Work: Today, after I had finished vacuuming, I ripped the cord out...

By Clutz - 25/10/2009 00:41 - United States

Today, after I had finished vacuuming, I ripped the cord out of the outlet and it hit me in the face cutting both my top and bottom lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 421

You deserved it 35 897

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Same thing different taste

By ouch - 12/12/2009 20:36 - United States

Today, I finally finished vacuuming my downstairs. Instead of finding the wall outlet and unplugging the vacuum, I triumphantly tugged the cord from across the room to release the plug from the wall. It flew at me at top speed and hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 944

You deserved it 41 956

Proper job

By So so close to clean - 08/02/2017 10:00 - United States - Warren

Today, with words of encouragement from my mom, I vacuumed my room. After finishing and admiring my job well done, I went to put the vacuum away. It caught on the plug for my electric razor which was dangling below the dresser and yanked that and everything else that was on top of it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 413

You deserved it 1 292

By Anonymous - 29/11/2009 16:57 - United States

Today, my ceiling fan was rocking violently so I turned it off. I stood under it trying to figure out what the problem is, it fell on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 569

You deserved it 13 140

By tikizombie - 30/08/2010 20:10 - Canada

Today, I was moving out of my old place. While walking around to make sure I would get my damage deposit back, I stepped on my roommate's lipstick and smeared it all over the white carpet. Then, I tripped on the phone cord and ripped the whole thing out of the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 210

You deserved it 8 402

Night fight

By FistFighter - 09/04/2011 04:01 - United States

Today, after getting up to press snooze on my alarm clock, I climbed back into bed. When I went to reach for the covers quickly because I was cold, I missed, yet still managed to pull back my fist with force punching myself in the face. I now have a bloody fat lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 938

You deserved it 12 978

Accidents will happen

By Anonymous - 27/04/2009 05:58 - United States

Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 014

You deserved it 9 307

By Anonymous - 25/07/2015 04:20 - United States - Tempe

Today, after vacuuming, I struggled to pull the nozzle attachment out. I yanked it too hard and it flew out, hitting me in the face and causing my head to jerk back into the wall behind me. My girlfriend had to drive me to the hospital for my concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 300

You deserved it 3 307

Self report

By Bonk - 04/02/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, my clumsiness reached a whole level when I hit myself in the face with a hammer hard enough for blood to come out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 186

By BloodyNoseMcgee - 11/10/2018 15:30

Today, I dropped some glass at my job while putting it on the shelf. A shard bounced off the floor and went up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 998

You deserved it 181

Rude awakening

By oww - 15/11/2009 19:38 - United States

Today, I woke up with a bloody nose and my lamp next to me in bed. Apparently I grabbed the cord of the lamp and yanked while I was sleeping, and it fell on my face. The worst part? My boyfriend saw it was going to happen, but didn't stop me because he thought it would be funny to "see my reaction." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 254

You deserved it 3 399

xCrackerx 3

Sunday 25 October 2009 9:25

You're the kind of person who forced McDonalds to put WARNING: HOT on every cup of coffee.

xshyguyx 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 8:41

next time don't yank the cord, lesson learned

Comments

ItsAshxD 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 8:39

Ouch. D:

cassdede 0

Monday 1 March 2010 5:12

that just made my day

xshyguyx 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 8:41

next time don't yank the cord, lesson learned

Itsu_fml 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 8:47

Oh dude I've done that but it cut my cheek. That was a fun one. DX

DuhthatsObvious 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 12:33

You suck as much as OP's vacuum.

HamsteronA 0

Tuesday 26 January 2010 18:02

^^^^ win!

owlcityislove 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 8:48

PWNED.. sorry.. that sucks.. :/

MagicMeds 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 8:55

"So what?" button please!

onlysoph 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 8:58

Why? I'd say cutting your lip open counts as an FML

anniemarie 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 9:03

haha so..that's kinda like today, I got a papercut. FML no one really cares...

prettyboy82 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 9:19

You shouldn't be a moron and yank a cord out! Common sense says it's coming back to where it was yanked from, in this case right toward YOU!

xCrackerx 3

Sunday 25 October 2009 9:25

You're the kind of person who forced McDonalds to put WARNING: HOT on every cup of coffee.

nyuu1234 0

Sunday 25 October 2009 9:26

Wow u hurt your lip who gives a crap

FerrariCake 2

Sunday 25 October 2009 9:29

Get a Roomba! It doesnt have a cord and it does the vacuuming for you!

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Dogs Animals Teenagers Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past four months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 103

You deserved it 3 775

Today, I came out as lesbian and introduced my new girlfriend to my family. My mom angrily told me that I should have waited until my grandparents had died before coming out, and that I was "extremely disrespectful" for making this announcement. I honestly thought everyone would be fine with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 094

You deserved it 1 169

The Top

Today, after working on my novel for two years, I found out that another book has recently been published with an almost identical plot. I was going to submit it to a publisher in two days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 806

You deserved it 418

Today, while getting gas, a hottie pulled-up to the pump next to me. I finished filling my tank and started to drive away. As I was checking her out and paying no attention to my driving, I ended up taking the front bumper off her car with my truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 057

You deserved it 40 464

Today, in an effort to repair our fake Christmas tree, my girlfriend succeeded in gluing it to the floor. I can't get it loose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 347

You deserved it 4 037

Today, I offered to stay late at my delivery job because it was snowing and several people called out. An hour later I got rear ended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 099

You deserved it 437

Today, I was checking into a hotel with my boyfriend. A few minutes after we get to our room, the cops show up to our door asking to see some ID from the both of us. The hotel staff had called the cops on us because they thought I was underage and he was going to molest me. I'm 21 and he is 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 024

You deserved it 3 206

Today, I discovered the terrible things my parents say about my wife while visiting them. They speak in Arabic around us and I've never really been able to understand them. Guess who hasn't only brushed up on his Arabic, but spent the last 6 months teaching his wife… FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 989

You deserved it 406