Love and Health: Today, a baseball bat fell on my head while my boyfriend and...

By Anonymous - 24/08/2012 21:10 - United Kingdom - Walsall

Today, a baseball bat fell on my head while my boyfriend and I were cuddling. The same baseball bat that he keeps next to the bed, because he genuinely fears a zombie outbreak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 228

You deserved it 3 875

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Same thing different taste

Good to know

By DeadScared - 19/09/2011 00:23 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 015

You deserved it 3 567

By Anonymous - 04/02/2010 08:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, he'd kill me before I got infected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 792

You deserved it 7 817

Wuss

By scaredy cat - 09/08/2020 14:02

Today, my boyfriend is completely obsessed with zombie and horror movies. I don’t care what he watches, the only problem is the big wuss has horrible thrashing nightmares. Last night he thrashed so hard, he elbowed me in the face. I have a big swollen purple knot right on my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 570

You deserved it 183

Crime prevention

By Anonymous - 07/03/2022 18:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend keeps a sword under the bed, a proper sharp 'knight on horseback' sword instead of the typical baseball bat for burglars, I found this out after I was groping under there for a dropped earring and cut one of my fingers down to the bone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 984

You deserved it 178

By secret_source - 17/05/2012 05:05 - United States

Today, my first date consisted of him and me in the emergency room of the hospital after his little brother hit me in the face with a baseball bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 093

You deserved it 2 009

By StillBetterThanTwilight - 28/08/2012 15:56 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, my boyfriend told me that he had once been possessed by demons, and that he now sleeps with a knife under his pillow for protection from, "The dark spirits that are feasting upon his soul." I'm not sure that I'll be sleeping over anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 589

You deserved it 2 608

By Anonymous - 21/08/2015 19:02 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I overheard my husband telling his friend that he wished a zombie apocalypse would happen in real life, so he could take me out back and shoot me without having to worry about going to prison. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 566

You deserved it 2 628

By CA19oo - 20/03/2012 01:03 - United States - Buford

Today, I found out what it feels like to get hit in the head with a bat. Not the wooden kind though. The one that bites and claws you when it gets stuck in your hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 748

You deserved it 2 078

By Username - 13/08/2011 11:45 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a scary movie. I was starting to get a small headache so he gently brushed my hair. During a scary part he jumped and hit me in the head as hard as he could with the brush. I'm still recovering from the migraine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 657

You deserved it 5 530

By Anonymous - 07/11/2012 15:44 - United States

Today, despite my pleading, my boyfriend mounted a set of bullhorns above our headboard. Guess what came crashing down on our heads at 2am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 552

You deserved it 2 532

bargarlm 2

Saturday 25 August 2012 2:43

Well at least you got banged?

Greendaycheese 12

Saturday 25 August 2012 2:43

Well at least he's prepared?...

Comments

IamTheBatman349 1

Saturday 25 August 2012 9:46

At least he has his head in the right place. I'd advise him to put a sword under your bed. Sharp, and doesn't run out of bullets. :)

kalbrek009 20

Saturday 25 August 2012 10:13

I just want to know how a bat that sits NEXT to the bed fell on op's head as if it came from ABOVE the bed (does it levitate of its own accord) or does op mean it fell against the side of the bed where their head was and bumped them in the head?

AholeCop 11

Saturday 25 August 2012 11:50

Most guys don't like protection in bed.

afairshake 8

Saturday 25 August 2012 11:58

Um time for a new boyfriend for you and therapy for your boyfriend he's obviously watched Zombieland one to many times

KiddNYC1O 20

Saturday 25 August 2012 12:11

Just don't forget the rules.

callous 2

Saturday 25 August 2012 12:16

Smart man. You'll appreciate him during the next zombie apocalypse.

metalwolf 17

Saturday 25 August 2012 12:48

He has the right idea in preparing for emergency, but when dealing with something like a hoard of zombies, if they make it to your bed while you are sleeping, you have already lost.

Special_Psycho 8

Saturday 25 August 2012 12:58

For all you know, the government COULD be planning on making the outbreak right now. And besides, better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it. PLUS, you got banged! ^_^ + :Þ