Love: Surprise!

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 28/03/2009 19:42 - United States

Today, I came home a few days early from a 3-month business trip. As I opened my apartment door, hoping to surprise my girlfriend, the man she's apparently been cheating on me with promptly punched me in the face. He thought I was a burglar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 604

You deserved it 5 373

St. Patrick's Day: Shamrocks and Tribulations
Green anecdotes of jealousy, full of shamrocks and pints, for a memorable St. Patrick's Day! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Kyokushin - 03/06/2009 14:15 - United States

Today, I came home from work when I heard people in my apartment. My apartment was supposed to be empty, so I entered ready to fight some thieves. I rushed in and hit the closest person to me before the lights switched on. It was a surprise party. I broke my girlfriend's cheek-bone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 951

You deserved it 20 204

By OhDamn - 16/09/2009 06:34 - United Kingdom

Today, there was a knock at my door, and I was greeted by a punch to the face. The man was the extremely angry "fiancé" of the girl I've been married to for just over a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 016

You deserved it 3 008

Who are you?

By NotlovingAgain - 14/03/2022 06:00

Today, knowing my long-distance boyfriend was cheating on me with a local girl, I decided to make a surprise visit to confront him by showing up to his home. Both of them answered the door. My boyfriend claimed to not know me, and threatened to call the cops. I ended up back at the airport in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 637

You deserved it 461

By Ari - 16/06/2011 04:19 - United States

Today, a man came up to me and punched me in the face. He turned out to be the guy my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with. Apparently, she told him we broke up because I used to beat her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 896

You deserved it 3 723

By king400 - 25/11/2012 08:09 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I found out my girlfriend of 3 years has been cheating on me. When I explained the situation to the "other guy", he exclaimed that I was lying because I was jealous and trying to ruin his relationship. He punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 061

You deserved it 2 978

Heavy sleeper

By good_aim - 27/07/2013 08:03 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I returned from a long business trip a day early to surprise my wife. She was sleeping, so I climbed into bed and started spooning her. Thinking I was an intruder, she simultaneously kicked me in the groin, elbowed me in the ribs, and smacked the back of her head into my jaw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 306

You deserved it 26 921

By Anonymous - 23/11/2015 03:17 - Canada

Today, I drove 3 hours to surprise my girlfriend, who I hadn't seen in 3 weeks. When she opened the door, she gasped, told me to fuck off and slammed the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 809

You deserved it 2 377

Assumptions

By 181999 - 14/09/2013 20:47 - United States - Essex Junction

Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment for the first time, only to see another girl walking out. I accused her of cheating with him and we got into a fight. Turns out I was at the wrong apartment. He lives next door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 455

You deserved it 54 407

Get out

By Anonymous - 15/07/2022 00:00

Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating, so she smashed me in the head with her handbag so hard my eyeball is red from a burst blood vessel. I followed her home, where she tried to pretend she knew nothing, it wasn’t her I'd seen, she’d been home all day. I had to get the cops to drag her out my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 288

You deserved it 161

By Anonymous - 01/11/2014 18:23 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 870

You deserved it 5 522

DeeJayD 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 1:15

I think you should take him to court for assault. That'd show him.

breaksprinter_ 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 1:20

You should take that guy to court, especially if that is your house, and not your girlfriend's. And I hope you broke up with her from that because if she obviously can't keep it in her pants while you're not around, she is not worth having.

Comments

tehmadness 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 3:48

i agree with #21. Double team her then dump her.

NinjaNath 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 3:51

TheEmoPrepGirl - Marry me, you are my soulmate!

SVelasquez 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 3:57

Definitely take him to court for assault.

kellster 2

Sunday 29 March 2009 3:58

Seriously, lawsuit. I'm so sorry your homecoming turned out this way. :/

deeznutzismine 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 4:11

deserved it. you shouldn't have been seeing a ho.

iceecold 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 4:19

omgg maybe its cuz ur boringg : /

Phillay632 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 4:28

#19, that is an improper use of a falcon punch, shame on you! And OP, I'd most definitely sue the piss out of that guy. Take him for everything he has and get him locked away for assault.

WAxlRose 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 4:44

Press Charges for Aussalt

lifesabit 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 4:54

Press charges and throw the girl out!

lol_seriously 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 5:03

To all the people saying "punch him back" do you not think after logging on FML and posting this it's a little late for that. Ah hell with it, track him down, show up at his door 10 months later and beat the shit out of him. Self defense right? Anyways, ouch dude this is definately a FML.