Or, OP can refuse to pay them and tell them to kiss her ass. They had no right to demand $275 from her.

You're right. OP doesn't have to pay. After all, it's OP's decision. Not paying is another option. Just keep in mind OP that you are dating her brother. Every decision that is made in life affects our future. Try not to burn your bridges with his family. After all, if you marry him in the future, it would suck to be married into a family that hates you. This is not your fault OP, but by paying what you can afford, you would be more than gracious and keeping the peace with his family. That is why I suggested to you that in the future they know you will not be taken advantage of again nor will you put up with their behaviour.

If I was OP's boyfriend, I would tell them that they were awful people for expecting OP to pay $275. His family are nothing but money grubbers who don't deserve to be in OP's life if OP marries her boyfriend.

I not only paid for my bridal shower, but I also paid for my bridesmaids dresses. Why should I force someone else to pay for something that I am asking of them. If I ask someone to help me move, am I expecting them to help pay for a moving company? No, I'm paying for gas, beer, and pizza because they are doing me a favor. I will be paying for and hosting my own baby shower as well because I am asking people to come over to meet my new baby. When my baby has her birthday parties, I will be paying for them. If I want someone to come to a recital, I will pay for their ticket. I'm not loaded, I just don't expect others to pay for something I want.

OP helped with a baby shower, not a bridal shower. The family had no right to tell her to pay $275.

I expected my bridesmaids to just show up in a dress. I considered them being there to support me on the day a favour, not something they should pay for the privilege of doing! Honestly if there are costs involved, especially significant ones like this, this should be made clear from the start.

No one can force anyone to do anything. If you don't want to pay for things like the bridal shower and bachelorette party, then don't be a bridesmaid. I really don't know what weird ass place you people come from where the bride pays for her own bridal shower. That's the weirdest thing I ever heard. She's already paying for the wedding (unless her parents are paying for it) which costs thousands of dollars to feed and entertain people for the privilege of having them with you on your wedding day. The bridal shower is supposed to be something the bride's closest friends--her bridesmaids--organize and pay for to offset the costs associated with starting a new life with someone. And traditionally it's a surprise party as well. Having the bride pay for and organize the bridal shower defeats the whole purpose. My sister didn't pay one cent for her bridal shower and that's the way it's supposed to be. I and her other bridesmaids paid for it. Likewise, when I got married, my sister and bridesmaids paid for my bridal shower. My sister had trouble convincing two of the others to help pay, though, because apparently, like you guys, they didn't understand what a bridal shower is, and one actually ended up voluntarily leaving the bridal party because she didn't want to pay for anything. A baby shower is the same way. The point of a baby shower is to help a new mom handle the costs of having a baby. If she paid for the baby shower, that would defeat the whole purpose of the baby shower. In this case, though, I think it goes both ways. They didn't tell OP what they expected of her, but then she didn't ask. Everyone should have made sure they understood each other from the start.

By the sounds of it OP doesn't seem that close to the family, not even considering the sister as a friend. So, she definitely shouldn't pay. If I was stupid enough to have a babyshower, or a bridalshower (if that's even a thing here), I would NOT expect people to pay for anything, and if they offered or really wanted to get me something, I'd tell them to put money towards a small gift or to buy me a drink. Maybe my parents and grandparents would give me some money as a gift also, but I wouldn't dream of asking for it off anyone. The mortification.

#60, I believe OP was speaking of a BABY shower, not a BRIDAL shower.

There is a difference between helping out and being a guest. Someone who helps out might not even attend the party, just help out with cooking or decorating. If you want someone to help PAY, then you ask them to help pay.

A bridal shower, the like baby shower OP will be "helping" with, is intended as a small party thrown for the mother (or bride, in your example) with gifts that will help her with the baby. $275 for half of it though? huh? My mother in law threw me a baby shower, tossed up a few decorations she got second hand from a friend and my mom brought some cupcakes. We played a few games, and people gave me some bottles, clothes, a teddy bear etc. and I got to listen to a few hours of horrendous birth stories. WHY does that need to cost over $500?? And if it does, that is squarely on the hosts shoulders, not a cost to pass off to your son's girlfriend.

The person hosting should cover the cost of a shower. I've never heard of anything different.

I paid for my bridal shower but did not organize it. My baby shower I will do both because I need to work it around the baby. I know traditionally you have the baby shower before the baby is born so that you can get all you need for the baby from your friends and family, but I am not like that. If I can't afford it, I won't get it. I saved enough from the time we found out that I was able to get all the basics I need, I was lucky enough to have my FIL insist on buying the crib set (it's his first grand any from his only son) but that gives me the opportunity to buy non essentials I may need. Yes, I will have a baby registry but only for people who want to get something as I do not want them to waste their money on something I may never use, otherwise I'm asking people to make a donation in her name to my charity or bring nothing and just come and meet the baby, which is what my idea of a baby shower is. To meet the baby. I know lots of people are not in the same situation as I am and rely on people to help them out, but that doesn't mean it should be expected of people to help them out. Everyone makes their own choices when it comes to getting married or having a baby, if you want to celebrate that occasion with others, why make them pay for it when you are the one who wants them there? That would be like me inviting people over for a BBQ, but telling them because I'm hosting it, they need to buy the food. To me, that is unacceptable to expect that.

#60, I don't know what kind of baby showers you have been to, but I have never been expected to give money. I was expected to pay with a gift, either bought or homemade.

Why are people assuming anyone who backs out "doesn't want to pay"? How about physically cannot pay or else they won't have food or gas or electricity or some other necessity that comes before a silly party?

Gracehi The GIFTS at a Bridal or Baby shower are supposed to be about helping the person start whatever new portion of their life they are starting. Those are brought by the attendees. There is absolutely nothing, with regards to food, decoration, or location, that should make the PARTY cost well over five hundred dollars (I say that because the $275 is supposedly splitting the cost. I am just assuming it's done evenly). If you as a bride or new parent want a party that snazzy, the cost of it is on you. I'm sorry but if you are expecting friends and family to spend that much on food and decorations than you are just being a dick to your friends and family. They are already spending a ludicrous amount on Onsies, breast pumps, blenders, or fine silver depending on which type of shower you are having.

but that would have consequences too which she would care