Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Today, about 30 seconds into my first blowjob, my girlfriend... - FML

By fuck - 24/07/2015 16:44 - Canada - Cowansville

Spicy

Today, about 30 seconds into my first blowjob, my girlfriend threatened to cut my balls off if I didn't "just fucking cum already". FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 687

You deserved it 3 129

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 28/07/2015 00:08 - United States

Spicy

Today, during a blowjob, my girlfriend decided to try something new by squeezing my balls as hard as she could as I came, for a "more intense orgasm". All she gave me was a ruptured testicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 246

You deserved it 2 963

By Anonymous - 30/12/2015 15:21 - Canada - Aurora

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 162

You deserved it 5 569

By Anonymous - 25/11/2017 06:00

Spicy

Today, I was getting one of the best blow jobs I have ever received. My girlfriend was getting into it when I heard an "uh oh". Her tongue ring got twisted around the hair close to my balls. She started to pull, I started to scream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 018

You deserved it 1 792

I'm gonna come

By Anonymous - 27/09/2021 20:00

Spicy

Today, despite warning my new girlfriend I suffer from bad premature ejaculation, and should get her to orgasm first with my hand or mouth, she insisted I “just fuck her already” then she blamed me when it was over in 15 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 173

You deserved it 349

By BeboKhaos - 04/08/2009 02:37 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had my first blow job. My girlfriend thought it would be sexy to "caress" my ball sack. By caress she meant bitch slap from side to side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 784

You deserved it 9 518

No good

By :(( - 28/09/2013 21:24 - Australia - Brisbane

Spicy

Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 445

You deserved it 8 033

By Rumpkis - 05/12/2011 01:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 972

You deserved it 18 672

Hot revenge

By Anonymous - 30/05/2022 00:01

Spicy

Today, halfway through a blowjob, my girlfriend bit my penis because she suddenly decided that she was still annoyed at me for an argument we had last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 350

You deserved it 334

By blueballs - 14/09/2012 00:06 - United States - Santa Clarita

Spicy

Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 173

You deserved it 8 241

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 291

You deserved it 29 244

Next

Top comments

dramaelf 37

Saturday 25 July 2015 7:16

No pressure, then.

FalloutScrolls 25

Saturday 25 July 2015 7:20

Sounds like real keeper to me. Totally not crazy. Nope. Not one bit.

Comments

dramaelf 37

Saturday 25 July 2015 7:16

No pressure, then.

PhinIt2WinIt 24

Monday 27 July 2015 3:57

she seems impatient.

AirBusDriver 23

Saturday 25 July 2015 7:18

"Check please"...

vikky538 28

Saturday 25 July 2015 14:27

For every 30 seconds

BlueXephos 10

Sunday 26 July 2015 19:02

Is this from Goodness Gracious Me?

WellThatWasRude 27

Saturday 25 July 2015 7:18

That must have been a real mood-killer. Next time you perform oral on her, you should say the same thing as pay-back.

tehman117 21

Saturday 25 July 2015 7:21

Op will cut her balls off?

kurodansei 16

Saturday 25 July 2015 7:21

He'll carve out her ovaries.

WellThatWasRude 27

Saturday 25 July 2015 7:22

Sorry, I forgot about that part. Maybe cut off her boobs then.

TheJasonLi 13

Saturday 25 July 2015 7:52

Your username fits perfectly with the FML lol

THEDUDE1553566 24

Saturday 25 July 2015 15:45

Or threaten to cut her clit off lol

Redgy22 26

Saturday 25 July 2015 20:08

Why would there even be a next time? RUN OP, RUN!!!!

burristhethird 16

Saturday 25 July 2015 23:50

I swear to ******* God if you don't hurry up and cum I will strangle you with your own fillopian tubes.

FalloutScrolls 25

Saturday 25 July 2015 7:20

Sounds like real keeper to me. Totally not crazy. Nope. Not one bit.

RitRit 20

Saturday 25 July 2015 7:21

She's got quite the explosive personality.

laden_swallow09 34

Saturday 25 July 2015 8:06

Apparently, not explosive enough for him.

VoldooPed 20

Saturday 25 July 2015 8:29

sounds like he's not explosive to her.

Capitan 15

Saturday 25 July 2015 7:22

Maybe she wasn't as good as she thought she was? Congratulations by the way!

Hunter_the_Ninja 22

Saturday 25 July 2015 7:35

No matter how good the girl is, nobody can make a dude cum with a ******* in 30 seconds.

keyofdestiny13 24

Saturday 25 July 2015 9:59

I can, 21

a1_z9 10

Saturday 25 July 2015 10:29

I think, more often than not, if a man comes that quickly it's more about him than the skill of the person fellating him.

VideoGameGangsta 5

Sunday 26 July 2015 2:52

#47 okay then prove it

Mcstud1y 30

Saturday 25 July 2015 7:23

Still got a *******. Maybe you should explain good things take time. Lol good luck OP

1221jamw 11

Saturday 25 July 2015 7:23

I don't know what to tell you I've never had this problem, OP....

BossManBryan 12

Saturday 25 July 2015 7:24

That kinda SUCKED. x)

Rynow 7

Saturday 25 July 2015 7:24

Little bit kinky

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I agree, your life sucks 52 145

You deserved it 3 732

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You deserved it 3 822

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