By joco4 - 15/01/2016 18:00 - United States - Mobile

Today, after being in a committed relationship for five years, I just found out that my girlfriend's parents have no idea that we are together. She says she "forgot" to tell them. FML
I agree, your life sucks 23 031
You deserved it 1 929

joco4 tells us more.

joco4 27

OP here. First of all, thanks everyone for commenting and everything, a lot of your comments were very helpful! Some clarification, we have talked about it before, and yes, I have met her parents as well as a lot of her family. Also, she has met my parents and family, and they know that we are together. The reason she has not told them has nothing to do with religion or because she is embarrassed by me. When we first started dating, she asked her parents what they would think if we started dating, and they effectively said "it would disgrace their family," so she just told them that we would not date, and since then, it seems that the topic hasn't come up with them again. The reason this whole topic came up is because, when her parents would call her, they would always talk about one of her exes, and how he was doing, (basically hinting that they wanted that relationship to happen again). After that happened a few times, I asked her about it, and she informed me that they actually didn't know about us being together. Her parents always comment on how nice I am, and how I am a good person. The problem with her parents is that they live in the past. Even though it is currently 2016, her parents can't accept a relationship where I happen to be black, and she happens to be white. As far as her parents are concerned, I am just her friend that happens to hang out with her a lot, as for everyone else, we are very happily in a relationship. Her parents and some of her family are the only people who are out of the loop. So, at this point, we are just not worrying about them and they will find out on a later date. I would like them to know eventually, but it just seems like that wont happen anytime soon. Feel free to leave comments if you want to know anything else!

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Top comments

nesssy 16

That's weird. I wonder how it took you 5 years to find out tho.

234 0
MrScootyPuffSr 16

As a rule, if either person is embarrassed to show off the other, it's not a healthy relationship. Sorry you found out that way OP.

161 4

Comments

OverBlossomed 21

Unless she didn't tell because she was embarrassed of you, I don't see why that's a bad thing. My family is racist, so most likely, I'll never tell them about my relationship. They don't need to know and I love him too much to force him to deal with that.

4 1
Kendrah18 19

FYL and YDI. She should have told them, but.. How the hell do you go 5 years without suggesting you two and her family get together? I met my boyfriends parents in our relationships' infancy.

2 2
Busco7 6

There's definitely a lot more to this.. Kinda hard to weigh in on whether YLS or YDI...

3 1
jahp 7

How can you be in a relationship for 5 years and never meet your girlfriends parents?? How does that even happen?

1 2
Mrtigerblue 14

how do they not know after 5 years what about holidays and such. that is why I say ydi they should have known being told or not

0 2
fotomiep 7

Was she hiding you from her parents, or was she hiding her parents from you?

2 1
Bragi 12

I have bad news, OP. You are not the boyfriend.

9 0
joco4 27

Thank you for this comment, it made me laugh :)

3 1
joco4 27

OP here. First of all, thanks everyone for commenting and everything, a lot of your comments were very helpful! Some clarification, we have talked about it before, and yes, I have met her parents as well as a lot of her family. Also, she has met my parents and family, and they know that we are together. The reason she has not told them has nothing to do with religion or because she is embarrassed by me. When we first started dating, she asked her parents what they would think if we started dating, and they effectively said "it would disgrace their family," so she just told them that we would not date, and since then, it seems that the topic hasn't come up with them again. The reason this whole topic came up is because, when her parents would call her, they would always talk about one of her exes, and how he was doing, (basically hinting that they wanted that relationship to happen again). After that happened a few times, I asked her about it, and she informed me that they actually didn't know about us being together. Her parents always comment on how nice I am, and how I am a good person. The problem with her parents is that they live in the past. Even though it is currently 2016, her parents can't accept a relationship where I happen to be black, and she happens to be white. As far as her parents are concerned, I am just her friend that happens to hang out with her a lot, as for everyone else, we are very happily in a relationship. Her parents and some of her family are the only people who are out of the loop. So, at this point, we are just not worrying about them and they will find out on a later date. I would like them to know eventually, but it just seems like that wont happen anytime soon. Feel free to leave comments if you want to know anything else!

