Intimacy: Thoughts and prayers

Thoughts and prayers

By Anonymous - 09/08/2014 19:29 - United Kingdom

Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after hearing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, then heard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see her on her knees and her boyfriend with his underwear around his ankles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 553

You deserved it 24 651

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Same thing different taste

By future brain bleach addict - 02/05/2013 23:54 - Canada - Victoria

Today, I walked in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 109

You deserved it 8 580

Freakout

By Anonymous - 09/05/2014 22:03 - South Africa

Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 336

You deserved it 4 323

By Harry Dare - 02/09/2011 16:31 - United Kingdom

Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 993

You deserved it 4 322

By Anonymous - 05/03/2011 05:05 - United States

Today, my girlfriend went down on me for the first time. Just as I was reaching climax, my brother raced into the bathroom right next to my door and began to vomit extremely loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 140

You deserved it 5 570

By useyourownbed - 18/09/2012 20:06 - United States - Byron

Today, my sister walked into my room, saying her boyfriend "forgot something." She then reached under my bed and pulled out a pair of boxers and a condom wrapper. Her response to my disgust was, "My bed was dirty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 911

You deserved it 2 496

Empathy bypass

By Jason - 17/04/2020 02:00 - United Kingdom - Newcastle

Today, I worked up the courage to confess my bulimia to my girlfriend of three months. It's a touchy subject for me and I ended up in tears. When I was done talking, I looked up to see my girlfriend's disgusted face. She claimed I had a 'vomit fetish', said I was 'half a man' and broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 527

You deserved it 663

Oversharing is caring

By Lauren - 12/10/2011 17:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my family. It was going well until my 23 year-old sister started telling him in detail about her constipation, and that if she doesn't take a shit in a few days, it's going to come out of her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 466

You deserved it 2 866

By jessefonsexy. - 07/12/2010 11:08 - United States

Today, I was trying to go to sleep when I heard my sister come home from the bar. I fell asleep and woke up an hour later to see my sister squatting in my dresser drawer. I asked her what she was doing and she said "I'm peeing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 143

You deserved it 2 772

By thisisbad - 12/10/2009 14:21 - Malaysia

Today, I was in the toilet when somebody started banging on the door loudly. I panicked and immediately cleaned my self and opened the door. As I opened the door, my brother vomited all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 997

You deserved it 2 789

By MisterBrown - 15/02/2010 07:08 - United States

Today, while at a family get together, my bowels suddenly decided they needed to be emptied. Straight away. I felt bad enough using someone else's bathroom for this, but later, my sister came in and loudly said "God, Brian, what the hell have you been eating?" in front of everyone at the get together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 773

You deserved it 3 362

hoopfrog 14

Sunday 10 August 2014 0:33

Quiet gagging.. Always think BJ hahah

inner_peace 19

Sunday 10 August 2014 0:33

One of those moments where you wish you could have the mind wipe device from "Men in Black." Most definitely FYL, OP.

Comments

destryyy 10

Sunday 10 August 2014 21:20

Why would she be puking in her room? Like out of all the places?

pussystank 18

Sunday 10 August 2014 21:26

He must have a good size of dick.

Nish007 15

Sunday 10 August 2014 21:29

she sucks. she should've locked the door

RastaZebra 8

Sunday 10 August 2014 23:03

Someday she will be choking but you won't save her because you'll assume she's just sucking dick.

kamehamehadoken 2

Sunday 10 August 2014 23:24

So...gasping means come on in?

Blake77_fml 19

Sunday 10 August 2014 23:48

Your life sucks, and YDI...

Saraishi 24

Monday 11 August 2014 3:01

A gasp is not the same as ''come right in!''. You could've asked if she was okay after knocking and whether she wanted you to come in.

PizzaDeliveryGrl 19

Monday 11 August 2014 3:12

Forget privacy, do people just not have locks on their doors? Is she not smart enough to lock the flipping door??

PRGuyy 5

Monday 11 August 2014 4:43

Bro... You had it coming.

haydenzare 4

Monday 11 August 2014 4:49

Yeah really bro u had that coming.... Stay out your siblings room when they have the opposite sex over.

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The Top

Today, I learned that you truly can get cramp in any muscle of your body, including that one specific ring of muscle in the back. Yes, I got a full on cramp in my asshole and yes, it is even more painful than you can possibly imagine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 83

Today, I was excited to have a window seat on my three hour flight to New York. When I got to my row, I noticed the screaming newborn occupying the seat in front of me, and a pair of toddlers behind me. I then looked to my seat to find I have no window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 807

You deserved it 3 732

The Top

Today, I was at the mall and I saw a kid crying. I asked her "What's wrong sweetie, are you lost?" She ran away screaming "Help me!" I ended up having to explain to a dumb mall cop that I'm not a perv. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 389

You deserved it 3 871

Today, I finally got to sit down for dinner after a long day. In a truck stop restaurant, which specializes in "We don’t have that" or "Serve yourself, despite this being a sit down restaurant." The good news is that they charge more than fast food for less service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 96

Today, at work, a customer asked where the shovels were. I tried to ask him if he was looking for snow shovels or regular shovels. It came out, "Are you looking for show snovels?" He then awkwardly said he was looking for snow shovels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 739

You deserved it 164

Today, I carpooled with my co-worker whose girlfriend has left him. The radio was playing the song "Jar of Hearts." He then began to sing intensely, and broke down crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 182

You deserved it 3 263

Today, after submitting my college application, I noticed that I mistyped "math enthusiast" as "meth enthusiast". FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 061

You deserved it 7 973

Today, on the bus, water kept dripping on my head so I stood up to move. As I got up, the bus turned round a corner and I fell over into a man's lap. When I tried to get up, I slipped down between his legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 324

You deserved it 3 552