Intimacy: Today, a homeless man tried to sell me a "magic, one-finger glove"....

By Anonymous - 24/06/2012 14:17 - Canada - Cochrane

Today, a homeless man tried to sell me a "magic, one-finger glove". It was a used condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 064

You deserved it 3 287

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Same thing different taste

By myself - 20/09/2012 07:00 - United States - Seaside

Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a used condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 459

You deserved it 31 247

By ilovesocks - 20/01/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 954

You deserved it 6 454

By meesmees - 23/11/2013 10:48 - United States - Severna Park

Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 817

You deserved it 6 812

By sickened - 21/09/2014 18:23 - United Kingdom - Gateshead

Today, I had a garage sale, and had amongst my clothing a few sets of underwear. A old man came up and asked to buy all of them. I'm so poor, I couldn't say no to the pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 837

You deserved it 8 330

By scarredforlife - 16/06/2013 23:27 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, in public, a homeless guy looked me in the eyes and started wanking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 495

You deserved it 5 039

By PentiumBawls8 - 20/01/2010 22:38 - United States

Today, while at my job, I walked past one of my colleagues who has been sick for the past couple of days. She knows that I'm a tea drinker and asked me for a tea bag. While conversing with her, I handed her one and left. I then later realized that I gave her a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 168

You deserved it 32 935

Cheers, asshat

By gross - 15/07/2011 01:09 - Canada

Today, I was playing my guitar outside my apartment building, and some people had put some money in my guitar case. One guy threw in what I thought was a crumpled piece of paper or something. It was actually a used condom. It leaked all over the money and my case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 365

You deserved it 5 036

Not now

By anonymous - 02/02/2011 05:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Right before I was about to climax, he asks, "Do you remember when you bought the homeless guy with one leg a hot dog?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 344

You deserved it 4 720

By totallyembarassed - 07/07/2012 04:08 - United States - Charlotte

Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 003

You deserved it 28 778

By rxcrs3 - 09/08/2012 06:44 - United States

Today, as I was cashing a customer out, he stopped me in the middle of the transaction just to tell me that the condoms he was buying are too big for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 034

You deserved it 2 484

lancesky 7

Sunday 24 June 2012 19:03

'Come on, it's a bargain! Only one previous owner!'

KiwiKitten 2

Sunday 24 June 2012 19:03

Hey he's gotta make money somehow!

Comments

laden_swallow09 34

Monday 25 June 2012 13:10

But it's maaaaagic!

MinnyWheat 8

Monday 25 June 2012 16:15

Hahaha who the hell used it?

noisebox 1

Monday 25 June 2012 16:22

You should have offered to sell him a fresh poo-bar

Bluekaren16 19

Monday 25 June 2012 21:55

It magically kept the sperm in the condom :D

aaghmylife 9

Monday 25 June 2012 21:57

He must have been hitting the bath salts recently.

JW_SR 9

Monday 25 June 2012 23:58

Ha ha ha ha...that is so funny!!!

Pelvispresley 8

Tuesday 26 June 2012 19:44

I hope you got a good deal on it!

Donutmaster 0

Tuesday 26 June 2012 22:36

yah condoms are not cheap now

dtgr02 4

Wednesday 27 June 2012 23:49

You should reuse it as a condom

ahhbeex 8

Thursday 28 June 2012 21:53

Was it used?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I caught my girlfriend of a year texting her ex, asking if she was enough for him sexually. He responded in detail about all their sexual activities, but she says I’m overreacting and shouldn’t keep throwing it in her face. Am I wrong? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 695

You deserved it 206

Today, while losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm. I don't remember much of what I said during, but after it was all over, he looks at me and says, "You have terrible grammar during climax." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 365

You deserved it 5 630

The Top

Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his dick and shocked him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 487

You deserved it 5 317

Today, at 32 weeks pregnant, I found my boyfriend passed out face down in his own vomit. Not only does our freshly-painted game room now smell like a dirty bar, but he also let our 2 strictly indoor cats outside. They have yet to return. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 827

You deserved it 535

Today, my grandma gave me the 'abstinence' speech. I had thought she already left to go back to FL but then came into my room to tell me how proud she was of me to keep my virginity. I was doing it doggie-style with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 248

You deserved it 90 484

Today, my old company merged with a new one. I was calling our old clients, and ended up speaking with a reporter who was investigating our company for fraud. I now have a meeting with the CEO tomorrow morning. I just started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 129

Today, I was pouring my heart out to my dad about how I'm such a loser and how I have no friends. He listened sympathetically, until his phone buzzed with a text message. He said, "Balls, the guys from work wanna get shitfaced!" and took a rain check on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 815

You deserved it 2 935

Today, my eleven-year-old cousin, who lives with me, has discovered Old Town Road. He’s been playing it for four hours on repeat and I’m ready to scream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 067

You deserved it 127

Same thing different taste

Cheers, asshat

Not now

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