Sex, Relatable, Pervert and Intimacy: Taking it too far

Taking it too far

By Hypocrisy - 28/09/2011 22:16 - United States

Today, I was called a pervert. On a phone sex line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 661

You deserved it 56 808

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Same thing different taste

By virginat16 - 14/12/2010 11:00 - United States

Today, I got a call from a restricted number. When I answered, it was a prank call. The kids on the other end had porn on high volume and put the phone next to the speaker. Way to remind me that I'm still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 216

You deserved it 7 793

LEAVE ME ALONE

By Anonymous - 26/06/2012 21:10 - United States

Today, I found out that the phone number I switched to used to host an amateur phone sex hotline. I found this out after getting several calls by teenagers, who sounded as if they were masturbating, even as I yelled that they had the wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 558

You deserved it 2 026

By long day - 12/11/2013 20:29 - United States - Bay City

Today, while taking an order over the phone for the customer at work, I began to hear slight moans. The moans gradually became faster and louder, until climax was achieved and I realized I was being used for phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 745

You deserved it 3 888

By Somessedup - 09/09/2009 18:29 - United States

Today, my boss asked to use my phone since the company pays for it. A few hours later the same boss called me into his office to fire me. Apparently the company checks the phone records and found a call made on my cell to a sex line. My boss made that call and just fired me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 108

You deserved it 4 622

Revealing

By kitkat545 - 15/06/2009 23:18 - United States

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 076

You deserved it 50 993

By Anonymous - 14/03/2014 05:07 - Australia - Brighton

Today, I had the cops called on me for acting suspiciously. I was using a payphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 683

You deserved it 4 014

Sex work is work

By Anonymous - 02/01/2016 22:31 - United States

Today, I got a call from my dad asking if I was a porno actress. I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 255

You deserved it 29 572

By Anonymous - 17/03/2018 05:00

Today, while working at my dead-end call centre job that couldn't get any worse, I answered a call from a customer who was having loud sex. I still needed to sound professional and tell her when a product was released. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 693

You deserved it 422

By Anonymous - 14/04/2014 03:17 - United States

Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 974

You deserved it 7 874

Listen up

By Ryan - 01/09/2022 21:00 - Canada - Quesnel

Today, after getting off the phone with a client, I got horny so I put on some porn and cranked one out. After I'd finished, I realized I hadn't ended the call and neither had my client. They heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 265

You deserved it 2 016

bhangu023 0

Thursday 29 September 2011 9:01

Pervert

L_Lovegood 19

Thursday 29 September 2011 9:09

This is more of a "WTF" than an "FML", I think ^^

Comments

ndhin831 2

Thursday 29 September 2011 20:24

Perversion win!!!

theonlysweetpea 10

Thursday 29 September 2011 20:53

WTF did you tell her?!

BCenobit3 3

Thursday 29 September 2011 20:56

Rejoice in being a bit of a pervert, I'd thank them for recognizing my wonderful freakishness &tell them stop your making me blush

nubx 0

Thursday 29 September 2011 20:57

Creep

ryanthelion13 0

Thursday 29 September 2011 21:30

just be like i called to be seduced not to be lectured so shut your mouth hahahaha

neonberries 15

Thursday 29 September 2011 21:35

What the hell are you in to!?!

onorexveritas 23

Thursday 29 September 2011 21:37

well technically anyone on sex lines are either perverts and orsluts so don't be too offended

lisha88 1

Thursday 29 September 2011 22:09

You must be really nasty if they called you a pervert or you called the wrong number and started talking nasty lol

noraaxx3 0

Thursday 29 September 2011 22:15

jessus. what the heckk did u say?? :3

Orcina1 3

Thursday 29 September 2011 22:15

Yeah, Hearing AIDS

Keywords

Food Scams Money Health Parents Relatable Lonely Love Growing old Work Miscellaneous Games Weird Awkward Cheating Sex Intimacy Birthday Romantic Ironic Shopping Sexting Porn Embarrassing Confused Restaurants Kids Family Cute Music

The Top

Today, I’m confused as hell. Since we got divorced, my ex-wife and I have had more sex in the last 6 months than our entire 5 year marriage. Since our split, we can’t keep our hands off each other, and I’m in a state of permanent confusion about our future relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 293

You deserved it 348

Today, at a family dinner, my grandma asked me why I’m still single. Before I could answer, my dad, always ready with dad joke, quipped, "Because everyone he tries to date runs away faster than he can catch them." My family laughed, and my grandma just nodded and said, "Makes sense." FML

I agree, your life sucks 313

You deserved it 70

The Top

Today, I was chilling with my best friend and suddenly I got a text from my ex saying he wanted me back. My best friend saw the text and said, "Don't go back with him, you deserve better." I wanted to go back with him but I didn't. Later, I saw them hanging out and turns out they're dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 284

You deserved it 132

Today, I realized when I'm on my phone, I tend to play with my penis, even in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 414

You deserved it 28 712

Today, while enjoying a lovely 80 degree day, I returned from a 2-hour bike ride to find my truck window smashed. The only thing taken was my change of clothes. My insurance company says it'll cost $1000 to replace the window. I feel like I got robbed twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 299

You deserved it 218

Today, I had to explain to my mother that a lace mini-dress with an obscene amount of cleavage was not appropriate to wear while meeting my boyfriend's parents. She called me an "annoying prude" and said that with my attitude, I don't deserve to have a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 311

You deserved it 4 935

Today, I was babysitting. The kids were thirsty, so I poured them both a cup of the green juice I'd found in a jug in their fridge. They downed it in a flash. It wasn't until later on after I'd poured myself a cup and taken a sip, I realized I had given them margarita mix. The kids are 4 and 2. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 361

You deserved it 58 708

Today, my wife and I had to rush our dog to the vet for a $700 emergency surgery. The x-ray showed that he had eaten a vibrating cock ring. I've never bought or owned one, so now I've got to deal with the vet bill and lawyer's fees for my soon-to-be ex-wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 942

You deserved it 627