Sex, Texting and Intimacy: Stop - FML

Stop

By dad - 03/03/2009 22:28 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year-old daughter texted me from her room, "Stop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 368

You deserved it 83 165

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Same thing different taste

Revelations

By ed5509 - 25/12/2021 22:59 - United States - Chesapeake

Today, I received a text from a man my wife had an affair with, in which he stated that my 18 year-old daughter is biologically his. He then sent me pictures of her that my wife had sent to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 607

You deserved it 110

By MGZ - 19/10/2009 02:33 - United States

Today, I told my 13 year-old daughter that she was grounded from using her phone. Later on, I get an important call regarding a job that I have been after. After I'd picked up the phone, my daughter starts screaming, "HELP! RAPE! HELP!" on the other phone. I don't think I'll be getting the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 389

You deserved it 8 584

By Noname - 06/03/2009 19:04 - United States

Spicy

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488 249

You deserved it 106 775

By OhFseriously123 - 06/08/2009 10:05 - Italy

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 554

You deserved it 13 642

By Oops54321 - 28/09/2009 07:12 - France

Spicy

Today, I was feeling really horny. I decided to send dirty texts to my girlfriend. I sent the first and she didn't reply, so I sent more and more and then I got one back saying 'Stay away from my little girl.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 724

You deserved it 33 262

By angrymother - 27/07/2016 01:21

Spicy

Today, I caught my 20 year old daughter having sex with my best friend's husband. Apparently it's my fault for coming home early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 821

You deserved it 1 732

By Anonymous - 10/07/2013 16:38 - United States - Spencer

Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 483

You deserved it 8 345

All kinds of wrong

By Anonymous - 10/04/2024 14:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had my girlfriend over after my wife went to work. She looked so sexy in her outfit, I couldn’t resist. I ripped her clothes off and began to do her on my couch… until I heard my daughter’s voice asking, “Dad, who’s that?” Apparently, she was home sick from school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 1 585

Disrespectful

By awskme - 09/01/2010 00:36 - France

Spicy

Today, I was having passionate sex with my girlfriend of nine months. She was making a lot of noise, so I told her to keep it down, and reminded her that my parents and sister downstairs. A few minutes later, I got a text from my sister, saying my parents wanted to make sure I was wearing a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 850

You deserved it 29 099

By aprouddaddy - 04/12/2014 23:46 - France - Paris

Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 832

You deserved it 6 586

Next

Top comments

MissFae 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 9:53

Why are you checking texts in the middle of sex? We're gonna see your wife posting here next...

Edmund_Dantes 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 9:41

"in a minute!"

Comments

Jman1906 2

Wednesday 13 May 2009 20:09

#104 that isn't scarring no, but for me that would freak me out. Thank god my parents are divorced!

zmiddz 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 7:10

LOL at #4.

silly_kate 0

Sunday 14 June 2009 11:08

i would do the same if i could hear my parents! parents; it's disturbing to hear you guys doing it! can you at least try it when no one's home or maybe when we're asleep? would make it a lot less traumatising!

c3ns0r3dn4m3 0

Friday 26 June 2009 5:47

ROFL @ 1,2,4, 5, 6. WTF @ #13 ahaha. and ROFLROFLROFLROFL I LOVE YOU NUMBER #164 !

EvilAngelAshley 3

Tuesday 30 June 2009 20:17

Lmfao to #164... I've had the same kid of thing... My godfather is a friend on my FB and it said my godfather was a fan of Morning Sex and asked if I wanted to join... Im scarred for life. There are just some things you REALLY dont need to know about your family...

gonaners16 4

Saturday 4 July 2009 6:40

lmfao she shoulda called u. thats what i did. repeatedly. =P

wiifan013 9

Monday 17 August 2009 0:45

Ok all these people talking about boundaries and minding your own business. well how would you like it if your parents were doing it in the room next to you and you could her everything. wait untill your kids are out of the house which sometimes is alot

wiifan013 9

Monday 17 August 2009 1:04

Also at least not do it in the room right beside hers or atleast try to be quiet about it

youre_all_idiots 0

Sunday 23 August 2009 1:34

try not ******* your wife while your kids home

LaccrossePlaya96 0

Monday 24 August 2009 20:54

wow bro, **** HER life.

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The Top

Today, after talking to a guy for a month, he finally came over and I totally thought sex with him was going to be amazing. Unfortunately, I did all the work and I didn’t even cum, but he did, then he had the nerves to ask me how it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 985

You deserved it 400

Today, while in my room on the computer, I had a sudden urge to pee. I got up to use the loo and started hearing some disturbing noises from inside. Apparently I was so quiet my parents thought I was gone and decided to have sex in the shower. It's been an hour and my bladder is about to burst. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 534

You deserved it 3 261

The Top

Today, I was texted by a number that their "date" had given them. I replied that they'd got the wrong number. She then sent me a picture of herself and started flirting. I was suspicious about this, so I ran her photo through Google image finder. Her "photo" is apparently used by scammers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 100

Today, I'm spending the night with the guy I've been interested in for a while. Instead of sleeping in the same bed together, he insists that I sleep in another room because he "doesn't want to be tempted to do anything." So, I'm alone, in my best lingerie, in his little brother's room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 603

You deserved it 8 588

Today, my drug addict of a roommate convinced herself my red kitten was Pennywise the clown in disguise waiting to kill her, and hit him over the head with a pan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 185

You deserved it 5 518

Today, my 17 year old asked me whether to chew or swallow grapes. I raised this dumbass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 385

You deserved it 18 661

Today, while waxing my bikini line, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me which caused me to close my legs. I am now sitting in the sink with my best friend pouring hot water "down there" trying to remove the wax. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 570

You deserved it 4 663

Today, it's my birthday. I am a triplet. In my first class, everyone sang happy birthday to my sister. Her friends got her balloons too. My other sister's friends got her flowers. Everyone forgot I was their sister and all of my own friends forgot that it was my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 009

You deserved it 293