Transportation: Today, a senile old lady came up to me and offered me chocolate....

By Anonymous - 09/12/2012 16:29 - United States - Cedar Park

Today, a senile old lady came up to me and offered me chocolate. I noticed that it was ex-lax, so I politely told her no. My 4-year-old daughter pushed me aside and ate the ex-lax, because she thought it was candy. I now have a stinky child on a 3 hour bus ride, with no stops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 061

You deserved it 11 177

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By dannij08 - 14/01/2009 01:05 - United States

Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 432

You deserved it 43 480

By drewcaver - 12/04/2015 19:49 - United States - Houston

Today, a little girl from my Sunday School class approached me and told me she had a stomach ache. She seemed very upset and her face was discolored so I took her to the nurse. While we were walking out the door, I looked down and saw a half-eaten crayon on the floor. That'll do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 673

You deserved it 2 324

By reasonablysingle - 11/06/2016 03:27 - Australia - Greystanes

Today, I'm taking care of my 12-year-old daughter because my ex-wife thought she could cure our daughter's lactose intolerance by sneaking milk into her soy breakfast. The milk had expired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 373

You deserved it 1 266

**** your "beach body" noise

By that’s not how it works - 16/07/2021 02:01 - United States

Today, my daughter expressed wanting to lose weight so I took her to a licensed dietician nutritionist to get her a healthy eating plan, and even made her an appointment with a personal trainer to get her on track. I walked in on her eating a whole box of laxatives, because "this way is faster." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 133

You deserved it 125

Toilet training

By Anonymous - 22/04/2012 17:12 - United States - Houston

Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 359

You deserved it 2 783

By screwedwoman27 - 19/06/2011 18:03 - United States

Today, I told my five year old daughter that no, she could not have ice cream for breakfast. She retaliated by pooping in the living room and smearing it on the walls. My in-laws, whom I've been trying to impress for ages, are visiting today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 033

You deserved it 7 526

Kids Say the Darndest Things

By Lolabunny - 21/08/2018 04:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I went grocery shopping with my 4-year-old after having some major bathroom issues. As I walked over to get bananas, she yelled out in the middle of the produce section, "DO YOU STILL HAVE DIARRHEA MOMMY?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 828

You deserved it 354

By anonymous - 16/09/2013 05:35 - United States - Hillsboro

Today, a lady stormed into the pharmacy I work at and chewed me out because the medicine I sold her the day before gave her horrible diarrhea as a "side effect". I checked, and it was the medicine she asked for - laxatives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 050

You deserved it 2 716

By ManchotDesAndes - 26/02/2015 07:35 - France - Bezons

Today, my 3-year-old daughter came along, pointing a finger at me. I pretended to eat it by putting it in my mouth. She then said to me with disgust, "Why are you eating my booger?" Ah, that explains the saltiness… FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 303

You deserved it 11 166

By SonofMnemosyne - 19/11/2018 07:30 - United States

Today, I have been on the toilet all day due to chocolate laxatives from trick-or-treating. Today, it is my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 536

You deserved it 315

thats_my_job 11

Sunday 9 December 2012 18:46

You couldn't stop your child? I'd never let my daughter take any sort of candy from a stranger. I would have said no, given a reason and distracted my daughter with something else.

chubbybunny963 7

Sunday 9 December 2012 18:46

Sounds like a shitty situ- *gets shot*

Comments

HooahGal 6

Monday 10 December 2012 1:33

You let your child eat a laxative from a SENILE lady? She's lucky nothing worse happened. Who know what could have been in it. Parenting fail.

dudleydursley 1

Monday 10 December 2012 1:56

Mum, is that you?

Hypertudism 15

Monday 10 December 2012 1:58

Tell her that excessively having to go to the bathroom until it hurts, is what happens when you disobey your parents.

winkydog4056 16

Monday 10 December 2012 2:23

'Smooth move, ex-lax', mom says to her son.

MandieL 27

Monday 10 December 2012 2:37

I am sorry but this is why people should need to get a license to breed. I don't care how strong the kid is, I don't care how light weight you are. The next time it's not going to be shit-me-chocolate, it's going to be booze or drugs and you will be on here going "oh poor me, FML" well guess what you will deserve it then as much as you do now for not teaching your child, not only basic manners and restraint, but taking candy from a stranger. Read a parenting book. Please.

Lunazel93 4

Monday 10 December 2012 2:41

Ex lax takes over 6 hours to kick in-you're totally exaggerating the situation

Tgo19053 15

Monday 10 December 2012 2:52

So is this what parenting is now-a-days? Blaming other people because you can't control your kids yourself?

donut_gurl 8

Monday 10 December 2012 3:06

YOU are the parent! you tell your child no, they don't grab the 'candy'. If she starts going for it, you need to stop her. This is YOUR fault, not the strangers, not your 4 year old's. Learn how to say no to your child

grannygruber 6

Monday 10 December 2012 3:06

YDI For not teaching your child manners! Even a 4 year old is old enough to know better!

grannygruber 6

Monday 10 December 2012 3:12

There is a difference between SPANKING and BEATING a child. All tho in this case I think instead of spanking the child someone shoulda beat some sense into the parent!