Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Timing is everything

Timing is everything

By Anonymous - 27/01/2012 22:54 - France

Today, my girlfriend woefully admitted that she thinks of me more as a brother than as a boyfriend, all while I was still inside her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 985

You deserved it 3 403

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Same thing different taste

Not now

By Anonymous - 08/09/2009 04:16 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she looked up at me and said, "You look a lot like your brother." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 203

You deserved it 2 623

Useful idiot

By taintedlover - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Seattle

Today, my girlfriend admitted to my best friend that she basically just sees me as a dildo with annoying emotions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 559

You deserved it 7 735

By loserman - 29/04/2014 22:40 - United States - Frisco

Today, while at my brother's funeral, my girlfriend decided to tell me she'd been sleeping with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 796

You deserved it 3 781

By Anonymous - 17/04/2013 23:01 - United States - Bristol

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's a lesbian. And that she could only stay with me because I had a "girly face and voice". She also admitted to having a crush on my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 231

You deserved it 5 177

By RingAroundThe..SPLAT - 16/05/2012 04:10 - United States - Washington

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she was scared that she was more in love with me than I was in her, and that she was afraid I would leave her. So she left me instead. I'd been thinking about proposing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 967

You deserved it 2 882

By dollfacee - 09/07/2015 16:51 - United States

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he thinks I'm cheating on him, with my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 655

You deserved it 2 351

By Cinnamon - 18/07/2011 00:04 - Jamaica

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she thought I was cheating on her. With my own sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 197

You deserved it 4 377

Crushed

By Anonymous - 26/10/2022 03:00 - United Kingdom - Saint Ives

Today, I appreciated how much my older sister is engaged and fully appreciative of how wonderful my girlfriend is… until my girlfriend told me that she has a huge crush on my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 872

You deserved it 127

By Anonymous - 28/09/2009 16:28 - United States

Today, I was introduced to friends of my boyfriend as, "My other girlfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 774

You deserved it 4 097

No thanks

By SadIndianLife - 15/11/2015 21:00 - India - Delhi

Today, my girlfriend's mother is more into me than she is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 476

You deserved it 2 255

ByronJess 17

Saturday 28 January 2012 0:46

That makes you wonder exactly why she was still letting you sleep with her...

cjcstuart 7

Saturday 28 January 2012 0:46

Please tell me you pulled out...

Comments

Fmlsea 28

Saturday 28 January 2012 3:07

Time for a new gf

ninjabunny56 0

Saturday 28 January 2012 3:08

That's kinda creepy.... My girlfriend broke up with me the day after she told me that

geod69 8

Saturday 28 January 2012 3:11

Incest is the best

braxdan50 4

Saturday 28 January 2012 3:22

Oh brother! What the hell is wrong with that girl?!

TheJester12 15

Saturday 28 January 2012 3:23

that's .....disturbing

tennis06 7

Saturday 28 January 2012 3:27

doesn't matter had sex

no_neck_joe 0

Saturday 28 January 2012 3:30

I hope you at least had the decency to finish it off with a Joe dirt "you're my sister! you're my sister!"

candykidxxxx74 0

Saturday 28 January 2012 3:35

Hope she's pregnant

ahabsfan 14

Saturday 28 January 2012 3:38

By brother does she mean African American? Maybe it was a compliment. You know the stereotype. Way to go bro!

maelrice 7

Saturday 28 January 2012 3:39

Creepy.... look for another girl

Keywords

Transportation Cars Embarrassing Work Mental health Awkward Relatable Social Media Love AITA Am I overreacting? Annoying Family Sex Intimacy Coworkers Poopoo peepee Dentist Health Cute Dogs Animals Sleep My ex Shopping Cats Job interview Clothes Miscellaneous Weird

The Top

Today, my seventy-year-old male live-in landlord asked if I'd heard a low humming noise the last few nights, around midnight, as someone had mentioned it. I feigned ignorance, whilst silently lamenting the decline of my self-pleasure opportunities. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 456

You deserved it 283

Today, we are having work done and our chimney breast has a hole where a brick is missing. Well, my husband thought it would be funny to rig up some realistic spider leg things that would poke out of the hole next to my face. I had to wash the sofa cushion because I pissed myself from fright. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 89

The Top

Today, my dad reminded me that he expects me to try to get into a prestigious (read: top 5, braggable) university for undergrad. I just want to be normal and go to an above average school where I can thrive, instead of killing my mental health now and then mutilating its dead body after I go to college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 039

You deserved it 149

Today, my sisters took me to a gay bar to celebrate my birthday. All was going well, until the drag queens demanded anyone with a birthday on stage. My sisters forced me to go. Turns out, it was for a twerking contest. I can't dance and have social anxiety. When I got off the stage, I cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 184

You deserved it 178

Today, after international flights while being five months pregnant to elope with a good man, which my family disapproved of, then paying thousands for his visa with limited finances, he told me, after I struggled with breastfeeding days after the birth, that he didn’t care about me, and had only cared whilst his baby was inside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 421

Today, I was cleaning my recently late uncle's house. I found an old framed photo of a boy aged about 3. He's naked and shyly smiling to the camera, holding a heart-shaped sign that reads, "My penis is small, but my love is BIG." I showed it to my mom and asked who it was. She just snorted and said, "You were his favorite!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 659

You deserved it 113

Today, my boyfriend came over, got on his knees and took a small box out of his jacket. Then he narrowed his eyes, and said, “That’s funny, I can see your boogers from here. Anyway, wanna get married?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 689

You deserved it 92

Today, I got the earlier bus to avoid my ex after a painful breakup. He had the same idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 640

You deserved it 4 042