Love and Health: Today, a baseball bat fell on my head while my boyfriend and...

By Anonymous - 24/08/2012 21:10 - United Kingdom - Walsall

Today, a baseball bat fell on my head while my boyfriend and I were cuddling. The same baseball bat that he keeps next to the bed, because he genuinely fears a zombie outbreak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 228

You deserved it 3 875

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Same thing different taste

Good to know

By DeadScared - 19/09/2011 00:23 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 015

You deserved it 3 567

By Anonymous - 04/02/2010 08:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, he'd kill me before I got infected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 792

You deserved it 7 817

Wuss

By scaredy cat - 09/08/2020 14:02

Today, my boyfriend is completely obsessed with zombie and horror movies. I don’t care what he watches, the only problem is the big wuss has horrible thrashing nightmares. Last night he thrashed so hard, he elbowed me in the face. I have a big swollen purple knot right on my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 570

You deserved it 183

Crime prevention

By Anonymous - 07/03/2022 18:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend keeps a sword under the bed, a proper sharp 'knight on horseback' sword instead of the typical baseball bat for burglars, I found this out after I was groping under there for a dropped earring and cut one of my fingers down to the bone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 984

You deserved it 178

By secret_source - 17/05/2012 05:05 - United States

Today, my first date consisted of him and me in the emergency room of the hospital after his little brother hit me in the face with a baseball bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 093

You deserved it 2 009

By StillBetterThanTwilight - 28/08/2012 15:56 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, my boyfriend told me that he had once been possessed by demons, and that he now sleeps with a knife under his pillow for protection from, "The dark spirits that are feasting upon his soul." I'm not sure that I'll be sleeping over anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 589

You deserved it 2 608

By Anonymous - 21/08/2015 19:02 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I overheard my husband telling his friend that he wished a zombie apocalypse would happen in real life, so he could take me out back and shoot me without having to worry about going to prison. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 566

You deserved it 2 628

By CA19oo - 20/03/2012 01:03 - United States - Buford

Today, I found out what it feels like to get hit in the head with a bat. Not the wooden kind though. The one that bites and claws you when it gets stuck in your hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 748

You deserved it 2 078

By Username - 13/08/2011 11:45 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a scary movie. I was starting to get a small headache so he gently brushed my hair. During a scary part he jumped and hit me in the head as hard as he could with the brush. I'm still recovering from the migraine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 657

You deserved it 5 530

By Anonymous - 07/11/2012 15:44 - United States

Today, despite my pleading, my boyfriend mounted a set of bullhorns above our headboard. Guess what came crashing down on our heads at 2am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 552

You deserved it 2 532

bargarlm 2

Saturday 25 August 2012 2:43

Well at least you got banged?

Greendaycheese 12

Saturday 25 August 2012 2:43

Well at least he's prepared?...

Comments

Primmly 11

Saturday 25 August 2012 6:24

When there is a zombie outbreak, I hope he leaves you behind.

tressie_fml 6

Saturday 25 August 2012 6:33

Silly people, a baseball bat won't save you.

afunnyterdcody 5

Saturday 25 August 2012 6:38

I keep a nailed flail by mine

Vulkfury 8

Saturday 25 August 2012 6:40

Smart guy, the zombie apocalypse is going to happen

Metallica36176 16

Saturday 25 August 2012 6:54

Question: How did the bat that he keeps "next to his bed" "fall" on your head? You sure the zombie outbreak belief is "genuine" and not a quick back up for breaking up? xD

kyat288 9

Saturday 25 August 2012 7:27

ydi for dating that fruit cake ;)

Rabidkid 14

Saturday 25 August 2012 8:00

Its always good to have a healthy fear

wagonbacker9 8

Saturday 25 August 2012 8:55

That's stupid. A bat will do him no good vs zombies.

zyme 11

Saturday 25 August 2012 9:08

A baseball bat won't protect him when the zombies attack...

jman112 2

Saturday 25 August 2012 9:28

To all people saying a bat wouldnt do shit to a zombie. Zombies Used to be human just cuz they are infected doesnt mean they are immortal. If you swung a bat at a humans head you think hed still be alright? No neither would a zombie. Plus using a gun is good but it attracts more zombies with the sound.