Intimacy: The scientific method

The scientific method

By really - 21/06/2012 05:30 - United States - Bonney Lake

Today, my boyfriend thought he could make a pregnancy test read positive by jizzing on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 860

You deserved it 4 837

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Not a biology major

By Anonymous - 27/10/2019 04:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend ate glitter. When I asked him why he would do such an insane thing, he replied, "I wanted my jizz to sparkle." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 678

You deserved it 281

By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 02:35 - United States

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, in the bathroom. I noticed a pregnancy test in the trash can. He lives alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 516

You deserved it 3 137

By Anonymous - 04/12/2013 22:08 - United States - Marsing

Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 470

You deserved it 12 273

Wrap it up

By Anonymous - 17/11/2023 16:00 - Sweden - Linköping

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me by testing myself for STIs/STDs and got a positive result for chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 642

You deserved it 94

By Pissy - 23/05/2019 06:05

Today, I thought my boyfriend wanted to be romantic by pouring a bath, getting in then calling me in. As I get comfortable, he stands up and gets out. At the same time, I notice yellow water. He'd pissed in the tub for a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 365

You deserved it 232

By Jessie - 22/08/2019 12:01 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, I told my boyfriend of 4 years that I'm pregnant. He suggested we get a paternity test done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 888

You deserved it 332

By Anonymous - 06/12/2013 21:37 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scared that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 089

You deserved it 6 008

By Anonymous - 07/06/2016 07:45

Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom and proudly showed me how far back he could stand from the toilet while he peed. Unfortunately, he got distracted and peed all over the floor I had mopped just an hour before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 897

You deserved it 1 238

By Anonymous - 12/04/2014 05:24 - United States

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend, his response was, "I'll start watching pregnant porn to build up an attraction to it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 921

You deserved it 8 415

By S…… - 09/01/2011 10:18 - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 389

You deserved it 5 766

zaksyak 1

Thursday 21 June 2012 12:08

You Can't?

xoxosuperbad 5

Thursday 21 June 2012 12:07

You hit the jackpot there

Comments

pipc 10

Friday 22 June 2012 21:15

If a male receives a positive pregnancy test, it can indicate a serious health problem along the lines of cancer.

BunBunBabe 8

Friday 22 June 2012 22:35

That is literally the dumbest thing I've heard of

woeisme134 0

Saturday 23 June 2012 1:01

I think I saw that on mythbusters....

TergesteCity 12

Saturday 23 June 2012 6:37

lol why would he do that?

Ncbaby2012_fml 3

Saturday 23 June 2012 8:37

Please never reproduce with this jackass

screw_loose_ 3

Sunday 24 June 2012 5:19

Haha.. oh.

countrygirl1616 2

Sunday 24 June 2012 5:58

One you're not even married why would you be trying to have kids? And two he's obviously one of those people you pray won't reproduce.

hailrenee 0

Sunday 24 June 2012 6:56

seems about right.

paul0397 3

Sunday 24 June 2012 7:11

Seems legit.

Marissa1586 18

Sunday 24 June 2012 20:10

Haha he's a dumb ass xDD

Keywords

Mental health Work Awkward Relatable AITA Am I overreacting? Social Media Love Annoying Family Sex Intimacy Coworkers Poopoo peepee Transportation Cars Dentist Health Dogs Animals Cute Sleep Shopping My ex Cats Job interview Clothes Miscellaneous Weird Holidays

The Top

Today, I was on the subway when I felt like I was going to faint. I got off the train at the next stop, walked to a bench, but fell over and passed out. When I woke up, I looked around at at least 25 people, who had stepped around me, passed out, in the middle of the platform. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 115

You deserved it 3 275

Today, as I was walking to wash my hands after using the restroom, the guy walking away from the sink flicked water from his hands towards the floor. Water splashed all over my beige shorts. I had to walk back into class looking like I'd peed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 835

You deserved it 442

The Top

Today, thinking I was alone at work, I did an impression of Goldar from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I turned around to find out I wasn't alone; a cute girl was staring at me, unimpressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 939

You deserved it 20 336

Today, at work I did inventory with my boss. He did the top shelves and I did the bottom ones. By the end, my knees were dirty and sore. I went home and my roommate asked me how my day went. I absent-mindedly said, "My boss had me on my knees all day." He hasn't stopped laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 650

You deserved it 3 265

Today, I read on Facebook that someone shat outside our block of flats. I laughed and showed it to my friend who was with me. She turned to me, and said, "That was you, we were locked outside last night and you needed to pee, but a poo slipped out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 750

You deserved it 2 357

Today, a wasp somehow got into my parents' house, so I went hunting for it with my dad. I found it and, after getting into position, took a strong swing at it with a fly swatter. Unfortunately, being very uncoordinated, I missed. You can figure out the rest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 221

Today, my aunt brought me a birthday present. I quickly figured out that she'd simply returned the jacket I let her borrow two years ago for my brother's graduation party. It reeks of cigarette smoke and alcohol. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 554

You deserved it 1 775

Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 436

You deserved it 4 697

The scientific method

Same thing different taste

Not a biology major

Wrap it up

Top comments

Comments