/03/2009 19:04 - United States

Spicy

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488 249

You deserved it 106 775

By OhFseriously123 - 06/08/2009 10:05 - Italy

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 554

You deserved it 13 642

By Oops54321 - 28/09/2009 07:12 - France

Spicy

Today, I was feeling really horny. I decided to send dirty texts to my girlfriend. I sent the first and she didn't reply, so I sent more and more and then I got one back saying 'Stay away from my little girl.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 724

You deserved it 33 262

By angrymother - 27/07/2016 01:21

Spicy

Today, I caught my 20 year old daughter having sex with my best friend's husband. Apparently it's my fault for coming home early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 821

You deserved it 1 732

By Anonymous - 10/07/2013 16:38 - United States - Spencer

Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 483

You deserved it 8 345

All kinds of wrong

By Anonymous - 10/04/2024 14:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had my girlfriend over after my wife went to work. She looked so sexy in her outfit, I couldn’t resist. I ripped her clothes off and began to do her on my couch… until I heard my daughter’s voice asking, “Dad, who’s that?” Apparently, she was home sick from school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 1 585

Disrespectful

By awskme - 09/01/2010 00:36 - France

Spicy

Today, I was having passionate sex with my girlfriend of nine months. She was making a lot of noise, so I told her to keep it down, and reminded her that my parents and sister downstairs. A few minutes later, I got a text from my sister, saying my parents wanted to make sure I was wearing a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 850

You deserved it 29 099

By aprouddaddy - 04/12/2014 23:46 - France - Paris

Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 832

You deserved it 6 586

Next

Top comments

MissFae 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 9:53

Why are you checking texts in the middle of sex? We're gonna see your wife posting here next...

Edmund_Dantes 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 9:41

"in a minute!"

Comments

pinkantennas 0

Monday 9 March 2009 10:30

BEST DAUGHTER EVER.

superjudge 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 14:06

"You didn't say the magic word, bitch. STFU noob kthxbai"

Nicolai_Tansy 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 21:50

lol. you deserved it. i hate it when my parents do that. and i wish i could tell them to stop. now, i know how. thank you.

vampire_fetish15 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 22:58

oh my ****** goth! are you sick or what? doing that in front of the poor girl. man, at least wait til you and your bitch is alone. seriously. *shakes head* dude...

maiden_girl 5

Friday 13 March 2009 12:50

LOL @ #4!

squeaky_fml 0

Sunday 15 March 2009 2:08

You owe your wife an apology for answering your phone during sex. And, you should punish your daughter. It's your house and you can do what you want in your own room. Remind her that, #1 she would not exist if you guys didn't have sex, and #2, would she rather you didn't have a good sex life and ended up getting divorced?

xxdani 0

Monday 16 March 2009 0:12

I don't get why everyones calling this daughter a spoiled brat and a bitch? you guys aren't quick to judge a person or anything? maybe it was a little insensitive for the girl to text back "stop" but still, its a little awkward hearing your parents have sex, how many of you want to listen to your parents have sex?

xxdani 0

Monday 16 March 2009 0:15

whoops sorry i didnt mean to use the word "everyone" i know not everyones saying that sorry

Kaze12 0

Monday 16 March 2009 1:41

your disgusting!!!!! do that when she cant hear you!!!!!

redheadedbeauty 0

Monday 16 March 2009 6:48

LOL @ # 4, hahahh.

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The Top

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 8 929

You deserved it 671

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I agree, your life sucks 2 304

You deserved it 206

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I agree, your life sucks 5 487

You deserved it 663

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I agree, your life sucks 755

You deserved it 207

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I agree, your life sucks 4 598

You deserved it 213

Today, I asked my boyfriend what celebrity I look like. He thought long and hard, then said "Sarah Jessica Parker." I gasped and told him that I find her extremely hideous. He replied "So do I." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 428

You deserved it 8 903