Love, Sex and Intimacy: Time's up

Time's up

By blueballed - 29/11/2014 21:08 - Germany - Kiel

Today, after a huge fight, my girlfriend started coming onto me. I thought it was actual make-up sex and went along with it. It was great, until she suddenly shoved me off her just as I was almost ready to come. She smugly announced she was dumping me, got dressed, then left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 895

You deserved it 8 269

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/03/2013 16:59 - Germany - Dortmund

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 730

You deserved it 10 556

By Bigfatfailure - 28/03/2013 10:02 - United States - Garden Grove

Today, I got dumped during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 514

You deserved it 9 856

The best part of breaking up…

By Anonymous - 19/10/2009 23:51 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 045

You deserved it 8 843

By whysheheartless - 03/11/2009 07:24 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 894

You deserved it 3 067

Life imitating art, or…?

By Bik - 27/06/2023 22:00

Today, some filthy creep grabbed my girlfriend's ass in front of me. I smashed his face in, as would be expected. Afterwards, we had wild sex, then she cried, told me how frightened my "unprovoked violent response" made her, and kicked me out. I'm now in a seedy motel, wondering what the hell happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 069

You deserved it 411

Who the **** are you?

By fuckingtrollingskankwhoreshitwankcuntfuck - 13/07/2013 17:33 - United States - Enfield

Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when a girl came out of nowhere, screaming at me for cheating on her, and saying she was dumping me. I've never seen her before, and she was almost grinning during her little act, but my girlfriend believed it, and I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 386

You deserved it 4 159

By misunderstood - 05/09/2010 10:56 - Australia

Today, after having a fight with my boyfriend, we had what I thought to be the best make-up sex, because he seemed so happy and upbeat. Turns out he misunderstood. He was happy because he thought it was break-up sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 652

You deserved it 6 377

By thanksbabe - 12/01/2013 06:32 - United States

Today, after a week of intense fighting, my girlfriend of 4 years and I hung out. She told me she loved me, and I pointed out that last week she said she was going to dump me. Without missing a beat, she replied, "Only to scare you into submission." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 102

You deserved it 8 575

By Anonymous - 01/11/2014 18:23 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 857

You deserved it 5 521

Not cool

By no I've never asked for anal - 20/09/2015 13:44 - United States - Buffalo

Today, after weeks of my girlfriend constantly mentioning pegging and asking me to let her do it, I caved and figured I might as well stand by my "try anything once" rule. Her response? Saying she knew I was gay all along and dumping me. The fuck? FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 096

You deserved it 3 793

Aew 17

Sunday 30 November 2014 8:24

That's a cold, calculating ex girlfriend. She has excellent brakes as well.

Googolman 29

Sunday 30 November 2014 8:26

Well, you have to admire her impeccable timing.

Comments

Schrypt 15

Sunday 30 November 2014 8:42

you're better off without her

Eleora 19

Sunday 30 November 2014 8:46

Damn... that's cold.

akorpija 12

Sunday 30 November 2014 12:20

So cold even his balls turned blue!

flutterby789 8

Sunday 30 November 2014 8:53

you must have really pi**ed her off!!

slyde32 12

Sunday 30 November 2014 10:25

is that censorship really necessary?

foxwasalamb 24

Sunday 30 November 2014 13:30

y*s it is!

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Sunday 30 November 2014 14:13

The website is **** My Life. We don't worry about censorship here. ;)

Enslaved 36

Sunday 30 November 2014 17:34

No. The website is called FMyLife. The F just stands for ****. Why can't she censor herself if she wishes? Can you not figure out what she meant?

piedpiper303 29

Sunday 30 November 2014 18:31

You give '*****' on other peoples pages. I don't think they care about censorship #56

MarissaLovesNick 12

Sunday 30 November 2014 8:55

Sorry but your "ex girlfriend" is a ****. She just wanted one last time to **** you and then dump your ass.You deserve better just saying..#BlueBalls

kerstileann 26

Sunday 30 November 2014 9:14

#FUCKYOURHASHTAG

allplayedout 20

Sunday 30 November 2014 17:05

All of that indicates somebody who's devious and mad as hell (especially since we don't know what they were fighting about, maybe OP deserved it); in no way does it suggest "****--" whatever the **** that actually means anyway.

worldclassrager 39

Sunday 30 November 2014 8:58

She played her cards right...you on the other hand got completely owned... Well time for you to find someone better

Stryker_13 19

Sunday 30 November 2014 9:00

We need a follow up on this! I can't decide if he deserved it or not, cause what was the argument about? If it was something touchy then I would understand. But even then, it still might be too cold of her.

teentee401 36

Sunday 30 November 2014 17:16

Even if the guy was the asshole in the situation, what the girl did was cruel and unnecessary. If she really was that upset, they could've either talked it out, or she could've just dumped him. Instead she chose to lead on OP and be a conniving bitch about it.