Intimacy: Today, after 5 years of no intimate, sexual contact with a woman,...

By brokedick - 12/12/2011 06:23 - United States

Today, after 5 years of no intimate, sexual contact with a woman, I finally got my chance. Unfortunately, I also discovered that I have full-on erectile dysfunction. I'm 23 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 389

You deserved it 4 089

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By mavrick127 - 29/09/2016 14:21 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I finally had the chance to have sex with my crush. Too bad I couldn't get an erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 228

You deserved it 1 787

Nutty

By Anonymous - 30/11/2020 20:01 - Canada - Toronto

Today, i discovered I can only get an erection in the presence of a real woman. My days of busting nuts alone are over. Except I don't have a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 844

You deserved it 280

Bad sex

By Anonymous - 24/06/2022 22:00

Today, I had sex for the first time in two years. With a man I love, who is handsome, very nicely equipped, and quite good at it. I was in pain the entire time. It took me 3 tries to realize there is something physically wrong with me, and once I get it fixed, he'll be gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 661

You deserved it 223

Bye bye

By Anonymous - 15/11/2023 10:00

Today, after years of impotence, I woke up with a raging boner. I was so happy until I remembered my wife divorced me last year because of my impotence. This depressed me so much that I couldn’t muster the enthusiasm to masturbate, and the boner went bye bye, never to return. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 135

Turntables

By Bill Mantie - 18/04/2021 02:00

Today, after months of successfully taking strides to boost my long diminished libido, I found out my girlfriend, who always had a healthy sex drive, has now lost hers. Oh, how the tables have turned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 121

You deserved it 147

A tale as old as time

By flopsy - 03/12/2010 16:19 - Australia

Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 418

You deserved it 11 365

Helping hand

By Anonymous - 30/06/2020 02:02

Today, its been so long since I've been single, I’ve reached the age where I need Viagra just to masturbate since there’s no woman in my life to save the pills for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 302

Horny housewives in your area

By Anonymous - 28/11/2022 02:00 - Belgium

Today, it's been 5 years since I started a relationship with a man who'd hidden he was impotent and I was too deep into the relationship to break it off. I accepted the sex without penetration. but since then his libido has dropped too, we have no sex, and he won't see a therapist. I'm looking up gigolos, but I can't bring myself to do it. I'm 42. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 345

You deserved it 468

By Nightshade823 - 10/11/2016 19:12 - United States

Today, I finally lost my virginity. I also found out the side effects of my antidepressants: It's hard for me to get it up, and I can't orgasm. When I finally got it up, I went so long, it ended with her saying, "Yeah, you should stop now, I'm numb." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 346

You deserved it 1 113

What a feeling!

By numbcrumb - 18/09/2017 23:15

Today, I discovered I have a condition that causes loss of feeling in my clitoris during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 942

You deserved it 306

cutiepie343 7

Monday 12 December 2011 11:51

Love the OP's username!! Lolz

EwanSmith 2

Monday 12 December 2011 11:53

at least you made the effort. keep it up. oh wait a minute...

Comments

Mauskau 35

Tuesday 13 December 2011 2:17

So you haven't had a wank during the last 5 years and you're still young? Hmm?

bmxerboy14 0

Tuesday 13 December 2011 2:39

You could be gay?? Gay is ok bro(:

DirtyvonZoe32 10

Tuesday 13 December 2011 3:38

Time to hit up the Viagra

hateevryone 14

Tuesday 13 December 2011 4:56

5 years? wow...that's a long time to go without sex!

guerillazinsuits 1

Tuesday 13 December 2011 5:05

That must be hard on you...oh wait.

shaneman96 0

Tuesday 13 December 2011 6:37

Viva! Viva! Viagra!

kalbrek009 20

Tuesday 13 December 2011 6:40

It may have just been a case of "performance anxiety".

nvo 6

Tuesday 13 December 2011 7:17

First time after 5 years - that's a lot of pressure. Don't feel too bad and don't jump to conclusions. Once your mind relaxes, you will probaby have no problems.

zach34 0

Tuesday 13 December 2011 7:38

Yeah your probably nervous bud just keep talkin to the girl and get comfortable with her maybe mr. Jonhston will come up after that haha good luck to ya " if that doesn't work Viagra is your answer"