Transportation: Today, a man crashed into my car. He then got out of his car,... - FML

By toothpaste - 19/01/2012 12:17 - Australia

Today, a man crashed into my car. He then got out of his car, dug a toothbrush and toothpaste out of his bag, and tried to brush away the damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 417

You deserved it 2 316

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Same thing different taste

Ouch

By Anonymous - 31/07/2020 02:03

Today, while brushing my teeth half asleep, I stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush, toothpaste included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 112

You deserved it 568

By shubididubbitty - 20/02/2016 18:06 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, on my way to the dentist, I got rear ended by my own dentist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 334

You deserved it 1 379

By clop clop clopping all the way - 20/06/2013 21:13 - United States

Today, a guy's car broke down in my street, so I helped him push it into my driveway, checked his car out, and gave it a jump start. He thanked me, then as he went to pull out, he instead smashed straight into my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 461

You deserved it 3 982

By Noname - 09/11/2008 09:18 - France

Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 689

You deserved it 13 854

By immunizations - 11/12/2010 07:40 - Canada

Today, while parking my car, I accidentally bumped into the car in front of me, making a small, barely noticeable dent. I felt bad, wrote an apology note, and stuck it on his windshield. An hour later, he replied by keying the entire right side of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 714

You deserved it 10 652

By Toothy - 02/04/2011 05:03 - United States

Today, I learned that when I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 988

You deserved it 50 054

By wtfman101 - 28/08/2009 14:56 - United States

Today, I woke up to find the entire driver's side of my car wrecked. Front door, back door, front and rear bumper smashed to shit. A drunk driver had hit it the previous night and ran. Don't worry though, he stopped and left his insurance information. He keyed it into the undamaged side of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 035

You deserved it 2 720

By ToddlersWife - 15/06/2014 11:10 - United Kingdom - Reading

Today, my husband and I got into an argument over him not brushing his teeth. It ended with him snapping his toothbrush in half. He's 52. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 297

You deserved it 6 101

By WellGroomed - 26/11/2015 15:20 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, my housemate walked out of the bathroom with my toothbrush in his mouth and asked, "You're not one of those people who cares if someone uses their toothbrush, are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 667

You deserved it 1 597

Easy mistake

By NoFightResponse - 24/04/2009 03:53 - United States

Today, I parked my car on the street late at night, when I was distracted by a text message. Some guy then gets in my passenger side. Panicked, thinking I was being robbed, I bolt out of my car bruising my head and dropping my phone onto the pavement. The guy meant to get in the car behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 254

You deserved it 7 144

Next

Top comments

mpsteve137 15

Thursday 19 January 2012 15:56

Well let's just hope he doesn't forget to floss after

stephissilly 18

Thursday 19 January 2012 15:56

get a giant rubber and start erasing him.

Comments

sneakypeekaboo 8

Thursday 19 January 2012 20:44

Da ****?!

KriiFahMoro 9

Thursday 19 January 2012 20:54

Ha! What an idiot. Everybody knows that crest white strips would work MUCH better in a situation like this!

megsnorfus 3

Thursday 19 January 2012 21:14

He was obviously on some kind of drug induced trip :) Sounds like a fun guy!

ISMUGGLEMIDGETZ 3

Thursday 19 January 2012 21:18

What a genuine way to clear the crime xD

CimmyJo 11

Thursday 19 January 2012 22:05

Now your car will be minty fresh! ;)

Akharr01 5

Thursday 19 January 2012 22:12

Minty fresh :)

2tone2bone 3

Thursday 19 January 2012 22:44

Your car may have had an object endangering your driving. He was just being nice by acting as dental floss and removing said object. He should have thrown an apple at it. Like they say " an apple a day keeps the psycho toothfairy away"

Jasonf6 0

Thursday 19 January 2012 23:07

Sounds like he was prepared and/or experienced in this.

TPSerigne 9

Thursday 19 January 2012 23:31

It does help prevent tooth decay, I understand the confusion.

whatcase 16

Thursday 19 January 2012 23:43

Made me lol hard!

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The Top

Today, I walked in on my husband making out with another woman in our couch. When I gave him the mother of all verbal lashings, he asked me, “Oh, you didn’t get my text?” The fucker actually announced he wanted a divorce over text message. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 541

You deserved it 196

Today, I spent hours arguing with my mother, who claimed I shouldn't make a three-hour drive because I wouldn't be able to concentrate for that long. I argued that I was a perfectly capable driver, and left. In the last two minutes of the journey, I hit a van, and messed up the front of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 855

You deserved it 40 403

The Top

Today, I gave a big presentation to my class. It included PowerPoint slides and video clips of the country I'd been researching. Another student did a presentation on the same country, except he just read from its Wikipedia page. He practically got a standing ovation. I got a single clap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 251

You deserved it 3 761

Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 955

You deserved it 215

Living that derp life.

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 106

Today, I got pulled over by a cop and got slammed with a ticket for expired tabs on my motorcycle. The DMV was literally across the street. I was heading there to get new tabs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 565

You deserved it 686

Today, my boyfriend was fired. After breaking the news, he also broke up with me. Apparently, his boss had a creepy crush on me and would give my boyfriend bonuses for bringing me to company events and, occasionally, out on the boss's personal boat. Looks like I am no longer useful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 906

You deserved it 3 213

Today, my husband thought I was still asleep while he was getting ready for work. How do I know? I watched him grab a condom out of his nightstand and put it in his lunchbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 727

You deserved it 90