Sex, Relatable, Pervert and Intimacy: Taking it too far - FML

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Taking it too far

By Hypocrisy - 28/09/2011 22:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was called a pervert. On a phone sex line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 670

You deserved it 56 833

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Same thing different taste

By virginat16 - 14/12/2010 11:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got a call from a restricted number. When I answered, it was a prank call. The kids on the other end had porn on high volume and put the phone next to the speaker. Way to remind me that I'm still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 225

You deserved it 7 800

LEAVE ME ALONE

By Anonymous - 26/06/2012 21:10 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found out that the phone number I switched to used to host an amateur phone sex hotline. I found this out after getting several calls by teenagers, who sounded as if they were masturbating, even as I yelled that they had the wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 575

You deserved it 2 034

By long day - 12/11/2013 20:29 - United States - Bay City

Spicy

Today, while taking an order over the phone for the customer at work, I began to hear slight moans. The moans gradually became faster and louder, until climax was achieved and I realized I was being used for phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 767

You deserved it 3 892

By Somessedup - 09/09/2009 18:29 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boss asked to use my phone since the company pays for it. A few hours later the same boss called me into his office to fire me. Apparently the company checks the phone records and found a call made on my cell to a sex line. My boss made that call and just fired me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 124

You deserved it 4 626

Revealing

By kitkat545 - 15/06/2009 23:18 - United States

Spicy

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 094

You deserved it 51 026

By Anonymous - 14/03/2014 05:07 - Australia - Brighton

Today, I had the cops called on me for acting suspiciously. I was using a payphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 700

You deserved it 4 017

Sex work is work

By Anonymous - 02/01/2016 22:31 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got a call from my dad asking if I was a porno actress. I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 264

You deserved it 29 590

By Anonymous - 17/03/2018 05:00

Spicy

Today, while working at my dead-end call centre job that couldn't get any worse, I answered a call from a customer who was having loud sex. I still needed to sound professional and tell her when a product was released. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 709

You deserved it 427

By Anonymous - 14/04/2014 03:17 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 988

You deserved it 7 876

Listen up

By Ryan - 01/09/2022 21:00 - Canada - Quesnel

Spicy

Today, after getting off the phone with a client, I got horny so I put on some porn and cranked one out. After I'd finished, I realized I hadn't ended the call and neither had my client. They heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 2 065

Next

Top comments

bhangu023 0

Thursday 29 September 2011 9:01

Pervert

L_Lovegood 19

Thursday 29 September 2011 9:09

This is more of a "WTF" than an "FML", I think ^^

Comments

newmandotcom 6

Thursday 29 September 2011 16:50

You can't get a real girl?

squanmonster 8

Thursday 29 September 2011 17:36

2- you can't say like a boss if it isn't boss

treborpj 5

Thursday 29 September 2011 17:44

Lol. I wanna know what you said

orgasm_blush 4

Thursday 29 September 2011 18:05

You sir must be into some sick shit!

RedPillSucks 31

Thursday 29 September 2011 18:30

PSL: Hello? What's your pleasure OP: Oooh! baby! Whatcha wearin? Can you roll around in some bacon for me? PSL: Herbert? OP: Mom? PSL: You pervert! Wait till I tell your father. OP: Erm.... He's on the other phone, listening in. PSL: Then who's dick am I yanking on?

jhsmith22 0

Thursday 29 September 2011 18:37

Mission Accomplished!!!

Sunka_Isna 13

Thursday 29 September 2011 19:17

I don't care what anyone says, that's one hell of an achievement in my book. lol

lizliz23 0

Thursday 29 September 2011 19:21

lol then u r 1

iTouchKids 0

Thursday 29 September 2011 19:33

Nice going!

cuppycakeslove 20

Thursday 29 September 2011 20:17

AIDS is now transmitted by phone apparently.

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The Top

Today, I was hanging out with my brother and his friends. While we were walking to the store, there was a loud snap. Everyone jumped. My bra had snapped, and I had to hold back tears of pain and pretend I was just as confused as they were, while they searched for the source of the sound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 011

You deserved it 3 092

Today, I found texts between my wife and her boyfriend making fun of me. They would sext right before my wife would be with me so she could think of him. She brags about how she picks random fights with me, stalks me, withholds sex, and calls our son names as well. I cannot wait to present these screenshots during our divorce hearing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 662

You deserved it 125

The Top

Today, I tried to nicely talk to my daughter about her rapid weight gain. Having a family history of weight-related illness, I felt it was necessary. I offered to get thyroid tests, teach her to buy healthy food, and start routine exercise. She told everyone I called her a cow and had fat-shamed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 926

You deserved it 209

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he was dating me. He replied, "Well, there's not a lot of options at this college." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 635

You deserved it 4 855

Today, I had to get the manager of a grocery store to explain to his employee how coupons work. The employee had refused to accept the coupons I was using, for fear that, "they will be deducted from my paycheck." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 190

You deserved it 2 177

Today, my 28-year-old brother who has been pranking me all my life, put a chocolate cupcake on my chair. I sat on it, with my white dress. On my wedding day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 133

You deserved it 4 394

Today, I put out a fire. Sadly, it was on my doorstep because someone had lit a bag of dog poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 550

You deserved it 4 271

Today, I decided to make homemade french fries. I figured all I needed was potatoes and salt, right? Wrong! I also needed the fire department and an ambulance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 623

You deserved it 28 343