Transportation: Today, a man crashed into my car. He then got out of his car,... - FML

By toothpaste - 19/01/2012 12:17 - Australia

Today, a man crashed into my car. He then got out of his car, dug a toothbrush and toothpaste out of his bag, and tried to brush away the damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 417

You deserved it 2 316

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Same thing different taste

Ouch

By Anonymous - 31/07/2020 02:03

Today, while brushing my teeth half asleep, I stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush, toothpaste included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 112

You deserved it 568

By shubididubbitty - 20/02/2016 18:06 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, on my way to the dentist, I got rear ended by my own dentist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 334

You deserved it 1 379

By clop clop clopping all the way - 20/06/2013 21:13 - United States

Today, a guy's car broke down in my street, so I helped him push it into my driveway, checked his car out, and gave it a jump start. He thanked me, then as he went to pull out, he instead smashed straight into my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 461

You deserved it 3 982

By Noname - 09/11/2008 09:18 - France

Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 689

You deserved it 13 854

By immunizations - 11/12/2010 07:40 - Canada

Today, while parking my car, I accidentally bumped into the car in front of me, making a small, barely noticeable dent. I felt bad, wrote an apology note, and stuck it on his windshield. An hour later, he replied by keying the entire right side of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 714

You deserved it 10 652

By Toothy - 02/04/2011 05:03 - United States

Today, I learned that when I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 988

You deserved it 50 054

By wtfman101 - 28/08/2009 14:56 - United States

Today, I woke up to find the entire driver's side of my car wrecked. Front door, back door, front and rear bumper smashed to shit. A drunk driver had hit it the previous night and ran. Don't worry though, he stopped and left his insurance information. He keyed it into the undamaged side of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 035

You deserved it 2 720

By ToddlersWife - 15/06/2014 11:10 - United Kingdom - Reading

Today, my husband and I got into an argument over him not brushing his teeth. It ended with him snapping his toothbrush in half. He's 52. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 297

You deserved it 6 101

By WellGroomed - 26/11/2015 15:20 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, my housemate walked out of the bathroom with my toothbrush in his mouth and asked, "You're not one of those people who cares if someone uses their toothbrush, are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 667

You deserved it 1 597

Easy mistake

By NoFightResponse - 24/04/2009 03:53 - United States

Today, I parked my car on the street late at night, when I was distracted by a text message. Some guy then gets in my passenger side. Panicked, thinking I was being robbed, I bolt out of my car bruising my head and dropping my phone onto the pavement. The guy meant to get in the car behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 254

You deserved it 7 144

Next

Top comments

mpsteve137 15

Thursday 19 January 2012 15:56

Well let's just hope he doesn't forget to floss after

stephissilly 18

Thursday 19 January 2012 15:56

get a giant rubber and start erasing him.

Comments

salsa324 0

Thursday 19 January 2012 15:58

That sucks

Jamialia 5

Thursday 19 January 2012 16:00

What the F... Only in Sydney right? Or rather NSW. We're great like that.

tweetbaby14 18

Thursday 19 January 2012 20:42

Not really. In hotels, as opposed to buying a new phone, they buff out all the imperfections (scratches mostly) with toothpaste. The brush was stupid, but everything else was.... Semi excusable.

silver848 6

Friday 20 January 2012 0:15

I grew that this would only happen in Australia. Or Canada lolzzzz

THE_A_TEEN 27

Thursday 19 January 2012 16:03

I think he got teeth and car mixed up. Chances are he takes his teeth to a mechanic. ******* weird...

EduJav321 24

Thursday 19 January 2012 16:04

Up and down the frontals and circular the molars!

Torva_fml 16

Friday 20 January 2012 1:50

**** that, I just use an electric toothbrush... It is FANTASTIC.

DontClickOnMe 28

Thursday 19 January 2012 16:04

Free car wash! How lucky are you! But no really, I hope nobody got hurt.

Awsumuzzie 12

Thursday 19 January 2012 16:04

I bet he had a legitimate reason... Out of trident layers, sadly.

hotPinklipstick 24

Thursday 19 January 2012 16:34

Nobody ever pays me in gum. :(

EricaCookies 0

Thursday 19 January 2012 22:42

I'm guessing he just watched/read a tutorial about how toothpaste helped scratches or something and decided to test it out :3 who carries around toothpaste and a toothbrush they are willing to use on a car?

niznor99 6

Thursday 19 January 2012 16:14

At least the car won't have cavities. O.o

heyyy464 1

Thursday 19 January 2012 16:17

Pore some mouth wash in his car

heyyy464 1

Thursday 19 January 2012 16:21

*pour

BlueHue 0

Thursday 19 January 2012 16:18

Did he proceed to pour mouthwash over your car?

ArsenalFan12 0

Thursday 19 January 2012 16:19

Bet it worked

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The Top

Today, my parents asked me if I had a nice time with my girlfriend at the amusement park I took her to yesterday. She was pretty freaked out by some of the rides so without thinking I said, "Yeah, but she sure is a screamer." My parents then exchange a look and say, "Oh trust us, we know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 715

You deserved it 32 189

Today, on my friend's birthday, I met a guy I really liked at a club, and he asked me to go home with him. At 2 a.m., my friend called but I missed her calls. When I woke up, she'd texted me pictures of all my things that I had at her place thrown outside in the snow. All because I didn’t go home with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 635

You deserved it 1 263

The Top

Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 297

You deserved it 604

Today, the smoke detector in my bedroom malfunctioned and started going off while my cat was asleep on my shoulder. He panicked and deeply lacerated my nose with his claw as he ran off. Blood got everywhere, and to add insult to injury the unit has no removable battery and wouldn't turn off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 686

You deserved it 758

Today, I was having a rough day, so I decided to go to the movies to unwind. 15 minutes in, some assmunch behind me said "This movie sucks!" then dumped his drink over my head and ran out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 423

You deserved it 1 891

Today, I made my boyfriend a beautiful dinner of seafood and rice. This was the first time I could afford lobster, and thought it would be a great treat for us both. I learned that this was the first time he has eaten lobster, and he learned that he is allergic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 210

You deserved it 525

Today, we got our Christmas bonuses. Instead of money, the company decided to give us all lunch boxes with the company name on them. I went ahead and put my lunch in mine, then put it in the break-room refrigerator. Apparently so did all the other employees. Now I can't find mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 121

You deserved it 9 283

Today, it snowed in South Carolina for the first time in 10 years. It snowed eight whole inches! I was so excited, I yelled for my kids and ran outside to build a snowman. I ran out to the steps and slipped on ice. I woke up in the hospital with a bad concussion. The snow had all melted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 592

You deserved it 6 089