Intimacy: Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he said that I should...

By bucollegegirl - 08/10/2012 14:07 - United States

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he said that I should go to the bathroom so we don't end up pregnant. When I asked why, he said that I need to "pee out the semen." I explained to him 5 times that I don't pee out of my vagina. He still doesn't get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 789

You deserved it 6 575

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/10/2012 15:17 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend that, yes, I can get pregnant even if I don't actually have an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 052

You deserved it 4 241

Observation

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 05:43 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 756

You deserved it 8 003

By journey_Jeanne - 08/12/2011 02:31 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I was ovulating. He said he didn't want to have sex because he was afraid of getting eggs on his penis. He then compared it to having sex with a fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 039

You deserved it 5 159

By anonymous - 27/01/2010 20:33 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that the reason I don't want to stay overnight at his house is because I still occasionally wet the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 946

You deserved it 8 289

By Anonymous - 04/12/2013 22:08 - United States - Marsing

Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 471

You deserved it 12 274

A real ******

By never again - 30/11/2019 01:00 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I like, but I had to pee really bad. It got really wet down there, and he thought I squirted. I peed everywhere. I let him believe he made me squirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 382

You deserved it 757

Sick sex, dude

By Anonymous - 18/01/2011 02:13 - United States

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. Right after, he left the room and went to the bathroom to throw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 497

You deserved it 5 227

By rashree - 13/02/2010 01:34 - United States

Today, my long-distance boyfriend told me that he was going to pee on me to "mark his territory." When I told him that it was disgusting, he said, "last time, I just peed on you in the shower." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 730

You deserved it 3 577

Taste test

By Anonymous - 08/06/2020 23:04

Today, I went to give my boyfriend head, and his dick tasted like condoms. I'm 5 months pregnant, we obviously don't use condoms. He got scared when I stopped and told him, then he got mad at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 669

You deserved it 273

By woah - 04/05/2011 11:51 - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me how women could urinate with a tampon in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 012

You deserved it 8 234

NotYourOrdinary7 6

Monday 8 October 2012 18:52

If he doesn't want you to become pregnant, some sort of contraception should have been used.

Moep20 24

Monday 8 October 2012 18:52

I am sorry that you have such a dumb boyfriend D: Try explaining it to him with pictures maybe? Let him see for himself that there are two openings?

Comments

send3426 24

Thursday 29 October 2015 17:55

He seriously needs a lesson in anatomy

pheonixfire13 17

Saturday 14 November 2015 6:15

You should still go pee to prevent getting a U.T.I

Unlucky1232 20

Wednesday 9 March 2016 3:21

what? seriously? im a guy and i know thats not how it works. wtf?

DaedPool 6

Sunday 21 August 2016 22:52

Give him "the other talk"

I'madumbass 19

Friday 20 October 2017 15:23

That's not how it works....

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Saturday 3 February 2018 20:10

I seem to recall an article in Cosmo years ago that said it's an okay precaution to pee after sex to avoid getting pregnant, because pushing out the urine can also push out the semen. But still, there are better methods of contraception that you both should have thought of.