The big con

By JustOutofCollegeAndBroke - 16/07/2015 06:56 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I agreed to help out with my boyfriend's sister's baby shower. They forgot to inform me that "helping" meant splitting the cost of everything. I now owe his family $275. I don't know how to back out without looking cheap. FML
I agree, your life sucks 28 719
You deserved it 2 650

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Murilirum 23

It's not looking cheap if you didn't know it meant paying money. $275 is a fair chunk of change and not something you should just give out because someone else says you should. Also, why is a baby-shower requiring a collective acquiring of $275 per person?!

Just speak with the sister and explain that you misunderstood, and if you can't afford it explain why.

Comments

You helped them. If anything, THEY owe you money for the work. I hate when people aren't up front about money. I don't have enough cash for stupid surprises, so just tell me immediately what you expect me to pay.

quarterbird 18

If you never agreed to help pay for the shower, it's not looking cheap. You should have said that you weren't going to pay as soon as you figured out that the plan was to have you pay half. The longer you wait, the worse it will be. If you're too spineless to speak up for yourself, ask your bf to sort it out or suck it up and pay.

curiouslilbird 19

Ugh, I am cringing just reading about this bait-and-switch scenario--this is nerve-wracking! Perhaps say something like "No one said anything to me about financially helping out--I was offering my time and effort because I am not very well-funded at the moment."

They may think of you being a bitch but just get out or if you really don't want to look bad try doing a lay away...

OP, just simply tell them you did not realise 'helping out' meant splitting the cost, you don't have the money and you don't feel like you should have to fork over so much money for an event that is not yours. You will not look cheap, but if you do who cares. Tell them you will organise, set up, plan but will not contribute money. Easy peesy. If you can't say, get your boyfriend to but it would be better coming from you. I think it is extremely unreasonable of them to expect that of you. Good luck OP.

I've never heard of a baby shower where someone other than the people throwing it pay for it. And I've been to quite a few.

Anyone who thinks you look cheap for not paying $275 towards someone elses party has seriously warped perceptions. Anyone who expects another person to pay towards a party they are organising, should consult and make decisions with whoever they expect to bankroll it, before spending an obscene amount of money. You don't look cheap, they just look like bad scroungers!

bad_boyfriend 10

They are taking advantage of you and know that you will feel obligated. **** those type of people.

Objectively it's definitely not "looking cheap," but given the pettiness with which a lot of people run their lives, particularly for family matters, I have no doubt at all that OP's family would make him/her out to be a terrible person for backing out.