The pleasure, the pain

By BadBribe - 24/06/2009 19:15 - United States

Spicy
Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me a blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks 53 180
You deserved it 30 206
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Top comments

genius_man16 0

She was the one who wanted to bribe you. WTF is her problem?

199 16

Comments

ddrluna 2

I don't normally swallow because I can't handle the texture very well, so I can sympathize with that part, but the fact that she punched you in the balls for getting stuff on her dress? Jesus Christ, what a bitch. It's not like it's impossible to clean, first of all, and she could always say it was something else. Not to mention she had to bribe you with head? I give my husband head every other day and feel BAD if I don't. He never asks me for it, I just want to. It sucks that she tries to use it as some kind of bargaining tool. What a bitch.

4 7
Jaywin 3

I wish you weren't already married...

1 2
plexico 3

#40 You're the best! If you want some practice on your days off, give me a call. Once you get the semen to leave my penis, you can do whatever you want with it. After all, you worked for it! ;)

1 1
wienerwagon 0

Um, hello? She had to bribe him at all. He's obviously an asshole. And the fact that you take it to the face like a pro does not mean that all women are obligated to suck dick as often as possible. That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Yeah, you're being nice to your guy and I'm sure he appreciates it, but you're an insult to women if you believe it's your duty. The people who say it's her fault for not swallowing have more respect for women than you do.

5 1
isthisonetaken 0

your husband doesn't ask you for it? he obviously doesn't appreciate it. i would be very greatful to have you as my wife. leave him and gimme a call

0 3
shirvon100 0

she sholdve worn an apron wouldve made her feel like a real woman...jk

2 2
jt8787 0

pshh!! her fault for now swallowing hahaha. shoulda given her a headbutt to the ovaries lmfao. aww Maddox so ******* funny. if you guys dunno who that is search the book "The Alphabet of Manliness" one of the funniest books i've ever read hahah

0 2
colormefancy 0

Like a guy would turn a ******** for any reason at all. If she "bribed" him with one like he would really refuse a bribe like that. Your girlfriend is a bitch though she chose to wear the dress while doing the deed and if she swallowed it really would have not affected her dress in any way. Her punching you in the balls for that is just a bitch move.. FYL. Hope they dont bruise?

1 4
seb12992 0

First of all, she shouldn't have to bribe you to be good. Secondly, she's a **** for bribing you with a BJ, I don't care if she IS your gf.

1 4
Fd4Lyfe 0

lol i dont understand how this is a FML, u got a ******* for a punch in the nuts is there anyone here who wouldn't take that? anyone? ill wait.

1 0
blackbear6193 0

#52, agreed. im sick of fml's that arent even that bad. and if it were up to me, id take a punch to the balls, and after they're all better, take the bj. (save the best for last of course) also, shut up everyone saying "your an ass for having to be bribed." SHE decided to bribe HIM. its not like he said, "look honey, i know im a total dick, but im willing to act tolerable tonight in exchange for 1 ********. also i really hate your family." she brought it on, so she should just deal with it. whining bitches. uuuuugh.

1 1
Tsukasa_fml 0

I'm glad I'm not the only one who realized this. I really doubt he *needed* a bribe.

0 0
wienerwagon 0

You're kidding, right? If my girlfriend punched me in the balls she would no longer be my girlfriend, regardless of how often my dick was being sucked.

0 0
Fd4Lyfe 0

then you've either never got a really good bj, or your just retarded. The pain from a punch in the nuts lasts less than 1 minute, then u have 30 minutes or more to feel good

0 0
o_O_0_o 0

That's not even your fault. She should of; 1. been more careful or 2. swallowed.

0 2
withered 30

#54 Yeah because he is unable to control his body. He is unable to put a condom on before he finishes so there is no mess. Cause there is no way in this universe he could have came onto something else (like magical thing called tissues). Given the information that he is such a prick he needs bribe to act like a normal person I am pretty sure he could have missed the dress but didn't want to.

0 0