Intimacy: The all-seeing eye

The all-seeing eye

By Anonymous - 28/10/2011 02:49 - United States

Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Just as she took her shirt off, her phone rang. It was her mom, demanding she return home. Now I've been cockblocked, and my girlfriend's mom seems to be a goddamn clairvoyant. Awesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 328

You deserved it 5 796

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Same thing different taste

Unwanted guest

By MMM - 21/01/2014 23:26 - United States - Saco

Today, my plans for having sex with my girlfriend were thwarted for the sixth time in a row by my own mother. I found out later that she's been reading my texts so she knew when to drop by and ruin everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 574

You deserved it 11 473

By anonymous - 21/02/2011 05:01

Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 987

You deserved it 14 929

By BlackPolarbear - 23/01/2010 08:05 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 133

You deserved it 29 771

By lez probs - 18/05/2013 12:54 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when her mother unexpectedly came home. In the rush to get dressed, we accidentally put on each other's shirts. Her mom noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 530

You deserved it 21 744

By policeopenup - 11/07/2009 19:38 - United States

Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 393

You deserved it 8 739

Not now, mother!

By Anonymous - 19/06/2022 04:00 - United States - Sayville

Today, after nearly two months of no sex, I got cockblocked by an unexpected visit by my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 061

You deserved it 201

By MarMar - 15/03/2009 20:47 - United States

Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 592

You deserved it 17 308

Knock next time please

By Anonymous - 09/11/2020 21:32 - India

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 791

By AnonymousLoser - 11/09/2013 09:30 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend invited me over for the first time. I pulled up to her house just to be denied at the front door by her mum. She'd invited me over to break up with me, but had her mum do it for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 041

You deserved it 3 738

By Gwayhir - 19/11/2008 04:58 - France

Today, I was making love with my girlfriend and my landline rang. Obviously, I let it go to voicemail. At the very moment I was about to cum, I heard my mum's voice on my voicemail: "Hi sweetheart!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 068

You deserved it 4 922

khaya 9

Friday 28 October 2011 6:01

At least it wasn't during.

RecklessJellyBea 7

Friday 28 October 2011 6:03

Women's intuition. Now the ultimate cockblock.

Comments

lizard399 0

Friday 28 October 2011 8:21

Weellll... There's always next time... Ask her to turn her phone off for 30secs

BlacOpsMaximus 5

Friday 28 October 2011 8:38

Maybe you should earn her trust before you ruin her daughter's life. I'm assuming you two were going to have unprotected, hence my earlier comment. x)

Em_I_Am 5

Friday 28 October 2011 10:26

Umm.. who are you talking to?

BlacOpsMaximus 5

Friday 28 October 2011 11:28

I was talking to the OP! :D

dontfmlplzzz 6

Friday 28 October 2011 9:09

The story of my life. My girlfriends mom has interrupted all except 1 time we've had sex in 2 years

zombiegirl187 0

Friday 28 October 2011 9:14

Clairvoyant means she can communicate with the dead. Which would mean your girlfriend is dead. High five for coming out as a necrophiliac!

BlacOpsMaximus 5

Friday 28 October 2011 11:32

too funny! ;)

ItsAlan19 0

Friday 28 October 2011 9:27

Lol just say you're stuck in traffic

aFreedom127 9

Friday 28 October 2011 9:57

If a call from mom is enough to cockblock you then she isn't old enough (or mature enough) to be having sex. I suspect you aren't either.

Em_I_Am 5

Friday 28 October 2011 10:13

Talk about blue balls..

BlacOpsMaximus 5

Friday 28 October 2011 11:30

haha! he'll have fun getting rid of that xD(sarcasm) O_o

SouthernKiller 4

Friday 28 October 2011 10:31

Done in by The woMan again.

btbamfan75 0

Friday 28 October 2011 10:49

Don't take the lords name in vain!! Just kidding, I dont believe in religion.

alannah1988 4

Friday 28 October 2011 11:32

Tell her it's okay that you'll probably wear a condom... And if anything does happen you'll take full responsibility by never calling her daughter back and moving to a different state.. Idk what the mom has to worry about :P