Injury, Ironic and Health: Thin skinned

Thin skinned

By cbad - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I cut my finger with a plastic knife while demonstrating that you can't cut yourself with a plastic knife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 150

You deserved it 48 787

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

Awahso 25

Monday 30 January 2012 18:57

Better not do infomercials.

Ins_Knie 2

Monday 30 January 2012 18:58

For every foolproof invention a bigger fool emerges and proves it wrong...

Comments

ILoveTabz 0

Monday 30 January 2012 23:13

Oh, the irony...

Calyx_fml 21

Monday 30 January 2012 23:21

You can't. Try it again.

paperroll880 16

Monday 30 January 2012 23:23

Hahaha. What a dork

matt_mcg 2

Tuesday 31 January 2012 1:46

Dork..? Really?

tarametcalf94 4

Monday 30 January 2012 23:36

Dumb ass

tehdarkness 21

Monday 30 January 2012 23:41

You're doing it wrong!!

RokNRoll11 9

Monday 30 January 2012 23:45

Well, at least your bet wasn't you couldn't cut your hand off. Right?

bubo_fml 10

Tuesday 31 January 2012 0:01

You will be the creator of the "Incredible Ginzu Spork!" (Go on & get rich, girl!)

fuzzybear14 0

Tuesday 31 January 2012 0:03

...fail

ballinjordin 1

Tuesday 31 January 2012 0:04

Whos in the Super Bowl?

SukiIzumi 8

Tuesday 31 January 2012 0:09

That is fail. It's just like saying you can't cut yourself with a butter-knife, and you can.

Keywords

Love Party Awkward Lonely ADHD Transportation Cars Ironic Vacation Work Mental health Miscellaneous Grandparents Accident Covid Health Kids Annoying Shopping Cute Coworkers Dogs Animals Photography Art Videos Exhausted Sex Intimacy Money

The Top

Today, I bought my fiancée a dress for her birthday. She accused me of saying she was fat, because I bought it in medium rather than small. After trying on the dress, she's now not only mad at me for buying it, but also because the dress fits perfectly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 405

You deserved it 4 549

Today, my boyfriend is coming over. We haven't seen each other for a while so for a surprise, a few days ago, I decided to shave my pubic hair. I've come up in a huge rash that looks like some sort of infection. Not quite the sexy surprise I was hoping for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 740

You deserved it 6 900

The Top

Today, I shattered my iPhone screen. Pieces of glass are chipping out and can easily slice up any idiot who slides their finger across the screen. Unfortunately, I was that idiot. There's blood in the cracks of my screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 433

You deserved it 6 734

Today, my boyfriend and I watched the new movie "The Purge." After the movie, I jokingly asked him that if the U.S. had such a purge in real life, would he participate, and who would he kill first. Without missing a beat, he said, "you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 067

You deserved it 8 647

Today, I discovered why my house smells like death. Apparently, because of the rain, a whole load of worms crawled into my garage and died. They're everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 844

You deserved it 2 700

Today, my girlfriend and I started to be intimate after a run of dry spells. I was looking forward to this, until one of our kids came barging into our room and ruined the moment for the rest of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 995

You deserved it 291

Today, my commitment issues were perfectly illustrated when I couldn't put a nail in the wall to hang a painting, because, "What if I change my mind?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 698

You deserved it 6 021

Today, I met my sister's fiancé. I would have been happier for her if he hadn't been mine a month ago when I introduced them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 465

You deserved it 3 218