Cats and Intimacy: Today, a cat came up to me on the pavement so I petted it a little....

By pussystroker - 19/11/2009 17:20 - United Kingdom

Today, a cat came up to me on the pavement so I petted it a little. An elderly man rode past on his bicycle and shouted, "I'd like to stroke your pussy too!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 329

You deserved it 4 001

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/01/2011 05:31 - Canada

Today, I was walking down the street and I saw an old man, and me feeling nice I asked him if I could help him cross the street. He responded with: "Only if you let me touch your tits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 241

You deserved it 6 619

By and god shat - 11/07/2014 23:38 - United States - Klamath Falls

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 289

You deserved it 9 085

By Jake - 29/04/2009 08:06 - Australia

Today, as I was taking an evening jog around my neighbourhood, I passed an elderly woman. I grinned at her as sign of friendliness to a common pedestrian. She grinned back. Whilst staring at my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 108

You deserved it 6 227

Smack my bitch up

By Anonymous - 02/06/2023 01:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I got naked after coming home. It's super hot where I live and I wanted to cool down before getting dressed again. As I was standing there, minding my own business, the cat I'm pet-sitting for a friend reached up and clawed me on the vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 228

By Scared - 05/06/2012 00:54 - United States - Arlington

Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 659

You deserved it 3 402

By ohman - 17/07/2009 17:29 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 269

You deserved it 8 190

By o_O - 23/06/2013 17:26 - United States - Bowling Green

Today, I took my cat to the vet. The creepy vet looked me in the eyes and said, "This isn't the only pussy I'll be checking out today." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 293

You deserved it 4 149

Excitation morning

By Anonymous - 14/11/2019 05:00

Today, while I was in bed, my cat licked my nipple. It turned me on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 961

You deserved it 694

By Noname - 04/02/2009 11:23 - Canada

Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 094

You deserved it 38 828

By prevostsrocklike - 11/05/2009 12:38 - United States

Today, I gave my wife a cat. The first thing it did when it got out of the box was scratch the shit out of my leg. Next, it ran up to my wife and purred. She said, "Good cat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 998

You deserved it 10 554

Tarak_fml 7

Thursday 19 November 2009 23:16

Epicly awesome

Bloodknight 22

Thursday 19 November 2009 23:21

OMG! I DIED when I read this, bwahaha! Thank you for the laugh!

Comments

jmanjonEs 0

Sunday 22 November 2009 15:29

Roflmao

XCAILIExCURSEDX 0

Thursday 26 November 2009 5:45

AHAHAHAHAH WTF damn i would kill myself if that happened to me

lvjordanln 0

Thursday 26 November 2009 7:03

bahahahahahaha thats amazing!!

BaBiiSpAnKy821 0

Saturday 28 November 2009 5:03

thats what they call a PEDALfile (: (hahah like a bikee )

emelvin 0

Monday 30 November 2009 1:37

totally just died. thats great!! i dont see how this is an fml tho, if that had happened to me id still be laughing. too funny.

Eveline_Roze 0

Saturday 5 December 2009 2:29

epic! that would have made my day. lmfao

peacelove1297 0

Friday 29 January 2010 1:49

omg is your name Olivia Jordan????

katiewubsmusic 0

Saturday 5 December 2009 20:42

You should have yelled after him, "What pussy?" He'd be like Oh SHIT SHES A ******* TRANS, I DUN WAN HER DICK!

Jonomazin 0

Sunday 6 December 2009 1:40

Hahahahahaha.

MangeMoi_fml 0

Thursday 10 December 2009 6:09

This upsets me. Most stray cats almost always run away when they see people..unless its like a neighbors cat or one you're very familiar with..you see Im trying to give yu the benefit of the doubt here..Ugh. This story seems too perfectly put together just to be able to throw the "stroke your pussy" thing in there. An on the off chance that this is actually true, then YDI for liking cats.