Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Today, about 30 seconds into my first blowjob, my girlfriend... - FML

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By fuck - 24/07/2015 16:44 - Canada - Cowansville

Spicy

Today, about 30 seconds into my first blowjob, my girlfriend threatened to cut my balls off if I didn't "just fucking cum already". FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 710

You deserved it 3 139

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 28/07/2015 00:08 - United States

Spicy

Today, during a blowjob, my girlfriend decided to try something new by squeezing my balls as hard as she could as I came, for a "more intense orgasm". All she gave me was a ruptured testicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 294

You deserved it 2 981

By Anonymous - 30/12/2015 15:21 - Canada - Aurora

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 183

You deserved it 5 581

By Anonymous - 25/11/2017 06:00

Spicy

Today, I was getting one of the best blow jobs I have ever received. My girlfriend was getting into it when I heard an "uh oh". Her tongue ring got twisted around the hair close to my balls. She started to pull, I started to scream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 029

You deserved it 1 804

I'm gonna come

By Anonymous - 27/09/2021 20:00

Spicy

Today, despite warning my new girlfriend I suffer from bad premature ejaculation, and should get her to orgasm first with my hand or mouth, she insisted I “just fuck her already” then she blamed me when it was over in 15 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 216

You deserved it 359

By BeboKhaos - 04/08/2009 02:37 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had my first blow job. My girlfriend thought it would be sexy to "caress" my ball sack. By caress she meant bitch slap from side to side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 798

You deserved it 9 523

No good

By :(( - 28/09/2013 21:24 - Australia - Brisbane

Spicy

Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 463

You deserved it 8 038

By Rumpkis - 05/12/2011 01:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 989

You deserved it 18 679

Hot revenge

By Anonymous - 30/05/2022 00:01

Spicy

Today, halfway through a blowjob, my girlfriend bit my penis because she suddenly decided that she was still annoyed at me for an argument we had last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 370

You deserved it 337

By blueballs - 14/09/2012 00:06 - United States - Santa Clarita

Spicy

Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 187

You deserved it 8 247

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 308

You deserved it 29 265

Next

Top comments

dramaelf 37

Saturday 25 July 2015 7:16

No pressure, then.

FalloutScrolls 25

Saturday 25 July 2015 7:20

Sounds like real keeper to me. Totally not crazy. Nope. Not one bit.

Comments

careaw91 3

Saturday 25 July 2015 7:58

extreme dirty talk: phyco gf edition o.O

Big_Bear99 19

Saturday 25 July 2015 8:06

Yea, I dunno. I am scared for you. Zip up and run out!

SubparAtBest 23

Saturday 25 July 2015 12:57

Atleast finish first..

Nessco 36

Saturday 25 July 2015 8:23

On behalf of females everywhere; I'm truly sorry. I hope the next time she's more understanding and into it.

A_Net_70 7

Saturday 25 July 2015 8:39

Just love that four play talk .....

leogachi 15

Saturday 25 July 2015 17:37

@39 *foreplay

alex_jaguara 33

Saturday 25 July 2015 8:52

RUN, FOREST, RUN!

Jinxsie 27

Saturday 25 July 2015 9:17

I wouldn't want that mouth on my dick. But I don't have a dick so carry on.

Dave_Davington 33

Saturday 25 July 2015 9:30

Honestly, if I ever had to suck some bastard off, I'd probably be the same. Gagging on some guy's pork sword cannot possibly be a pleasant experience, even if you're into men.

nonsensical 26

Saturday 25 July 2015 9:51

Believe it or not, some women actually LIKE pleasing their man, just as some men LIKE pleasing their woman and eating them out for more than 30 seconds... If you find that disgusting maybe oral sex just isn't for you.

a1_z9 10

Saturday 25 July 2015 10:24

It can be rather tiring, if it was her first time maybe she didn't realise the effort involved and thought it had been longer. But she should have admitted she wasn't into it anymore rather than blame him.

tarlax 11

Saturday 25 July 2015 10:51

49, if you're dying over it, you're doing something wrong. You're not supposed to just throw yourself on it. Try stroking it or something instead. Jesus Christ.

leogachi 15

Saturday 25 July 2015 17:42

@45 Yes, some people do enjoy orally pleasing their partner. And some people do it only because they like to receive oral. If they didn't give in return they'd be a douche.

Xion0014 20

Saturday 25 July 2015 21:05

It's actually awesome especially when it's someone you love. You've probably never had sex or gotten oral. So you're probably judging without doing.

Hawk420 9

Saturday 25 July 2015 9:39

Are you sure it was only 30 second?

pete9913 23

Saturday 25 July 2015 9:40

wow! don't enjoy it, just get it over with, damn it!

daemonsparta 16

Saturday 25 July 2015 9:52

but when you cum fast during sex she'll bitch

tarlax 11

Saturday 25 July 2015 11:08

ikr?

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