102 2
PhoenixChick 26

That's a tough situation. I worry that the longer you hide it, the more damage it will do to the relationships- both yours and hers, and hers and her parents.

64 2
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 22

Well OP, kudos to you for being so good about it. You are really forgiving. I don't know if I would have been, finding that out after 5 years together. I honestly think that your girlfriend could have told you the truth, after all, it's not her fault if her parents are so backward. Hope it will all work out. If they like you as a person, there is a chance they will be able to overcome that stupid prejudice. On a side note, I know it's Alabama but I cannot get over the fact that skin colour is still an issue for some people, it's so dumb.

51 3
K_kanaka 26

Well, hopefully this doesn't get in the way of your relationship, and that you both will get threw this. Good luck OP.

6 3
neverready 25

Make them watch "Serial (Bad) Weddings". A french movie, that has that plot. It's about a quite conservative couple, who have four adult daughters, one is married to a Chinese, one to a Jew and one to a Muslim and they just want their youngest to get a nice, catholic man. And she has a nice catholic man. But he's black. Very funny movie, playing with stereotypes and getting a good point of this conservative racism and the clash of different cultures. Original "Qu'est-ce qu'on a fait au Bon Dieu?". Even my boyfriend loves the movie, although he usually is no fan of french movies :D Show them and then they know, they could have it worse ;)

24 1
BrandiLush 31

I completely understand your pain. I'm a white female that prefers Hispanic men. After a painfully, brief marriage to a white guy to appease my parents, I said "**** it". I now date whomever I want and my family respects my decision as long as I'm happy. They also learned to accept other races and opened their minds. I've also been hidden from parents because I'm white so I know exactly how that feels :( Hopefully they see how awesome you are with their daughter and open their minds to accept the relationship. If not, don't sweat it. Just be happy together and don't worry about what others think. I wish you both the best of luck :)

15 1
ligerzero459 24

I feel your pain, OP. I'm black and my wife is white. When we first started dating, her parents were on the fence about the whole thing. I definitely causes a point of contention, so I can see the draw of just no saying anything.

10 1
smokecloud_ 37

I used to date black guys almost exclusively, and I'm white so I can kind of feel where your girlfriend is coming from. My mom went as far as to make me cry on Christmas because "mixed babies don't know what they are." (bullshit) I just got to the point where I basically told her to shove it, because if someone makes me happy, their skin color doesn't frickin' matter. Ironically, I'm dating a white guy now and my mom loves him despite never having met him...

16 1
mduckie101 21

That's really petty of them OP. It's good to hear that at least that didn't get passed on to your girlfriend. Good luck, OP I hope everything works out!

5 1
MikaykayUnicorn 36

My dad is the same way. He wants me to marry a rich white man and if he even sees me looking at a man of color I get scolded. My mom doesn't care who I date, as long as I'm happy. I think your children's happiness should come before your petty racial beliefs. Every race is equal, and people seem to be blind to that idea.

11 1
Vlen_fml 20

Yeah that's a tough situation, i mean even in our generation there are people opposed to interracial relationships for stupid reasons. granted though it goes both ways, being a white guy i got a lot of crap in high school and college for always turning down non-white girls and "I'm just not attracted to you" apparently can't be a real thing to them. S@#^ really hit the fan when i did actually go out with a hispanic girl that i actually liked. People man, just... people *shakes head*

1 1
TheAspieDork 27

Damn. Hopefully you don't have to hide things for too long, and once you tell them, I hope nothing extremely dangerous happens.

0 1
TheAspieDork 27

Ignore the seemingly random comment I made, that was an error

0 2
Logical07 16

My best wishes OP! May you and your girl be strong and close to each other to face all the ignorant people around. Maybe one day her family will accept such "disgrace". You two is all that matter and sometimes obstacles can make a relationship stronger.

0 0
greeneyedxx 13

I can relate, OP. 2.5 years with my boyfriend and his parents still don't take me seriously, all because I'm not Arab and Muslim like them.

0 0