Music and Miscellaneous: Today, a friend sent me a song. I didn't have time to listen...

By Microtron - 03/03/2015 00:48 - United States - Oxford

Today, a friend sent me a song. I didn't have time to listen to it all, so I listened to the first 30 seconds of it to get a feel for it. It was nice and uplifting, so I sent it to my mom. Turns out, after the first 30 seconds, the singer brightens his day by singing about his enormous penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 214

You deserved it 13 444

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Same thing different taste

Earbleach

By Anonymous - 01/05/2013 16:13 - United States

Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey, except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 429

You deserved it 5 580

By badsinger - 04/06/2010 09:38 - New Zealand

Today, my fiancée told me she was having a bad day while we were lying in bed. Just as she was about to fall asleep I thought it would be sweet if I sang her a song that her Mom sang to her when she was a child. Instead, I was told to shut the fuck up and that I sucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 075

You deserved it 15 544

Sing it again

By Anonymous - 23/04/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I just learned that the silly song my parents taught me as a small child, and would sometimes make me sing for the family, is actually a very thinly veiled series of penis jokes. Why just now? Because I hadn't thought about it for years, until my grandma brought it up at a reunion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 80

By Anonymous - 18/12/2013 01:55 - China - Shanghai

Today, I sang a romantic song I wrote for my girlfriend. She laughed at my soprano. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 250

You deserved it 8 389

By embarrassedinretail - 20/01/2010 10:01 - Australia

Today, whilst at work, my dad decided to call me and sing an entire rendition of 'The Gambler' by Kenny Rogers. There was a big line of people, and my boss had been standing nearby checking out my phone. I had to stand there and listen to the whole song. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 908

You deserved it 4 938

He bangs the drums

By PhilDavisDied? - 30/09/2010 10:33 - France

Today, after pulling up to my girlfriend's house for dinner with her parents, one of my favorite songs begin to play on the radio. After my 3 minutes of air drumming, I look up to see my girlfriend and her parents bouncing with laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 128

You deserved it 35 051

Belter

By Anonymous - 11/10/2010 22:29 - Canada

Today, I attended a musical. A new song was played, and I thought I'd heard it before because it sounded strangely familiar. I sang along quietly as the song progressed, positive I knew it. Anticipating the next chorus, I belted out the lyrics with all my heart. It was instrumental. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 009

You deserved it 49 562

By tonedef - 09/07/2013 23:35 - United States

Today, after spending weeks working on a song that meant a lot to me, I reluctantly posted it online. The "friend" who'd convinced me to post it, commented, "This is the worst shit I've ever heard." He got 30 likes, along with a barrage of agreeing, equally terrible comments. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 263

You deserved it 5 725

It's still a bop! It slaps!

By Please find a new song - 20/11/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, I was once again woken up to my dad blasting The Beatles' song "Birthday." He does this whenever it's anyone's birthday (in this case, my mom's) and he knows a lot of people. It was funny at first, but now it's getting old very quickly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 234

You deserved it 61

Focus group

By Jay - 10/04/2009 14:41 - Germany

Today, my mate came over wanting me to listen to a new music CD he got. It was by some unknown band, and at the end he asked me what I thought, and I said it was ok but the lead singer couldn't sing even if his life depended on it. Turns out my mate's the lead singer, and it was his own band. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 331

You deserved it 43 160

WellHelloThere47 19

Tuesday 3 March 2015 11:12

and THAT ladies and gentlemen is why we ALWAYS screen what we show our parents first!

nana_star 27

Tuesday 3 March 2015 11:14

I don't know about your parents but mine would appreciate a song about an enormous penis because they don't have enormous sticks up their asses.

Comments

Kepesk 7

Tuesday 3 March 2015 17:50

I love that song! "Enormous Penis" by Da Vinci's Notebook, right? It's hilarious!

khoov19 20

Tuesday 3 March 2015 17:51

well at least it wasnt the "coming out" song

frontmanmike 14

Tuesday 3 March 2015 19:20

Da Vinci Boys! I know that tune. Fun stuff.

WhoCouldIBe 11

Tuesday 3 March 2015 19:33

That's a good song though

BabyCakes818 16

Tuesday 3 March 2015 19:42

Lesson learned... Always listen to the full song before sharing it.

Jason89 16

Tuesday 3 March 2015 20:07

no you don't #23

afallingstar 22

Tuesday 3 March 2015 22:27

The real FML would be if the mom liked the song and wanted to meet the singer...

Sinclair935 5

Tuesday 3 March 2015 23:18

I got the cure for all of my blues, do you?

glassofwhiskey_fml 7

Tuesday 3 March 2015 23:22

The penis song by Macklemore

MonkeyTyphoon 6

Wednesday 4 March 2015 3:37

Actually it's Enormous Penis by Da Vinci's Notebook. Macklemore mentions penises in the first five seconds. This song has a forty second build up.

minecraftguy333 20

Wednesday 4 March 2015 1:57

One day i whipped out my **** and it felt 6 ft long!!!

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Relatable Animals Dogs Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

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You deserved it 365

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Today, I found out my son told his teachers that I make his brother Tom sleep on the floor, make him stay out of the house for long periods of time, and don't let him use the toilet. Tom is actually our cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 008

You deserved it 1 913

Today, my sister bought my five year-old son a giant ant farm for his birthday. We set it in the living room on a table. I went into the kitchen for a minute, and when I walked back in to the living room, my son was holding the empty case over his head, smiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 175

You deserved it 7 970

Today, I didn't have my key, so my sister told me to call her to let me in. I called, no answer. I waited for 15 minutes and then called my dad complaining about her, still being outside. She popped her out the window and yelled, "Don't talk about me, bitch!" and wouldn't open the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 083

You deserved it 4 610

Today, I was at a party and saw this girl who used to be overweight. She'd lost a significant amount of weight and looked so good, I went to chat her up. She immediately told me to get lost. According to her, if I "didn’t appreciate her at her worst, I don’t deserve her at her best." FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 2 810

Today, I got into a car crash, in my own garage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 531

You deserved it 44 218

Today, I was just a few days away from starting the training for my promotion to management, which involved a healthy pay raise and full time benefits. Today, news came down that the company is filing for bankruptcy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 375

You deserved it 1 577