Kids: Today, after far too many times of my brother stealing food out...

By WhatTheF - 11/07/2016 05:42

Today, after far too many times of my brother stealing food out of my own personal mini fridge, I bought a lock and chained the handles together. I came back to find that my brother had responded by breaking the doors off their hinges. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 910

You deserved it 1 130

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Same thing different taste

By Professional - 29/05/2017 14:00

Today, I was fed up with things being taken from my room so I installed a key-locking handle on my door. I installed everything but the door knobs, and because I was worried that I would put the two of them on backwards, I closed the door to check. I'm now locked in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 235

You deserved it 4 057

Let 'em in

By knoppad - 13/06/2009 19:46 - United States

Today, I was in my backyard. When I wanted to come back in the house, I tried to open the sliding door. I knew that my brother locked me out so I banged on the door very hard, causing the glass to break. It turns out that the door wasn't locked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 848

You deserved it 51 116

By queenbee - 14/06/2015 13:31 - United States - Media

Today, I slept through my alarm and decided to call in sick. After falling back asleep, I woke up to my younger brother robbing my kitchen. It seems he's been doing this for weeks, every time I leave for work. He won't even give it all back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 201

You deserved it 2 506

By Anonymous - 17/09/2013 17:23 - United States - Bessemer

Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. After assessing the loss, I saw a taunting note on the fridge saying, "Locks work best when the door's SHUT." My housekeeper had apparently left the door wide open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 618

You deserved it 4 063

Masters of mischief

By Anonymous - 18/07/2024 16:00 - United States - Salem

Today, my 4-year-old twin sons discovered how to lock doors. They locked me out of the house while I was taking out the trash. I had to climb through the kitchen window, which they'd generously smeared with peanut butter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 144

By Anonymous - 22/01/2016 19:00 - United States - Royersford

Today, I got locked out of my house. After trying unsuccessfully to jimmy the lock, I managed to climb in through the kitchen window. I soon found out I had an effect on the door after all; it won't open at all any more, even with the right key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 309

You deserved it 5 747

By Anonymous - 25/08/2019 02:02

Today, some asshat thought it would be funny to put a second lock on my locker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 611

You deserved it 150

By phansmootchie - 20/12/2011 08:14 - United States

Today, I lost my keys. My roommate locked me out, then yelled at me when I made her come home to let me in. I tore my room apart searching for them, and even went out to search my locker room. When I got home, I glanced at my wall only to find my keys hanging on the hook I set up specifically for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 309

You deserved it 37 456

By jfc, how just how - 19/05/2013 19:56 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, my brother broke his mountain bike, so he stole mine, and managed to break it as well. Then he made some kind of franken-bike out of parts from both, and messed that one up too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 255

You deserved it 3 783

By toe - 03/02/2015 03:14 - United States - Sullivan

Today, I stole my brother's fuzzy slippers for the day as I usually do. Too bad he had been anticipating this and had left a mouse trap in one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 580

You deserved it 45 108

ambeerr 14

Saturday 27 August 2016 5:03

either a) talk to him and tell him to stop or b) break his bedroom door off its hinges and see what he does.

The_25th_Baam 3

Saturday 27 August 2016 5:03

I would probably put spoiled food in there, let him learn OP!

Comments

melana09 19

Saturday 27 August 2016 22:29

Well since laxatives were already mentioned; make some extremely spicy food to go with it. Make it burn when it exits

PhoenixChick 26

Saturday 27 August 2016 22:38

If your parents are totally cool with him stealing your stuff AND breaking it, I'd suggest not only stealing/breaking his stuff but stealing/breaking theirs and blaming it on brother.

phew_fml 21

Saturday 27 August 2016 22:55

I suggest you break your brothers hands off... I mean: just have him pay for a new fridge.

YourOpinionSucks 22

Sunday 28 August 2016 4:26

Someone's an only child.

andrmac 25

Sunday 28 August 2016 4:47

1. Cat/dog food sandwich 2. Dog shit pie 3. Piss lemonade 4. Spit in everything

tbro47 23

Sunday 28 August 2016 4:50

Time to spike the food with some ex lax but still leave the chains on the fridge to give him a false sense of security. That way he'll be less likely to be suspicious of retribution under the assumption that "who would go through that much trouble to protect ex lax spiked food?"

Lizzy500 16

Sunday 28 August 2016 18:54

Time to break out the ex-lax and ghost peppers

feldire 14

Sunday 28 August 2016 19:30

Sounds like he's an idiot. Your fridge is now broken and he can't steal food anymore because you can't store it he, literally did nothing but take the privilege away from you only