Sex, Relatable, Pervert and Intimacy: Taking it too far

Taking it too far

By Hypocrisy - 28/09/2011 22:16 - United States

Today, I was called a pervert. On a phone sex line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 665

You deserved it 56 826

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Same thing different taste

By virginat16 - 14/12/2010 11:00 - United States

Today, I got a call from a restricted number. When I answered, it was a prank call. The kids on the other end had porn on high volume and put the phone next to the speaker. Way to remind me that I'm still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 223

You deserved it 7 799

LEAVE ME ALONE

By Anonymous - 26/06/2012 21:10 - United States

Today, I found out that the phone number I switched to used to host an amateur phone sex hotline. I found this out after getting several calls by teenagers, who sounded as if they were masturbating, even as I yelled that they had the wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 568

You deserved it 2 032

By long day - 12/11/2013 20:29 - United States - Bay City

Today, while taking an order over the phone for the customer at work, I began to hear slight moans. The moans gradually became faster and louder, until climax was achieved and I realized I was being used for phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 758

You deserved it 3 889

By Somessedup - 09/09/2009 18:29 - United States

Today, my boss asked to use my phone since the company pays for it. A few hours later the same boss called me into his office to fire me. Apparently the company checks the phone records and found a call made on my cell to a sex line. My boss made that call and just fired me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 119

You deserved it 4 626

Revealing

By kitkat545 - 15/06/2009 23:18 - United States

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 089

You deserved it 51 017

By Anonymous - 14/03/2014 05:07 - Australia - Brighton

Today, I had the cops called on me for acting suspiciously. I was using a payphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 696

You deserved it 4 014

Sex work is work

By Anonymous - 02/01/2016 22:31 - United States

Today, I got a call from my dad asking if I was a porno actress. I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 263

You deserved it 29 587

By Anonymous - 17/03/2018 05:00

Today, while working at my dead-end call centre job that couldn't get any worse, I answered a call from a customer who was having loud sex. I still needed to sound professional and tell her when a product was released. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 702

You deserved it 425

By Anonymous - 14/04/2014 03:17 - United States

Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 985

You deserved it 7 876

Listen up

By Ryan - 01/09/2022 21:00 - Canada - Quesnel

Today, after getting off the phone with a client, I got horny so I put on some porn and cranked one out. After I'd finished, I realized I hadn't ended the call and neither had my client. They heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 271

You deserved it 2 050

bhangu023 0

Thursday 29 September 2011 9:01

Pervert

L_Lovegood 19

Thursday 29 September 2011 9:09

This is more of a "WTF" than an "FML", I think ^^

Comments

zombiekitten87 12

Thursday 29 September 2011 10:15

Wow... You must be some kind of freak to upset a phone-hooker...

Enslaved 36

Thursday 29 September 2011 10:35

You just called the wrong type of sex line. There's one out there to cater to your needs, pervert! I can only imagine what you said.

gioo_fml 6

Tuesday 4 October 2011 6:38

That makes you sick for being able to imagine what he said......PERVERRTTT!!!!!

nickyjp 17

Thursday 3 May 2012 16:57

#34 I have some popsicles in my cellar

Gvil_Eenius 0

Thursday 29 September 2011 10:35

Well you should never speak to your mother like that... pervert!

kurlyfries222 0

Thursday 29 September 2011 10:43

You called lifeline by accident didn't you...again!

Valea_fml 9

Thursday 29 September 2011 11:03

Would be interesting to know what you said to him/her/it ..

MainPrism 16

Thursday 29 September 2011 11:07

Than you know its true lol

alott313 0

Thursday 29 September 2011 12:15

Don't have phone sex, you might get hearing aids! ...

i_l_y143 0

Thursday 29 September 2011 12:22

ydi for having phone sex. that can give you hearing aids! ;P

Peashout 3

Thursday 29 September 2011 12:52

Your doing it right. They should have offered you a job!!

deathbreadstick 10

Thursday 29 September 2011 13:41

*you're

Jayz29 0

Thursday 29 September 2011 13:17

Haha that's funny as dude.

Jingo44 9

Sunday 2 October 2011 16:42

wth?

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The Top

Today, I received my soccer team jacket that I ordered a month ago. Trying to save money, I'd selected the "No name" option to avoid an extra $20 embroidering fee. My jacket now has "NO NAME" spelled out on the side of it, and I was charged the extra $20 dollars after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 870

You deserved it 7 937

Today, my toddler stood up in a shopping cart and fell, giving himself a black eye. Later, while at a restaurant, he tried to stand up in his high-chair. I quickly blurted out, "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. The waiter wouldn’t stop glaring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 393

You deserved it 10 700

The Top

Today, I was alone in the house at night when I almost died of fright after seeing a woman staring at me through the window. I screamed before realizing that she was just my reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 236

You deserved it 1 913

Today, I found out that my girlfriend was cheating on me. When I confronted her, she yelled at me for not noticing the signs sooner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 121

You deserved it 4 959

Today, while I was on my laptop, I decided to take a nap. Little did I know that my leg was covering up the cool air intake underneath the machine. I woke up an hour later with a first degree burn on my thigh. From a laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 911

You deserved it 45 218

Today, I set a new record: two fender benders in less than 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 744

You deserved it 439

Today, I found out my favorite teacher didn't actually "retire" last year like she said to me. She was quietly fired after saying that, "Women who dress provocatively in public are asking to be r*ped" to a class full of teenage girls. I can't believe I used to idolize this woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002

You deserved it 248

Today, I threw up during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 207

You deserved it 190