Intimacy: Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first...

By Mini-wanker - 18/10/2011 17:34 - United States

Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 547

You deserved it 8 867

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/02/2013 17:17 - United States - Durham

Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 417

You deserved it 3 890

Absolute beginners

By dancerr2210 - 09/06/2010 04:01 - United States

Today, after making out with my boyfriend for the first time, it took me an hour to convince him he was still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 276

You deserved it 6 969

By baron - 01/06/2009 17:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131 678

You deserved it 7 573

By Anonymous - 22/06/2013 07:31 - United States - Piedmont

Today, my girlfriend told me that she feels pregnant. I didn't believe her, given how recently we had sex for the first time, so I told her to take a test to make sure. She's very sure now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 833

You deserved it 51 370

Like a virgin

By chchboy - 22/05/2012 05:05 - United States

Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 153

You deserved it 7 122

By sadsexer23 - 16/02/2010 03:10 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriends virginity and had given it my all. When I had finished, sweating and tired, I looked down at her and smiled, obviously pleased with myself. She looked up at me and said, "Wait, was that it?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 829

You deserved it 6 737

By Anonymous - 17/01/2011 01:28 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 105

You deserved it 7 022

Let down

By anonymous - 21/06/2009 02:00 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend's virginity. A few minutes in she remarked, "If this is what sex is normally like then I'm seriously disappointed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 231

You deserved it 17 261

By Nick - 08/07/2011 05:19 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for 3 years. She's pregnant. I'm a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 469

You deserved it 11 764

By Anonymous - 02/05/2015 02:22 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 014

You deserved it 4 134

idontknowyou123 0

Wednesday 19 October 2011 0:09

y u no big enough

Nosrebor 8

Wednesday 19 October 2011 0:09

Oh wow... Time to try again ;)

Comments

thensome 1

Wednesday 19 October 2011 23:52

Wow, where did that doctor get his/her license? Every modern country MD knows that the 'cherry' is a myth carried on by religious zealots.

Eaglestrike117 29

Thursday 20 October 2011 2:14

It's called a hymen. Google it. (Although it is not entirely accurate to judge someone's virginity by.)

H00DN1663R 0

Thursday 20 October 2011 0:33

Today i had lost my virginity to my boyfriend. I asked him if it was in yet. It was in. FML

DenDen114 0

Thursday 20 October 2011 1:02

Haha that is depressing. -.-

cleoxus85 0

Thursday 20 October 2011 1:41

Go to her doctor and ask for some advice on how to drill through, or maybe transplant?

cleoxus85 0

Thursday 20 October 2011 1:43

Implantation.

07jeepster 0

Thursday 20 October 2011 1:52

Dude for this to be true your dick would have to be less than 1" hard... Did she bleed

ozzyOB01 0

Thursday 20 October 2011 1:58

I guess youve got a small problem

shockwave_system 6

Thursday 20 October 2011 3:05

Well if she enjoyed the sex, I see no problem in the matter. As long as it is satisfying to both you and her size is only a number.

badactor009 0

Thursday 20 October 2011 3:52

You made this up, right?

xnickyxboox 6

Thursday 20 October 2011 4:51

Haha.. The four words men hate: is it in yet? Sorry for u OP

codplayer2442 1

Thursday 20 October 2011 4:52

Small dick BITCH!!!

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Today, while eating dinner, my child picked up a piece of their chicken off the floor and put it in their mouth. It wasn’t until during bath time did I realize it wasn't chicken but poop that fell out of their diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 367

Today, my daughter got home from her first date, angry at me because I scared her date so much that he left halfway through. I swear I didn’t do anything except shake his hand and remind him her curfew is 10pm. Am I in the wrong here? FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 109

The Top

Today, I got a card from the jewelry store thanking me for purchasing an engagement ring a year ago and wishing me and my fiancée a long and everlasting marriage. Too bad my fiancée took off with the pizza delivery boy 6 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 758

You deserved it 2 407

Today, while chatting to my mother, I tried to show her a funny website by pasting the URL into a message. After I sent the message, I realised that my browser hadn't copied the URL I wanted to send her, and that I'd actually pasted the previous URL I copied. It was porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 675

You deserved it 47 673

Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 131

You deserved it 5 125

Today, my ex called me up to suggest that we become friends, only so that she could introduce me to her new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 575

You deserved it 4 213

Today, I was at the mall with my little brother. I saw him touching some expensive objects, so I slapped his arm. I noticed he wasn't my brother when he started crying and his real mom slapped me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 483

You deserved it 56 325

Today, I found a Justin Bieber shrine in my daughter's closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 205

You deserved it 4 023

Same thing different taste

Absolute beginners

Like a virgin

Let down

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