Money: Today, a few freshmen jumped my fence. They decided to take a...

By pool party - 29/05/2013 00:48 - United States - Rockford

Today, a few freshmen jumped my fence. They decided to take a dip in the pool, so I pulled out a paintball gun. I unloaded over 100 rounds, painting their backs bright yellow. It also dyed my pool yellow, and it'll apparently cost around $500 to repair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 310

You deserved it 59 091

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Same thing different taste

By pist - 13/05/2018 01:30

Today, I was lying in a lawn chair next to my wooden fence when a yellow liquid started spraying me. The neighbor's douchebag son was peeing through the small hole in the fence and soaked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 732

You deserved it 298

By nl4 - 01/11/2013 23:55 - Israel - Tel Aviv

Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 906

You deserved it 56 268

Slick moves

By Frank - 30/12/2024 20:00 - Australia - Daylesford

Today, I tried doing a backflip off the diving board into our hotel's swimming pool. Instead, I flopped into the pool so hard it sounded like a cannonball, and now my stomach is bright red. My friends will probably bring this up for the rest of our holiday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104

You deserved it 490

By Jerrrr - 27/05/2009 00:22 - United States

Today, I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants. When he returned, he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool. I pull out my 22. rifle and shot at it, but the bullet missed and popped a hole in my pool. 15,000 gallons of water flooded my basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 039

You deserved it 287 523

Defense!

By ruined_suit - 17/04/2009 21:12 - United States

Today, I came home from work to find that my neighbor's trash bins were still on the curb. While returning the bins to her backyard, her kid ran out and shot me with a paintball gun. Multiple times. He thought I was a burglar and ruined my new suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 114

You deserved it 7 132

By no - 17/11/2014 02:26 - United States

Today, I got in trouble for shooting my paintball gun at a piece of wood, so my dad told me to go wash it. While I was washing it, he shot me several times in the back, yelling, "That's payback for being born." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 643

You deserved it 4 003

By Anonymous - 25/03/2014 21:53 - United States - Springboro

Today, while lifeguarding, a kid thought it'd be hilarious to take a crap in the pool. The other kids freaked out and rushed to get out. Several of them slipped on the way out and hurt themselves fairly badly. Two parents are now threatening to sue us, and my boss blames me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 518

You deserved it 3 845

By Z - 26/11/2012 10:26 - Australia

Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 795

You deserved it 25 012

By Unluggee - 04/06/2009 10:38 - United Kingdom

Today, at a party, my three friends and I thought it would be fun to urinate in a jug. We dislike the neighbours, so decided to throw the contents of the jug over the fence into their garden. It hit a tree and splashed back. I ended up covered in our piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 960

You deserved it 188 782

By BOHICA123 - 08/10/2013 02:08 - United States - Brighton

Today, being so desperate for money, I accepted a job in which I get shot at with paintballs for 6 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 190

You deserved it 5 288

WonkeyDonkey 10

Wednesday 29 May 2013 9:52

Good job! I think they deserved it and the $500 you have to pay was worth every cent ;)

SkoomaKi 27

Wednesday 29 May 2013 9:52

They'll never mess with you again, that's worth more I reckon.

Comments

cman1322 9

Wednesday 29 May 2013 22:06

Atta boy

ohioain 18

Wednesday 29 May 2013 22:19

I would have done the same thing. Them dumb asses. :P

sexySGT 8

Wednesday 29 May 2013 22:41

you should have used marbles

worldclassrager 39

Wednesday 29 May 2013 23:40

Fun but not worth it..,

stanjohnson 11

Thursday 30 May 2013 0:57

You do realize that this is aggravasted assault?

TipTopCaduceus 11

Thursday 30 May 2013 3:41

Pretty sure it doesn't get bumped up to aggravated unless there's permanent damage/maiming. And I can't imagine assault charges are going to go too far when the "victims" were trespassers.

RealtreeGirl23 9

Thursday 30 May 2013 1:10

It was worth it. I wish people willingly jumped in my shooting range so I could paint them a different color. Too bad you didn't have red paintballs....