Intimacy: TMI

TMI

By Anonymous - 24/01/2012 10:39 - Australia

Today, I played Call Of Duty online against someone who turned out to be wanking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 217

You deserved it 7 587

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Same thing different taste

Heated gaming moment

By Anonymous - 26/11/2014 19:41 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I agreed to give my husband head while he played Call of Duty. I was happy because he enjoyed it at first, until he started getting his ass kicked in the game. He lost and angrily blamed me for distracting him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 132

You deserved it 6 806

By Noname - 16/02/2009 00:33 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job, he was twitching and moving around and saying "oh yeah" then he said "take that bitch". I looked up to see he was only excited about how he is domination in Call of Duty 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 044

You deserved it 10 598

How could you?

By Anonymous - 16/08/2022 16:00

Today, my girlfriend punched me in the back of the neck because I was talking to a woman online. It was a public Call Of Duty match, I have no control over who I play with, plus I wasn’t even talking specifically to whoever this woman was, just to the people in general like all COD players. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 044

You deserved it 176

By jinxofsocal - 21/06/2009 04:16 - United States

Today, was my boyfriend's birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 401

You deserved it 27 536

By Laughluv - 02/01/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, I realized that I have been playing a little too much Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. I realized this when I was watching a youtube video and there was someone walking in the background who I impulsively tried to gun down and kill by moving my mouse over him and clicking repeatedly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 809

You deserved it 36 853

By Anonymous - 21/03/2009 07:18 - Canada

Today, I was playing Xbox live with my boyfriend. I was bored so I decided to mess around. So I put down my remote and unbuttoned his pants. Two minutes in he said, "Hurry up, we're getting killed without you. Besides you're way better at video games." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 353

You deserved it 13 296

Gamer girl woes

By justanothergamergirl - 17/04/2019 20:00

Today, and for the past two weeks, I decided to try online gaming, as it's something I've never done before. I already have a creep stalking me because I mentioned I was single and he's a horny virgin. Remind me never to talk about my lack of love life online again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 827

You deserved it 1 184

By JJ - 03/10/2015 07:42 - United States - Irwin

Today, I was savagely beating my wife on Call of Duty, since she demanded that I play normally and not hold back. 15 minutes later, she was raging at me, calling me a bastard and saying she wished we'd never married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 549

You deserved it 4 477

By The_Life - 12/10/2016 13:26 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I'm staying at my boyfriend's house and things were getting heated when he got a call from one of his mates wanting to play Counter Strike. Next thing I know, I'm laying in bed by myself listening to him rage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 060

You deserved it 1 282

Rolled

By shushingmoon - 18/09/2009 19:15 - United States

Today, I was in class, playing online poker and keeping up my winning record. I eventually got seated against a guy who beat me at every hand. I heard laughing behind me after I lost all my winnings. The guy behind me had just made an account, looked over my shoulder, and won all my money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 951

You deserved it 53 663

JRFaceless 8

Tuesday 24 January 2012 15:52

And this is different than playing CoD any other time?

Magic_Mushroom 7

Tuesday 24 January 2012 15:52

Idk that sounds like fun to me

Comments

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 24 January 2012 16:12

This gives "playing with yourself" a whole new meaning.

TheFirstSamurai 18

Tuesday 24 January 2012 16:36

Gives a whole new meaning to the word "foreplay" as well.

CrankDatAsss 4

Thursday 26 January 2012 0:01

hahaha nice one

DaKillaMafia 2

Tuesday 24 January 2012 16:20

I've given up on Call of Duty

honeybadger123 0

Tuesday 24 January 2012 18:02

fag

Random017 7

Tuesday 24 January 2012 16:21

Is this an FYL because of the wanking or because you lost to the wanker?

kjb1234 5

Tuesday 24 January 2012 17:13

Love Your profile pic

Iniguez01 4

Thursday 26 January 2012 6:21

I'm a sing the doom song

raphanne_fml 33

Tuesday 24 January 2012 16:22

HEADSHOT!

LiyIa_fml 8

Tuesday 24 January 2012 19:46

Groin shot.

honeybadger123 0

Tuesday 24 January 2012 16:23

well did you win at least?

FMLsince94 5

Tuesday 24 January 2012 16:24

Thats half the people online that doesnt have a life

GoW_Chick 14

Tuesday 24 January 2012 16:36

So with that logic that would mean half the people reading this are wanking off while doing so, that's, um, ....nice to know?

Awsumuzzie 12

Tuesday 24 January 2012 16:47

Following up with GoW_chick, are we obligated to fulfill that statistic? If so, do we choose which side of the fence we fall in?

CryMoreFMLs 14

Tuesday 24 January 2012 23:49

56 - I don't know, but I fall on the fence. It's quite painful, it has barbed wire...

Isolaytore 3

Tuesday 24 January 2012 16:25

YDI for playing Call of Duty.

L1v3_L0v3_Lau9h 18

Tuesday 24 January 2012 16:48

36- CoD is awesome! I don't see how he deserves it.

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 24 January 2012 17:11

Don't feed the troll.

L1v3_L0v3_Lau9h 18

Tuesday 24 January 2012 17:44

My bad :/

tylersign 11

Tuesday 24 January 2012 20:38

36- Yep, you know best. Happy now? *troll dead* Bye.

tylerbro 3

Tuesday 24 January 2012 16:31

Did you win?

zingline89 18

Tuesday 24 January 2012 16:31

People need to stop playing this game every wanking moment.

Jewnut 0

Tuesday 24 January 2012 16:35

Was he any good? Mad multi-tasking skills

Keywords

AITA Awkward Love Embarrassing Weddings Drunk Sex Intimacy Work Miscellaneous Party Shopping Landlords Family Cute My ex Poopoo peepee Vacation Roommate Weird Transportation Cars Accident Cancer Ironic Relatable Proposal Bosses Empathy Furniture

The Top

Today, I fainted in my bathroom, full on naked and sprawled out on my bathroom floor. When I came to, I was in pain from landing on my side and very disoriented. I sat up and could see my husband just roll over in bed and go to sleep. He didn’t even ask me if I was OK. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 58

Today, my fiance called off our engagement, all because I let myself go due to comfort eating and depression since my mother passed and I got fired from work. He told me to lose 60 pounds or he “won’t consummate the marriage with my lard ass.” Our wedding and honeymoon were less than a month away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 451

The Top

Today, the guy I've had a crush on came over to my house. My Dad came in to see how we we're doing, looks at me and says "Man... You've REALLY been puttin' on the pounds!", pokes me in the stomach a few times, and leaves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 495

You deserved it 4 176

Today, I showed my son the old trick of turning a calculator upside down and spelling "BOOBIES" on it in numbers. He laughed, then spent nearly 20 minutes trying to spell "COCKS", before giving up and hurling the calculator across the room. I wish my sperm had a warranty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 463

You deserved it 6 895

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to dress in all black with a ski mask and use my spare key to break into my house as a joke. He though it was even funnier when I jumped out the window and broke my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 620

You deserved it 6 335

Today, I got an email from my professor with my grade for a paper. It said, "Solid writing, but you should have proofread your final draft more carefully." In a moment of annoyance, I typed in the reply box, "God should have proofread your FACE more carefully." My elbow hit the send button. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 745

You deserved it 68 554

Today, I realized how bad my grey hair problem has gotten as I noticed I had grey pubes. I'm only 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 924

You deserved it 210

Today, my daughter actually asked me who Martin Luther king Jr was. This girl, this African American daughter of mine, with full access to the internet, who has completed a college education, doesn’t know who one of the most important black men in history is. I need to lie down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 755

You deserved it 993

TMI