Intimacy: Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active,...

By Anonymous - 08/06/2013 10:34 - United States - Bessemer

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 537

You deserved it 15 220

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Who are you?

By Anonymous - 06/05/2023 00:00

Today, my husband gave our son the sex talk. Maybe it’s because we never talk openly about it, but my husband is into some racy shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 960

By anonymousyo - 24/04/2015 22:04 - United States - Vacaville

Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 162

You deserved it 4 233

By Anonymous - 19/01/2015 14:34 - United States - Lewiston

Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 681

You deserved it 7 565

The birds and the bees

By Anonymous - 23/08/2023 09:00 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I caught my young son watching porn so, not wanting to give him a warped view of sex and love, I was giving him the proper sex talk when my religious mother walked in, realised what we were talking about, and started screaming about sin and hell and diseases, and he ran off crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 685

You deserved it 105

Protips from Dad

By Anonymous - 08/01/2023 15:00

Today, my son asked his mom about sex, so she talked about love, marriage, God, affection and all that bollocks, missing the point that he wanted to know about having good sex since he has a girlfriend now, so I explained all the wet, squishy practical bits of sex. Now my wife is mad at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 536

You deserved it 1 252

By It was the 11 year old - 21/07/2012 08:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 911

You deserved it 5 032

Sex ed done right, sort of

By Anonymous - 18/06/2023 12:00

Today, we discovered that our 14 year-old son is having sex. I was mad as hell at him, but by the end his dad completely took over the conversation, congratulated the hell out of him, and gave him money for condoms. If I wasn’t there, I genuinely think he would’ve asked our son for tips on infidelity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 643

You deserved it 861

By Miffy - 04/09/2018 23:00 - United States - San Augustine

Today, my 14-year-old son asked his dog what she was chewing on. It wasn't until he picked it up said, "Is this what I think it is?" that I realized my son was gripping my vibrator. As I took it outside, mortified, he told his sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 676

You deserved it 883

By caroline - 29/10/2015 20:02 - Germany

Today, I decided it was time to have "the talk" with my daughter, after I found a thong in the washing machine. She denied it was hers and pointed out how it was too big to fit her. I ended up having a very different talk with my son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 336

You deserved it 2 938

Forgetful

By Superdumb - 26/11/2018 03:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about sex and I asked him if he had ever finished inside a woman. He looked directly into my eyes and said, "Babe... I have a son, remember?" Yeah, I forgot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 774

You deserved it 5 463

friedpwnadge 25

Saturday 8 June 2013 19:42

Your husband is awesome.

davincidasecond 24

Saturday 8 June 2013 19:44

Well, he IS giving decent advice ... I mean if he's gonna do it, he's gotta do it right.

Comments

jonha21 11

Sunday 9 June 2013 0:19

Hahaha Welcome to 2013 Lmaof

rsue 14

Sunday 9 June 2013 0:39

Well, to be fair, "USE A ******* CONDOM. You can't afford the disease OR the kid." takes about six seconds to say. You gotta fill the rest of the airtime with something, and it might as well be that.

Drifting 21

Sunday 9 June 2013 0:50

The best advice a father can give his son!

Ceejay1 13

Sunday 9 June 2013 1:00

Its up to you to handle that serious conversation.

IvyPalin 7

Sunday 9 June 2013 1:07

Well if your husband thinks he's old enough to give tips, then your son is probably older then implied, and also gives you a hint that your husband started having sex at a similar age to son, calm down person

Raykyogrou03 12

Sunday 9 June 2013 1:10

Geez, lady. You can't expect teenagers to not have sex, the only thing you can do as parents is hand them condoms and tell them to use the.

ViviMage 38

Sunday 9 June 2013 1:19

What a shallow way of thinking! There is far more to the female sexual response! My *guy* likes erotic back and hip rubs. Did you know that the ******** has 6000-8000 nerve endings in it? And it can get OVERstimulated and retreat against the body wall? And it hurts when it's overstimulated? I hope your son knows that! If he thinks his dick and her clit are all that matters, Daddy just set him up or failure at anything but a one night stand. If he wants a long term relationship, love the whole. The feet, the breasts, the belly, her smile, her hair, her laugh.