Love and Health: Today, a baseball bat fell on my head while my boyfriend and...

By Anonymous - 24/08/2012 21:10 - United Kingdom - Walsall

Today, a baseball bat fell on my head while my boyfriend and I were cuddling. The same baseball bat that he keeps next to the bed, because he genuinely fears a zombie outbreak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 228

You deserved it 3 875

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Same thing different taste

Good to know

By DeadScared - 19/09/2011 00:23 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 015

You deserved it 3 567

By Anonymous - 04/02/2010 08:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, he'd kill me before I got infected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 792

You deserved it 7 817

Wuss

By scaredy cat - 09/08/2020 14:02

Today, my boyfriend is completely obsessed with zombie and horror movies. I don’t care what he watches, the only problem is the big wuss has horrible thrashing nightmares. Last night he thrashed so hard, he elbowed me in the face. I have a big swollen purple knot right on my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 570

You deserved it 183

Crime prevention

By Anonymous - 07/03/2022 18:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend keeps a sword under the bed, a proper sharp 'knight on horseback' sword instead of the typical baseball bat for burglars, I found this out after I was groping under there for a dropped earring and cut one of my fingers down to the bone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 984

You deserved it 178

By secret_source - 17/05/2012 05:05 - United States

Today, my first date consisted of him and me in the emergency room of the hospital after his little brother hit me in the face with a baseball bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 093

You deserved it 2 009

By StillBetterThanTwilight - 28/08/2012 15:56 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, my boyfriend told me that he had once been possessed by demons, and that he now sleeps with a knife under his pillow for protection from, "The dark spirits that are feasting upon his soul." I'm not sure that I'll be sleeping over anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 589

You deserved it 2 608

By Anonymous - 21/08/2015 19:02 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I overheard my husband telling his friend that he wished a zombie apocalypse would happen in real life, so he could take me out back and shoot me without having to worry about going to prison. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 566

You deserved it 2 628

By CA19oo - 20/03/2012 01:03 - United States - Buford

Today, I found out what it feels like to get hit in the head with a bat. Not the wooden kind though. The one that bites and claws you when it gets stuck in your hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 748

You deserved it 2 078

By Username - 13/08/2011 11:45 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a scary movie. I was starting to get a small headache so he gently brushed my hair. During a scary part he jumped and hit me in the head as hard as he could with the brush. I'm still recovering from the migraine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 657

You deserved it 5 530

By Anonymous - 07/11/2012 15:44 - United States

Today, despite my pleading, my boyfriend mounted a set of bullhorns above our headboard. Guess what came crashing down on our heads at 2am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 552

You deserved it 2 532

bargarlm 2

Saturday 25 August 2012 2:43

Well at least you got banged?

Greendaycheese 12

Saturday 25 August 2012 2:43

Well at least he's prepared?...

Comments

LadyJoker21 0

Friday 31 August 2012 12:39

How the hell did it fall on ur head If it's next to the bed ??

Mollyneonfox 9

Thursday 20 December 2012 2:53

You'll thank him later

seacadet 18

Tuesday 15 January 2013 3:46

Pfft, I have my shotgun... Much more effective for that first walker in my room....

Milotiiic 9

Thursday 13 June 2013 19:22

I see no problem here! I sleep with a baseball bat by my bed and a Bowie knife under my pillow in case of a Zombie Apocalypse!

amberdea404 28

Monday 2 November 2015 18:53

How do you get hit in the head by a bat that is next to the bed?

Tomato_Cheese 22

Tuesday 1 December 2015 23:01

Not racist or anything, but you're lucky it wasn't America. Rather a bat than a fully automatic rifle.

lucasj23 11

Sunday 15 July 2018 6:59

if he keeps it next to the bed how did it fall on your head?

wrenavery90 12

Monday 22 August 2022 16:02

If it's next to the bed how in the world did it fall on your head?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was upset after my boyfriend and I broke up. My best friend heard and told me she would be right over. Three hours of waiting later, she stumbles in wasted. She had been at the bar, with my ex, making sure he was okay. For me, I just got a list of all the drinks she had that night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 084

You deserved it 2 489

Today, my sister was concerned that her daughter (my niece) was sick, and hesitant to take her to the ER. I asked if she'd eaten something she shouldn't have, and she replied, "No, especially since we feed her the most healthy food we can." This was fine until I flipped out when she said, "We even give her raw milk so that she'll be strong." FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 121

The Top

Today, after I finally laid down from a long day and was about to fall asleep, I realized I forgot to set my alarm. I don't own an alarm clock and my alarm is on my phone. Which was in my car. I live on the 15th floor of an apartment building and our parking garage is across the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 037

You deserved it 10 121

Today, I was at work, stocking shelves. A customer got mad because I was in the way of her "shopping time" and knocked down all the work I had done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 110

You deserved it 1 385

Today, my little brother, who is 11, explained to me how babies are made. I’m 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 879

You deserved it 18 933

Today, I went to my grandma's yard sale, only to find my baby pictures being sold for 25 cents each. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 030

You deserved it 3 481

Today, I went to my son's parent teacher conference. Imagine my shock when I found out his second grade teacher is the girl I chastised at Walmart yesterday for being covered in trashy tattoos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 1 879

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because I was having an affair in The Elder Scrolls Online. While ranting to my online elf husband, he got upset that I had a real life boyfriend and dumped me too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 1 855

Same thing different taste

Good to know

Wuss

Crime prevention

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