Sex, Weird, Wanker and Intimacy: TMI, dude

TMI, dude

By linren - 28/03/2009 18:40 - United States

Today, I was riding in the car with my new boyfriend. He had "something serious" to tell me. He started to emotionally confess his addiction to masturbation. In detail. The drive was two hours long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 311

You deserved it 7 649

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Same thing different taste

By Me - 31/01/2010 05:01 - United States

Today, I got to talk to the guy I like. Thinking it would be about something pleasant. I was completely wrong. It was about the guy who sits in front of me and his masturbation problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 658

You deserved it 3 169

By ac13 - 27/06/2010 18:03 - United States

Today, I called my boyfriend to tell him how excited I was to drive 12 hours to see him and his new house. His girlfriend answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 028

You deserved it 3 793

By Taylor - 21/04/2014 04:04 - United States - Dubuque

Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 352

You deserved it 8 189

Timing is important

By effingdoucher - 30/01/2011 06:07 - United States

Today, I was having sex with a guy I met at my friend's party. He stopped mid-thrust, climbed off, and started talking about how nervous he is about buying his first car next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 841

You deserved it 11 029

By 5220 - 21/04/2009 13:13 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were driving back to college. He broke up with me 2 hours into the 3 hour drive. I had to sit in the car with him for the last hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 821

You deserved it 4 631

By Anonymous - 24/05/2009 12:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's dad asked me if I wanted to drive his 2008 Jaguar XKR. Excitedly, I agreed. He then spent the next hour discussing with me how masturbation is a great alternative to sex, and a great way to remain abstinent. I didn't get to drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 033

You deserved it 4 860

BFF

By imabadperson - 06/03/2010 12:24 - United States

Today, I introduced myself as a sex addict, as a joke, to break the ice while meeting new people. One of my friends took me seriously and said he was a porn addict. He told me how happy he was that he had found someone else who had the same feelings and was so happy he could confide in me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 523

You deserved it 44 540

By orgasmicriding - 22/12/2012 22:55 - United States - Wyandotte

Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 252

You deserved it 7 004

By Maria39018 - 01/08/2009 18:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to be totally honest with each other. We even told some of our deepest, darkest secrets, in hopes of strengthening our relationship. He told me he had a diaper fetish, and would love to see me in one. There goes my sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 526

You deserved it 13 712

And today on Maury…

By Anonymous - 24/04/2020 20:00

Today, I was driving my best friend home when he admitted to being gay. I was glad he could trust me with a secret like this. Until he admitted to having sex with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 704

You deserved it 207

Aldrasio 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 23:02

Sounds like he was trying for a pity ****.

rockandrollbf 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 23:03

Oh, that sucks. One of my ex-boyfriends 'confessed' the same thing to me, but it was about watching ****. Once. ._____.

Comments

bioclock 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 23:47

For all of you saying that this girl is a bitch - Note that this is a NEW boyfriend. If I'd just started going out with someone, and he gave me a detailed, two hour lecture on how he is addicted to masturbation, I would be incredibly uncomfortable. Really serious conversations and confessions like that should be saved for when the relationship has become a bit more intimate, or after you've been going out for a while. And for two hours? Holy crap. I mean, I've had confessions from boyfriends before, and I'm okay with them talking about sexually explicit stuff, but after two hours I would feel so awkward. Don't be so quick to judge.

eggjuggler 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 8:23

I see where you're coming from, but I still don't think this is an FML... More like a bit of a TMI.

knitbitch 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 23:49

I laughed so hard at this I peed my pants a little. I feel bad for you, but telling everyone who reads FML is kind of...bitchy. Hope fully "Linren" is anonymous, or her boyfriend does not read this site.

mikemanray 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 23:55

Maybe if you were better in bed he wouldn't have that problem! OOOOO FYL again!

ejvlols 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 0:01

Masturbating is natural. If your boyfriend trusts that you will understand his addicting then that means that he cares and likes you.

BamxBitch 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 0:01

Hahhaahahahaa @ #23. But, yeah, I hope you gave him some road head after that. Poor guy.

Freak_Feet 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 0:12

If he's your boyfriend, you should care about him enough for this not to be considered a FML. Show a little compassion.

SPQR_fml 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 0:20

Sounds like you're not mature enough to be dating just yet. Hope he finds a better girl and soon.

forthelulz_fml 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 0:23

Wow, he sounds like every male human being in the world. Congrats on this mind blowing revelation. For the record, I just jerked it twice while reading your FML. Addiction? Nah

kwbuzz23wk 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 0:51

#28 "For the record, I just jerked it twice while reading your FML. Addiction? Nah" premature? Yeah

hpnerd 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 0:51

there's a difference between healthy, regular masturbation and an addiction to it. starting off the new relationship by saying she won't be able to satisfy him because he's addicted to his hand sucks for her. poor OP.