Family, Poopoo peepee, AITA, Grandparents and Miscellaneous: Terms of service

Terms of service

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my grandma called me spoiled, materialistic, and Americanized for reminding her that she can flush the toilet after she uses it. The family now has a "three pee, one poo" minimum before we're allowed to flush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 646

You deserved it 1 696

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Inspection time

By Anonymous - 22/06/2013 05:01 - United States - Monterey

Today, my grandmother made a rule that every time we take a crap, she has to examine the turds to make sure they aren't big enough to clog up the pipes. I don't know what's worse: that she looks at my turds, or the fact that she actively comments on them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 272

You deserved it 3 615

Poop

By Roma - 16/06/2017 14:00 - United States - Chevy Chase

Today I asked my mother-in-law to borrow a plunger, so she asked what I needed it for. "Poop," I replied. "I've told you this before," she huffed, "you have to poop a little and then flush, poop a little and flush. You can't go all at once." I can't even shit right for this woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 400

You deserved it 551

Not now!

By Anonymous - 18/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 95

Open door policy

By Anonymous - 09/03/2021 23:01

Today, my mom yelled at me for not pooping with the bathroom door open like the rest of the family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 210

You deserved it 78

Quality family time

By really mature, GRAN - 25/12/2012 20:59 - United States - El Macero

Today, my psycho grandma yelled at me for being an "immature brat" by not offering to wash the dishes after dinner. I reminded her that when I offered last time, she raged at me for being "condescending." She responded by faking a heart attack and getting me indefinitely grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 778

You deserved it 3 078

By MedChew - 08/05/2015 12:46 - Malaysia - Kuala Lumpur

Today, my obsessive-compulsive mother barred me from using the toilet she had just cleaned. She told me to wait until tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 581

You deserved it 2 141

Flushed

By Anonymous - 24/07/2023 03:00

Today, and once a week for the past three weeks, I had to tell some house guests to stop flushing things like Q-tips and tampons down my apartment's toilet. My preteen siblings? No, my 45-year-old mom and her similarly-aged boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 753

You deserved it 101

Cringe

By mikesok988 - 07/05/2009 07:40 - United States

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 475

You deserved it 4 811

By Anonymous - 14/02/2015 19:02 - United States - Lemont

Today, my mom's obsession with cleanliness hit a new low when she bitched at me for having trash in my trash can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 947

You deserved it 2 461

Shortage

By WaterNeeded - 21/06/2018 20:30

Today, I came back from a holiday with in-laws who don't speak English. After taking a dump and not being able to flush, I realised they had turned off the water prior to the holiday. I had to show them my poop to explain they had no running water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 899

You deserved it 431

squizzlebee 19

Thursday 31 December 2015 14:23

That's disgusting.

NYM88 26

Thursday 31 December 2015 14:29

If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, flush it down.

Comments

ronnixoxo 18

Friday 1 January 2016 17:42

what if the poo comes first & you have to wait all day for the three pees ? time to bunk with a buddy for a while.

AlwaysLuvMorgan 5

Friday 1 January 2016 18:34

Water splashes ..

lukeDAduke157 11

Friday 1 January 2016 19:50

'Environmentalists'

JamesILoveFML 11

Friday 1 January 2016 19:51

Ugh. Makes me cringe. A few pees in one thing.

BrotherPhil 35

Friday 1 January 2016 21:36

That rule has been around for a while, though granny could have been nicer about it. Not a bad idea, particularly in places like Nevada.

themostunlucky_fml 14

Saturday 2 January 2016 0:22

This is a repost

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Saturday 2 January 2016 3:41

And who exactly is stopping you from flushing the toilet? Your grandma is crazy. What's she going to do if someone flushes right after using the toilet? Ugh! That is so gross! And I can only imagine the smell.