Birthday, Weird and Love: Thanks, I guess…

Thanks, I guess…

By Anonymous - 21/09/2013 18:10 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 142

You deserved it 4 171

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Same thing different taste

By same - 21/11/2015 06:39 - United States - Palo Alto

Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 802

You deserved it 6 879

By Birthday blues - 13/12/2018 22:00

Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 038

You deserved it 602

By amber - 19/04/2012 18:00 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, my boyfriend gave me acne cream for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 737

You deserved it 4 783

By random123 - 29/11/2009 05:16 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend was kind enough to give me prescription strength deodorant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 164

You deserved it 7 761

It's all too much

By Anonymous - 23/06/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My gifts were a stomach bug from my kid and a confession to a year-long affair from my (now soon-to-be-ex) husband of 21 years. Nobody even got me a card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 642

You deserved it 100

Happy Nothing

By Cheapass - 07/11/2021 02:00

Today, it’s my birthday. My boyfriend didn’t get me a present, or do anything special for me, because, “The rent’s paid, you have a fridge full of groceries… What more do you want?” Later on, he asked me why did I, “look so sad?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 381

You deserved it 290

By Deaf Dumb & Blonde - 01/09/2016 21:17 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I told my boyfriend I wanted to feel special even if for just one day. He said he would do the laundry for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 534

You deserved it 2 214

By salt. - 28/02/2012 22:04 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom." That's how he put it, anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 182

You deserved it 2 634

By reallyman__639 - 13/12/2011 12:26 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 563

You deserved it 17 509

By Mazzam - 19/11/2008 11:33 - France

Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 282

You deserved it 18 567

BreynHope 11

Sunday 22 September 2013 2:43

Nothing says happy birthday like a clean asshole. Take it all in stride.

BlesstheSilence 11

Sunday 22 September 2013 2:45

Swiggity swooty he's coming for that booty!

Comments

XxWormFoodxX 14

Sunday 22 September 2013 16:40

He's into some real kinky stuff

TheyCallMeDamien 17

Sunday 22 September 2013 16:44

He has plans to fill/feel that hole in your life.

Backslash 6

Sunday 22 September 2013 17:22

He knew you didn't mind crappy gifts so he gave you a crappy gift to make your life less crappy...

pdoggy 1

Sunday 22 September 2013 17:30

Looks like two assholes won't be getting dirty for a while now.

Likian5 26

Sunday 22 September 2013 17:47

......Pun intended?

Coldinside 12

Sunday 22 September 2013 17:47

Prepare your anus OP. Anal is better when you're properly cleaned out.

crazytwinsmom 25

Sunday 22 September 2013 17:54

Is he saying that you're full of shit?

fabricatedego 5

Sunday 22 September 2013 20:48

probably wants to knock on the back door. sorry OP

babybax 6

Sunday 22 September 2013 21:10

He wants anal sex...cant blame the guy

picturescrazy 24

Sunday 22 September 2013 21:58

You seriously couldn't figure it out? Prepare your anus...

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The Top

Today, I had to give back the Christmas present to who I thought was my best friend. He asked me to be his girlfriend and I declined. Apparently, because I don’t feel the same way he does, I don’t deserve it. I was under the impression that he’d given me this present to be a friend, not to get in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 171

Today, my fiancé and I toured our dream home. I was so excited about it that I posted all kinds of pictures of it on Facebook. My boss's daughter just called and said she loved my pictures so much that she made an offer on the house. We were one week away from making an offer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 357

You deserved it 34 586

The Top

Today, I'm on a 16 hour flight. Five minutes in, the lady on one side has clipped her toenails onto me and the guy on the other side has the most horrific gas I have ever smelled. To help this problem he bought a cheese plate from the stewardess. 15 hours and 55 minutes to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 466

You deserved it 3 245

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in front of about 75 people in the fanciest restaurant in town. She told me she was already engaged, while holding up her right hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 260

You deserved it 580

Today, I was having dinner at a long-time friend's place. In a matter of 15 minutes, her mom had managed to establish unequivocally that three kinds of people were ruining the world: vegetarians, atheists, and homosexuals. I'm all three rolled into one. She knows that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 225

You deserved it 16 156

Today, I’m a happily married man and I know this because my wife says so all the time. E.g., we don’t need marriage counselling because we’re happily married; you're not moving out because we’re happily married, and the latest, we don’t need a divorce because we’re happily married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 365

You deserved it 198

Today, I discovered the real reason my husband was distraught last week and has been acting moodily ever since. An attractive girl he was secretly having sex chats with online confessed to him that "she" was actually a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 866

You deserved it 4 575

Today, I thought about going to visit an old girlfriend of mine with hopes of getting a little head. Unfortunately, I didn't know it would be head lice I'd get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 806

You deserved it 9 122

Thanks, I guess…

Same thing different taste

It's all too much

Happy Nothing

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