Transportation: Today, a man crashed into my car. He then got out of his car,... - FML

By toothpaste - 19/01/2012 12:17 - Australia

Today, a man crashed into my car. He then got out of his car, dug a toothbrush and toothpaste out of his bag, and tried to brush away the damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 417

You deserved it 2 316

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Same thing different taste

Ouch

By Anonymous - 31/07/2020 02:03

Today, while brushing my teeth half asleep, I stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush, toothpaste included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 112

You deserved it 568

By shubididubbitty - 20/02/2016 18:06 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, on my way to the dentist, I got rear ended by my own dentist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 334

You deserved it 1 379

By clop clop clopping all the way - 20/06/2013 21:13 - United States

Today, a guy's car broke down in my street, so I helped him push it into my driveway, checked his car out, and gave it a jump start. He thanked me, then as he went to pull out, he instead smashed straight into my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 461

You deserved it 3 982

By Noname - 09/11/2008 09:18 - France

Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 689

You deserved it 13 854

By immunizations - 11/12/2010 07:40 - Canada

Today, while parking my car, I accidentally bumped into the car in front of me, making a small, barely noticeable dent. I felt bad, wrote an apology note, and stuck it on his windshield. An hour later, he replied by keying the entire right side of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 714

You deserved it 10 652

By Toothy - 02/04/2011 05:03 - United States

Today, I learned that when I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 988

You deserved it 50 054

By wtfman101 - 28/08/2009 14:56 - United States

Today, I woke up to find the entire driver's side of my car wrecked. Front door, back door, front and rear bumper smashed to shit. A drunk driver had hit it the previous night and ran. Don't worry though, he stopped and left his insurance information. He keyed it into the undamaged side of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 035

You deserved it 2 720

By ToddlersWife - 15/06/2014 11:10 - United Kingdom - Reading

Today, my husband and I got into an argument over him not brushing his teeth. It ended with him snapping his toothbrush in half. He's 52. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 297

You deserved it 6 101

By WellGroomed - 26/11/2015 15:20 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, my housemate walked out of the bathroom with my toothbrush in his mouth and asked, "You're not one of those people who cares if someone uses their toothbrush, are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 667

You deserved it 1 597

Easy mistake

By NoFightResponse - 24/04/2009 03:53 - United States

Today, I parked my car on the street late at night, when I was distracted by a text message. Some guy then gets in my passenger side. Panicked, thinking I was being robbed, I bolt out of my car bruising my head and dropping my phone onto the pavement. The guy meant to get in the car behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 254

You deserved it 7 144

Next

Top comments

mpsteve137 15

Thursday 19 January 2012 15:56

Well let's just hope he doesn't forget to floss after

stephissilly 18

Thursday 19 January 2012 15:56

get a giant rubber and start erasing him.

Comments

MonsterSlayer13 5

Thursday 19 January 2012 18:29

at lease the car will be minty fresh! :D

AliCat18 12

Thursday 19 January 2012 18:44

Legend of note!

Give_Linux_A_Go 28

Thursday 19 January 2012 18:54

"11 out of 12 top mechanics recommend us."

Brownsider 4

Thursday 19 January 2012 18:59

I take it this guy didnt have insurance? Lol

PardonMyFrench 4

Thursday 19 January 2012 19:00

He should have used a sharpie

Moniquenesha 1

Thursday 19 January 2012 19:04

this made me want to brush my teeth right after

ExToRtiOn 0

Thursday 19 January 2012 19:45

Did he get those hard to reach spots?

megsnorfus 3

Thursday 19 January 2012 21:16

I enjoy your profile pick, friend. :)

heraclitus 1

Thursday 19 January 2012 19:53

I think he is schizo or stupid , mistakin the car with his teeth lol , wish mor people r lik him less competition!!

Kitsa 3

Thursday 19 January 2012 20:06

Ok saw some people talking about rubbers (erasers) 68: I live in the US and I hear people use rubber like that. Actually I hear it used for eraser more than condom. Probably depends on were one lives.

Lola_Von 5

Thursday 19 January 2012 20:09

Lmaoooo! Now you can't say that wasn't kinda Funny.

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The Top

Today, my mother was re-enrolling me in school so she was required to fill out some paperwork. Later, she asked me, "What does caucasian mean?" I replied, "Why?" Apparently she didn't recognize the word, so she checked "Other" and wrote in "White". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 953

You deserved it 5 573

Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend and we passed the shop where my ex works at. My boyfriend slapped my ass right as my ex came out. It was so sudden that I started choking on a fry and dropped soda all over myself. My ex kept laughing all while my boyfriend kept apologizing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 491

You deserved it 2 612

The Top

Today, I was docked and fined in my dorm building because of multiple noise complaints. What was I doing that was so noisy? I slipped in the shower and banged my head against the floor. Then when I reached for the towel rack to pull myself up, it broke and I slammed my wrist onto the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 139

You deserved it 2 765

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents at a family dinner. There was plenty of alcohol on offer, as is normal at our get-togethers. She got blind drunk and ended up crying to my mum about how I can't please her because I have a small penis and my oral sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 411

You deserved it 10 368

Today, I came home after doing some Black Friday shopping for Christmas presents. I told my husband I got the must-have toy our daughter has been dying for. As soon as I said it, I heard squealing and turned around to see her standing right behind me. There goes the surprise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 583

You deserved it 13 914

Today, after my 7 year-old learned at school that water that goes down the sink and toilets is cleaned and then turns up in the taps as drinking water, he is now refusing to drink it at all in case it is recycled toilet water, and if he carries on he may need to be hospitalised for dehydration. FML

I agree, your life sucks 921

You deserved it 194

Today, I was pulled over because I looked like a possible suspect for a robbery. While searching me, the police's radio went off and the person on the other line said, "Possible suspect, 5'5", thin" - the officer stopped right then and murmured, "too short and fat" and walked back to his car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 526

You deserved it 4 860

Today, my mother gave me a Christmas present for the first time in 15 years: a dog. Her 16-year-old, untrained, mean dog who wears diapers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 630

You deserved it 3 049